A Marian Take on "50 Shades of Grey"

The fascination with Fifty Shades of Grey and its masochism has been perceptively related to the overload on women in a post-feminist world: they are stressed with pressures from the marketplace of work/career and that of popularity/appeal, they are overachieving in industry and academy even as they are taking care of the kids, the home and the parents. They are so active, so in control and in charge of so much...the logic goes...that they welcome retreat into a fantasy of passivity, inertia, and submission. This is probably accurate. If the "feminine" includes a dynamic of reception, than it will re-assert itself, in an unfortunate form, if repressed by a hyper-masculine culture of unbalanced agency, achievement and control. The problem goes beyond women: men also are drawn to masochism. The same-sex male act is defined by domination...an ugly reality entirely avoided by those who so cavalierly legitimate the act. The theme of the female dominatrix has wide appeal, even in softer forms as the pornographic classic Lolita in which the weak, older man is overcome by the underage female aggressor. This "submission" theme, in conjunction with its complement "domination," suggest an underlying privation: an obsession with control, action and achievement and an aversion to reception, contemplation, and "the feminine." As creatures, gratuitously brought into being by a generous, loving God, we are always first and foremost in the posture of reception: we receive existence as well as this particular mother and father, family, time in history, DNA, and so on. And if we are created to love we are first loved...by family, and others, and God...long before we can ever love even in the slightest. And so, the appeal of masochism suggests that so many of us have not been loved, have not received, have not learned to surrender to love... be that in family or romance or friendship or religion. It suggests we need to learn to open our hearts to the wholesome, ennobling, freeing and strengthening love that comes, in so many marvelous manners, from the God who created and saved and loves us!

Katniss Everdeen: Icon of the Feminine as Fierce

As portrayed by Jennifer Lawrence, Katniss (Hunger Games)is a refreshing, inspiring image of woman as a warrior...courageous, fierce, and resilient...but yet feminine and maternal. As such, she retrieves Catholic traditions of a fierce, fearless femininity. We think of our Blessed Mother as gentle, quiet, almost passive...but recall that she is the one who crushes the head of the serpent, Satan. As such, she is the penultimate warrior, fearless and reckless in defense of her children. This is Katniss: gracious, gentle, but relentless in defense of the victimized. Think of St. Catherine of Sienna rebuking kings and popes; of Joan of Ark leading her troups. Think of the many virgin-martyrs who sprang up spontaneously in the fertile soil of early Christianity: in a Roman culture where women were the possessions of men, they asserted an independence, an interior strength, a courage, an invincible determination. Their courage and strength of course were wed to their purity and chastity. Katniss models this as well. She is more than capable of eros love. Indeed, she loves and is loved passionately by two young men. Interestingly, she herself is confused in her feelings for her two lovers but what is clear to all is that these romantic loves must defer to a deeper, truer, more passionate love...her devotion to her family and people. While not explicitly Christ-centered, this celibate, chaste commitment reflects a heroic, transcendent, sacrificial and agapic love. Her vigorous, natural longing for companionship and intimacy surrenders itself on behalf of a more generous, selfless, heroic love. Katniss, like every celibate and virgin, shows us that romantic love never fulfills itself but needs to be poured into the deeper agapic love for God, family and community. This is the pattern of the virgin martyrs, of our Lady, of Joan and Catherine. Femininity is at once generous, tender, pure and fierce!

The Seductive Nihilism of "The Wire"

Like many, when exposed to the TV series, The Wire, I became fascinated, obsessed,addicted...watching 2 or 3 episodes, recklessly, late in to the night, well past my bedtime. Just thinking about the next episode made me high...But, I wondered: Why the vague guilt and quiet sadness? Everyone agrees: "The writing is excellent; the acting superb; the characters are fascinating as each is a mixture of good and bad; and it is so realistic!" The problem with the series is precisely the unrelenting moral ambiguity of the characters and a fundamental unreality about the show's world view. The series prides itself on its realism about dysfunctional urban cultures and there is a certainly a powerful taste of reality to the show. But The Universe of The Wire is relentlessly, fundamentally dismal, hopeless, closed and nihilistic. More specifically, this world is devoid of the three fundamental realities of the world I know: the presence of strong, good women; the possibility of moral heroism; and an openness to a transcendent, supernatural realm. First: the absence of the feminine: as presented, the world of the Baltimore projects, police and docks is harshly, stereotypically macho in the worst fashion. It is all men...and brutalized women. No one (with the exception of Omar and his grandmother) seems to have a good wife, an admirable sister, a dear daughter, or an inspiring girlfriend! No one! Consider by contrast the classic femme fatale of film noir in which the woman is fascinatingly and ambiguously femme (her beauty intimating consolation, happiness, satisfaction) and fatale and oftentimes one must wait for the final scene to see if the femme or the fatale prevails. In The Wire, there are no genuinely womanly characters...seductive or inspirational. Kima, the endearing lesbian policewoman, is distinguished by her aggressiveness. In one scene, a young black thug punches an older policeman and the other cops pile on to give him the beating of his life. Kima stops what she is doing to jump into the action. I expected that her black identity and maternal instinct drove her to protect the young man; but she jumped in to pummel him further! Rhonda, the bright and beautiful prosecuting attorney, casts herself from one adulterous relationship to another, seemingly oblivious of her own dignity or that of marriage. DeAngelo's mother (Avon's sister) absolutely entrusts her family to a life of crime and talks her own son out of seeking a new path. Any thriving, vibrant culture rotates around the strong mother: you name it...Irish Catholic, Jewish and most of all Afro-American. The demise of the maternal, the resilient, the nourishing, the womanly...is a harbinger of cultural catastrophe. The Wire portrays just such a world-without-women. Secondly, The Wire is absolutely cynical about the possibility of genuine, consistent moral goodness. Every character is enclosed in a narrow world and enslaved to personal vices and none have a possibility of escape. This is especially heart-breaking in regard to the young drug dealers; but no less true of the cops, who are entrapped more by interior than external shackles. McNulty is the epitome of this: charming, handsome, intelligent, and zealous about his work, he is also a bad drunk, a compulsive adulterer, a workaholic, an irresponsible father-husband. He is a man without a center; a moral catastrophe! He shows not an iota of contrition or awareness of his desperate conditions(s) or a hope for a better way. At least DeAngelo and Striker are seeking a new life...albeit futilely. Indeed, it is this sense of futility, of despair, of a closed, imprisoning universe that hangs over the series like one of Bunk or Jimmy's hangovers. To use classic Catholic terms: the world and the flesh are invincible...the devil is in hiding but in control...there is no hope of escape. This is the third and final and fatal aspect of the series: there is no Hope and no real hope...whether you are a Polish dock worker, an Irish cop, or a black drug dealer. There seems to be a dark, voyeuristic appeal to this world. It is not real except perhaps in the sense that it accurately portrays the 1% of the worst of the worst. It presents a Gotham-type, Jungian or Gnostic world in which good and evil are evenly matched so that the good never triumphs and evil, by default, wins by a tie. Having spent my adult life in Jersey City, a city not unlike Baltimore, I am certain that every police department, housing project and blue-collar workplace is teaming with good, even heroic women and men. There are strong, generous, resilient women; there is the possibility of heroism for us men; our world does open up and is enclosed in a greater, better reality. The Wire is NOT realistic!

Veronica's Veil: Icons in a Culture of Disconnection

Last night, at the NYU Catholic Center, Thomas Hibbs, Thomist philosopher and critic of contemporary nihilistic culture out of Baylor University, delivered a lecture ("Maritain, Modernity, Aesthetics and Beauty")that was remarkable for its clarity and depth of insight. Drawing from Maritain's understanding of art and beauty, Marion's more current insights in icons-and-idols, and the striking visuals of Roualt's Miserere, Hibbs contrasted (post)modern nihilism with Roualt's image of Veronica and her veil. Maritain, following Thomnas, understood that art is always based in the senses and the natural, in reality, even as it moves beyond mere portrayal to unveil deeper realities. The crisis of our culture is the disconnect (traced through modern philosophy back to the "angelism" of Descartes and his divorce of body from mind/soul)of image from reality. Futuristic film (e.g. The Matrix) is obsessed with the dread that image reflects only another image, in an infinite regress, so that nothing real or true is ever reached. So, for example, Maritain considered that early-20th-century art mostly ignored the human face...with a few exceptions. Prominent among these exceptions was his friend Roualt. The key to understanding Maritain and indeed the Catholic understanding of Beauty and Truth is Roualt's presentation of Veronica and her veil. Vera-icon means, of course, true image. And so, by this tradition we cherish the conviction that the face of the actual person of Jesus is truly an image of the invisible God; and that that actual image itself can be re-imaged by us, as Veronica did with her act of compassion and her humble iconic veil. And so, the Catholic Universe of Veronica, Thomas, Maritain and Roualt is the polar opposite of post-modernity in its skepticism, nihilism, isolation and loneliness. With Aristotle we know that our senses, images, words and thoughts connect us with the real, with Being, with "the Other." With Veronica we know that we can touch and caress and comfort the very face of God in the concrete, physical, sensual realities of service, sacrament, art, family and sacrifice.

Letter to Pope Francis

Dear Holy Father, With filial reverence and loyalty and the spirit of fraternal candor with which you exhorted the recent synod on the family I write to tell you of my sadness, disappointment and sense of betrayal because of your confused teaching. I admire and emulate your freedom of spirit and especially your pastoral passion for the poor and alienated. I appreciate the urgency of your desire to show God’s love to those who feel condemned and rejected by the Church. And I believe that your intention is to give a fresh, new approach or attitude while protecting the integrity of our faith. This evangelical purpose is praiseworthy…but perilous and risks polluting the truth by a feel-good, ambiguous open-mindedness. We are directed by Scripture to always “speak the truth in love” and we fall short of this when we speak truth without love, but also if we try to love while compromising the truth. I am saddened that: ----- You are critical rather than supportive of those of us who, in the face of a hostile culture, defend the innocent and helpless, the meaning of sexuality and family and religious freedom. We need a father, a leader to encourage and support us. We look to you for this. Do not betray us! ----- You referred to the active homosexual lifestyle with the words: “Who am I to judge?” We are well aware that none of us can judge the heart and soul of another: we love the sinner but hate the sin. That hatred requires a judgment. On this earth the first and foremost judge of right and wrong, for us Catholics, is our father and teacher, yourself. These words from your mouth would be like the same words coming from a policeman, judge or jury if faced with a heinous case of child abuse. As children of our heavenly Father it is our responsibility and honor to “judge”…to make decisions based on the truth, about right and wrong. To take action to defend the most vulnerable and violated. But it is above all your role, my Father, to guide us all. I understand your motive in speaking these words: to express love for those who feel condemned and alienated. But you cannot betray the truth! ----- Your exemplary love for the poor is corrupted by resentment: a Maoist-like contempt for the powerful and privileged. This is understandable from one who identifies with the poor…but is not Christ-like. While the media sees you as humble, I sense a harsh, arrogant, judgmental tone in your remarks to and about capitalists, clergy, cultural-warriors, and even the pious (e.g. your disparagement of the spiritual bouquet you received at the beginning of your pontificate.) These also need to hear the truth, the Good News, in a spirit of love. And so, if you offend truth in your ambiguous outreach to the margins, you offend love in your harshness to those closest to you and the Church. ----- Perhaps worse than anything you have said is that, in your appointments to date, you seem to be re-constituting the Church in reaction against the dual-pontificate of your immediate predecessors in favor of a hierarchy that identifies more deeply with the poor but accommodates to the corrupt values of liberalism and is bereft of the backbone and fortitude to wage cultural warfare on behalf of our most precious values. We understand the difficulty of your mission: to communicate God’s love to the distant and alienated. It is an impossible task: in speaking the truth you are seen as condemnatory; in expressing love, without clarity, you risk confusion and misguidance. You…and all of us…The Church…need, desperately need, the guidance of the Counselor! Come Holy Spirit!

The Mystery of Masculine Homosexual Desire

Human desire, but especially sexual longing, is a deep, awesome, complex Mystery: it is Godly, noble and holy and at the same time profoundly wounded and disordered, by sin. In this arena more than any other the intermingling of "wheat and weeds" is dense and formidable. The traditional understanding of "concupiscence" instructs us that all of us, in distinctive ways, are "sick" in our heart, desire and will. But the teachings of people St. John Paul II, Pope Benedict and Fr. Giussani have unveiled for us, more clearly, the divinely-inspired essence of desire. The recent provisional statement out of the Synod on the Family spoke of the "gifts and graces" that are available to us from people with same-sex attractions. While firmly, even passionately, on the conservative side of the culture wars, I welcomed this refreshing statement. I think of my dear friends who are gifted/afflicted with this disposition: they are so often sensitive, compassionate, intelligent, generous, creative, spiritual and admirable men. In homosexual relationships, as the provisional document stated, there is often the deepest empathy, support, self-sacrifice and goodness. It is good for the Church...the Synod, the Pope, and all of us...to say this loudly and clearly. Traditionalists need not be afraid: this is simply SO true! But there is another side of the coin: this desire includes a tendency towards sexual engagement that is sterile, extrinsic (non-unitive) and disordered. This is simply the truth! Additionally, this inclination is generally associated with wounds involving identity, paternity, authority, women and masculine self-esteem. And so there is good news and bad about the homosexual inclination: the conservatives are afraid to acknowledge the good lest it be seen as a capitulation to the Spirit of the Age while liberals get hysterical at any mention of the dark side. Both need to be seen: but what is most important is the heart or the root of the desire. At bottom, I believe, is not a sexual wish at all, but something deeper: the longing for connection, for intimacy, for communion with the paternal, with that which is strong and virile and gentle and affirming. At the deeper level, then, masculine same-sex desire is a longing for fatherly and brotherly love. It is at its core a holy, worthy, and ennobling desire...that must be correctly directed. And so, it is for all of us as brothers-in-Christ warmly, chastely, confidently and tenderly welcome our brothers with open arms in a fatherly and brotherly way. We need not fear this desire...We can embrace it...Gently and firmly we can direct it towards its satisfaction: the holy, fraternal intimacy with Jesus Christ and with His and our merciful Father.

Languages of Love

Psychologist Gary Chapman has famously identified five languages in which we express and receive love: physical touch, words of love and affirmation, quality time together, gifts and acts of service. This is a most helpful, fruitful suggestion. It has provoked me to consider five deeper, underlying, interior languages of love. First is the language of prayer...in which we pray with and for the Beloved. Any genuine love...parental, spousal, romantic or friendly...moves in, out of, and toward the deeper, broader, primordial love of God. For a love to be enduring, true and good, it must rest in the deeper love of God that is expressed explicitly or at least implicitly in prayer. Second is the language of gratitude: the Lover is unceasingly and passionately surprised, delighted and grateful before the unmerited, unexpected, and astonishing gift of the Beloved...as friend, spouse, father, mother, daughter, son, brother or sister. Third is the language of beauty: love is responsive to the beauty of the Beloved. It is this irrepressible, generous and extravagant loveliness that awakens love...and love finds its fitting expression in beauty...the beauty of flowers, a garden, or a gorgeous jewelry or attire. The splendor of our Catholic liturgy and churches is definitive of how we love God. Forth is the language of trust, because love can flourish and grow only in such an atmosphere. The Beloved shows forth her beauty, in its deepest dimensions, only when she trusts; and the Lover shows his love vigorously and efficaciously only when he trusts. Fifth is the language of humility and contrition. The Lover is also sinner and aware that he has failed to adequately reverence and care for the Beloved. And so, he is in a perpetual posture of amendment, eager to repair and compensate for his failure to love the way his Beloved deserves. It is clear that these five languages do not compete with each other, but mutually infuse and strengthen each other: prayer, gratitude, beauty, trust and humility/contrition. These might be understood as the interior of love, the soul or heart or form, which finds a multitude of exterior expressions in the five languages identified by Chapman. An additional and absolutely essential consideration is the necessity of purity in all five languages, and especially chastity in the language of touch. Physical touch is definitive of spousal and maternal/paternal love, but in the friendship between adult men and women, the dreadful realities of original sin and concupiscence absolutely require restrain, discipline, tolerance of frustration and custody of the eyes, thoughts and deeds. Such chastity is, of course, a specific if essential dimension of the deeper and broader purity of heart in which we view the Beloved always in her own goodness and in the light of God's surpassing love.