Across all cultures, regardless of body type (big/small, lean/large, tall/short) or ethnicity, the hourglass female shape is found to be universally most attractive. A waist/hip ratio under .7 is ideal. Traditionally we think of 36/24/36 (with a ration of .67)as the perfect womanly shape. Why is this? The evolutionary reductionist, with the dreary calculus of "survival of the fittest" will creatively devise some scheme to prove the curvy female ensures continuance of the species. So mechanical/technical/boring/tiring! So lacking in loveliness, drama, insight, fascination! We offer here a more metaphysical and then a very physical cause for this fascination.
Consider the shapes of all our numbers from 0-9: all are combinations of straight lines, ovals and circles. The simplest are 0 and 1. But by far the most excellent in regards to visual pleasure, harmony, integrity, complexity/simplicity, and the suggestion of abundance is 8. The hourglass female shape reflects the figure 8 in its interior, substantial integrity, harmony, simplicity, abundance. The 8 is two shapes, two 0s, which retain their own integrity as they touch each other, creating a new, more complex and fascinating shape. Neither of the 0s is compromised, devoured, violated, compromised or dominant. Each is perfectly itself. This makes it, of course, a perfect symbol of marriage in which each spouse retains, without compromise or corruption, his/her identity and gender, even as an entirely new, in some ways superior, entity is created, the marriage/family. We are suggesting here that in the multiple-layered Miraculous Analogy of Creation, the number 8 and the female shape both express a Divine Intuition about Being as beautiful, simple/complex, fruitful, harmonious and spousal.
Now we turn to two very physical, biological masculine drives which contrast with each other, in less than absolute contradiction, but together create enormous tension: the paternal and the infantile.
The better one, by far, is the paternal: the physical urge within masculine strength to provide, protect, shelter, nurture, and give life. In this the male is drawn to the female as small, precious, cute, needy, vulnerable, and appealing. Hormone-wise we are dealing with large doses of oxytocin, testosterone and serotonin. The female in her maternity experiences similar surges of energy before a cute and especially a suffering baby. This urge is of its nature generous, not needy, but responsive of masculine strength to what is smaller, vulnerable and precious. Thus, the slim waste and smaller proportions of the female evoke this powerful paternal, husbandly urge.
On the other hand we have the infantile regression within male sexuality. Freud spoke of the "death wish." We see here the urge to return to the protection and pleasure of the womb and breast. The union of the fetus and baby with the mother is in large part one of inchoate, paradisal union and pleasure. With weaning and development this happy condition is lost permanently. The male retains a residual grief, a longing to return to pure happiness. Pathological inclinations to addictions, including chemical but also sexual/romantic, draw from this yearning to escape the pain of life and return to the pleasure of the womb and the breast. The wholesome man will experience this in modest proportion and countervail by more generous, healthy energies. But attractive female abundance, below and above the waist, clearly awaken this longing. And so we find in pornography concentration especially on these two aspects of the female form, which contrast with the slim waist.
Consider two distinct types of female allure, appealing to the paternal and the infantile: the voluptuous, curvaceous figures of Marilyn Monroe or Pamela Anderson clearly appeal to the infantile craving. On the other hand, the slim, petite figures of Audrey Hepburn or Kiera Knightly arouse the more generous virile drives (think Gregory Peck protecting the princess in Roman Holiday). These two are not contradictory of or incompatible with each other. Ordinarily, women combine the two: think Grace Kelly, Ingrid Bergman, Halley Berry, Gweneth Paltrow.
To summarize: the male gaze upon the hourglass feminine form evokes a powerful fascination and intoxication as it includes: an aesthetic perception of a geometric form that is inherently expressive of abundance, harmony, integrity; a regressive compulsion toward a memory of pleasurable union without pain; and the generous urge to care for the precious, the little, the vulnerable. We are dealing here with a "perfect storm" of infatuation and obsession.
All of this occurs independent of the male perception of the more sublime perfection of the female face: the symmetry, welcoming lips, bright smile and, above all, the eyes, which are themselves window into the womanly heart and soul. This perception of the womanly heart through the eyes and facial expressions awakens the most significant masculine response to woman: reverence. More than anything else, the male is called to a posture of wonder, respect and awe before the tender, generous, welcoming feminine soul.
This is what Adam voiced when he first saw Eve: "This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh!" He recognized his equal, his partner, his spouse. But he recognized her as different from himself, as wo-man.
In his subconscious memory of his mother, the man recalls, even more than the grief of separation, the primal union, the safety, the pleasure. And so, he carries always a foundational gratitude to mother. This joyous debt, founded on a sense of wellbeing and communion with the benevolent womb/breast/face/arms, is transferred to every woman. The protection, pleasure, and care he received for the months and years within the maternal embrace abide in the memory; and surge in a gesture of reciprocation to any and every woman he encounters, especially those who are vulnerable, suffering, or noble.
The lifelong task of every man...the "itinerary of virility"...is to inflame this tenderness and reverence, and restrain/minimize the residual infantile compulsions. Obviously, modesty in dress on the part of women, especially those who are more voluptuous, is helpful for us men. Unfortunately, fashion encourages maximum exposure, rather than modest camouflage of the hourglass figure.
For the man "custody of the eyes" is essential. This requires, first of all, honest and realistic awareness of one's own weakness (of concupiscence) before the female shape. It means refraining from the lustful, pornographic glance of the infantile impulse. But even more important is positive attention to the preciousness and nobility of the woman, manifest primarily in the face, which evokes tenderness and reverence.
Especially helpful, for the man drawn into the inebriation of lust and covetousness, is prayer: acknowledgement of poverty and need; praise for the beauty of the woman in every dimension including this hourglass shape; and prayer for her in her neediness and splendor.
