First, I Am a Son

“How many of you married men believe that your first task is to provide for your wife and children?” the speaker asked at the Catholic Men’s Conference. Hundreds of hands went into the air, mine included. “Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!” He vehemently shouted. “Providing for your family is the job of our heavenly Father. It is NOT your first priority. Your task, first and foremost, is to be a son of the Father!” “Wow!” I thought. “That is deep…and true.” First and foremost, now and always, I am son of the Father. This is before being provider, achiever, husband, father, leader, brother, worker or grandfather. First and foremost, I am a son. This means I am receptive. I am grateful. I am docile. I am loyal. I am obedient…in any and all circumstances. If I invert my priorities and focus first on my identity as provider, father, or achiever, I am vulnerable in two directions: If successful, I may become self-reliant, proud, and arrogant. If I fail, I am prone to discouragement, despair, and self-loathing. In the meantime I am paralyzed by performance anxiety. All are toxic. If however, I am first and always son of my Father in heaven, then I share in a steady Joy and confidence; I am hopeful in failure and humble in success; I am reliant on others and generous to those in need; I am active but always out of a prior receptivity; I am obedient, but not subservient, to those in authority; even as I wield my own power in quiet confidence and gentle tenderness. This message is most urgent for our young men in today’s society and economy. We now facing an ominous crisis in masculinity as our young men are not being offered the mentoring and itinerary of formation they need to assume virile identity and responsibility. Our economy is meager in employment opportunities, especially for young men. Our young women are greatly outperforming their counterparts in school, profession, emotional maturity and occupational focus and confidence. We are drifting towards a matriarchy as women, who always are preeminent in the family, are surpassing men in much of the workplace; as virility is undervalued in its spiritual and emotional meaning; and our young men are plagued with indecision, insecurity and anxiety. The very first building block for genuine masculine strength and confidence is intimacy with our Father. The young man who is close to his Father, who is cherished, guided and strengthened by Him, will face failure, unemployment, and disappointment with serene joy and will receive success with humble confidence.