Communion of Sinners

Reading Adrienne von Speyr, I see that Confession strengthens my union with the Communion of Saints, but does NOT distance me from the Communion of Sinners. Rather, it moves me more deeply into participation in this fellowship...But in a new way: I am open to and vulnerable to the pain, the guilt and contrition, the longing that comes with sin. In confession I do not rise above sinners or flee the wages of sin, rather I move with Christ more deeply into the abyss; I identify with the lonely, isolated, despairing; I come to cherish my neighbor, that judgmental, cowardly, arrogant, condescending, wife-beating, child-abusing hypocrite. I cherish him because I see in him what I have recognized in myself: my own sin and the extravagant love of Christ that liberates me.

Not Enough: Catholic Family, Parish, School

They are NOTenough, not enough to protect, strengthen and especially pass on the faith, all together the are not enough: Catholic family, parish and school. They are not strong enough: the environment is too toxic; the hostile forces too powerful and prevalent; a stronger antidote is required. It was not always so. Circa 1950, the Catholic faith flourished in vital communities as the broader environment was so supportive: the Democratic Party, the unions, entertainment, wholesome patriotism in the wake of WWII and in the face of communism, a robust economy and a pervasive Christian (if Protestant) culture. It is not so today. An array of hostile powers work against our faith, especially against us passing it on to our young: economic anxieties,pressures to succeed, consumerism, careerism, materialism, sexual liberation, saturation with a godless media, pornography...the litany goes on. Imagine Commissioner Gordon of Gotham City facing the Joker, Bane, the League and the mob all with ordinary resources: Ridiculous! Their powers are too great; their influence too pervasive. Something beyond the ordinary is needed: Batman! And so, today, in our actual, real world, every Catholic and every family needs something exceptional: a dynamism, a charism, a rule, an itinerary of formation and fortification in the faith. This, concretely, takes the form of an intensive community of faith, organized around a distinctive practice. This practice will always include the staples of Catholic spirituality (sacraments, Church teaching, Scripture, intimate fellowship, and mission); but usually in a distinctive, creative, and personal manner. This can mean participation in a monastery or religious order (as a lay affiliate), a movement, prayer group or assoication of some kind. It will mean a saturation in gospel thinking, prayer, mimesis and communion. It will mean an impowerment, an agressivenss, a confidence and militancy in bringing the Joy of God's love to an alienated world.

Deep Gentleness

Deep Gentleness might be another name for God, and godliness, as revealed in our Lord Jesus Christ. Deep, so deep as to be infinitely strong, invulnerable, powerful. But power that is quiet, peaceful, generous. So deeply silent because significance and beauty are dense and intense as to be inexpressible in word or sound. Absolutely gentle as to be free of any violence. Powerful and gentle so as to absorb evil and death and turn them into good and life without harm or violation. So complete and serene as to be without lack or privation. But flowing over, unceasingly, in generosity, newness, splendor and drama. Free, radiant, and endlessly creative. Springing from a memory that is endlessly rich. Moving, delightfully and hopefully, into a boundless future. Yet resting in a present that is at once tranquil and ecstatic.

The Confessional Act

Slowly re-reading Adrienne von Speyr's spiritual masterpiece Confession intensifies my awareness of the confessional act. For Speyr, of course, confession is first of all about God's goodness, not our own evil. In this sense, Jesus and Mary are the quintessential confessors, sinless even as they proclaim God's victory over sin. For us sinners, however, confession is different and seems to entail three coincident moments. First,we acknowledge, manifest, unveil our wrongdoing. We confess: I did bad. We are transparent, vulnerable, and brutally honest. Secondly, however, this is done with two fundamental attitudes: that I regret and renounce what I have done (and what I, to some degree, am) and secondly that I hope for and beg for pardon. The first half of the attitude shows a split in the soul: I do what I do not want to do. I am what I do not want to be. "Hi, I am Bill. I am an alcoholic." With these words, the 12-stepper reveals a split: I know I am out of control of my drinking but at the deepest level I want to be free. The second attitude is an act of Hope: what I long for, inner freedom and forgiveness, I request, hopefully. The third moment comes from the Other, from beyond myself, it is the pardon, the absolution, the reconciliation as I sense myself accepted, affirmed, embraced in love, specifically in my badness. The confessional act is never isolated or discrete but always erupts within a larger drama: it is prepared for by the awakening of contrition in the conscience, and it fructifies in acts of reparation, gratitude, amendment and praise. And so, Confession defines the life of the Catholic: we live from confession to confession, basking in the afterglow of the previous encounter, and moving towards and longing for then next release into Mercy. A heartfelt apology to the loved one I have hurt, a good confession, a genuine 12-step sharing, a charismatic experience of inner healing and deliverance from evil, and many a breakthrough therapeutic session...all have at their core the risky, exhilarating, liberating act of confession.

A Prayer

Lord, draw me to yourself. Cleanse me of my sin. Fill me with your love. Make me humble. Make me holy. Make me trustworth, as I place all my trust in you. Let me sing your praises forever!

Something Greater Than Myself

Batman is a good example of the male as representational of something beyond himself. There is no way that Bruce Wayne, for all his sophistication and wealth, could combat the mega-crime and giga-characters of Gotham on his own resources. He had to become something far greater than himself: something preternatural or supernatural, Batman! Star Wars, Lord of the Rings,Zoro and the Superheros...all have the same Drama: the powers of evil are so great that something far greater than ordinary human prowess is required. These dramas are accurate, realistic if graphic portrays of our real situation: we are in (eternally) mortal combat with the supernatural powers of evil, Satan, his demons, all the worldly powers and our own profound weakness. To prevail and triumph we must ally ourselves with a power far greater than ourselves, the very Spirit of God. How silly and futile is the liberal humanist, fancying himself a "good person," imagining that once we get the Republicans out of office and everyone into counseling, everything will be okay. In the sacraments of the Church we put on Christ; we unite ourselves with his greater power; we count our very weakness as a vehicle for His strenth. Consider the priest who absolves sin, confects the Eucharist, and teaches with authority...none of this through his own efficacy. But every Catholic, by virtue of baptism, confirmation and Eucharist, is able to cast out demons, forgive the enemy, heal the sick, and bring comfort and peace to the desolate. In Christ we have the power to triumph over evil, but we always need something far greater than ourselves, we need our light saber, batmobile, and mask, not to mention our alliance with all the angels, saints, hierarchs and choirs of heaven.

The Male as Representational

Woman is endowed with an integrity, a coherence, a splendid harmony of body, heart, mind and soul. By contrast, the man is fragmented, defective, and dissonant. But this is okay because their roles are distinct. The woman is made to be only herself: she is creation at its perfection. Our Lady Mary, at the age of 14, was already the high point of creation. It would never get any better than that. A young woman who has been cherished already at the age of 14 has such a radiance and integrity. Her beauty and wholeness are intact and complete...and she does not stand for another. By contrast, the man always represents another. Christ represents the Father; priest, bishop and pope represent Christ and the Father; every father stands for Our Father; the cop, soldier, fireman, judge and mayor all represnt something bigger than themselves. The woman is meant to be herself in her integrity and beauty; the man is called to stand for something beyond himself. That is why men love uniforms: they represnt a higher cause. That is why little boys are fascinated with toy soldiers, star wars, and imaginary play in general. It is true that little girls love princesses; but they somehow intuit that the princess figure expresses their actually selves. For boys, on the other hand, fantasy play brings them into another realm, a distinct world, far removed from their own. This is because they are destinted to represent Another, who is far greater then themselves. Therefore, male dysfunction, inferiority and defectiveness all contribute to their mission as they highlight that the man is himself merely a pointer towards another. And so, by this logic, humility, awareness of one's own imperfection, is the primordial masculine virtue.

Innocence

Of late, I have been praying for and longing for innocence. What is innocence? We tend to think of it as a privation: our thinking is backward. In court, innocence is lack of guilt or inadequate proof of guilt; in absolution, removal of sin, we Catholics are restored to a state we imagine as clean or blank; and in common discourse the word can indicate a lack of experience, practical knowledge or engagement with reality. This logic is inverted: it is innocence that is a positivity, a fullness, and a joy; and it is loss of innocence that is the privation or negation. Innocence is a quiet plenitude; a lightness in movement; an interior tranquility; an appreciative openness to the other; a spiritual freedom; an effortless generosity; a rest and relaxation from struggle; and a joy that is uncaused. Innocence comes to us as a gift from heaven; a gift heaven is eager to give to those of us who yearn for it.

We Are Not Enough

In the delightful comedy, Moonrise Kingdom, the eccentric, dysfunctional couple (Bill Murray plays the husband) are speaking to each from separate beds. The wife has been trying to corral her three rambunctious boys and one tempermental early-teen girl through her bull horn while committing adultery; the husband is rarely without a glass of wine in hand as he exudes midlife disorientation and quiet despair. At this point, however, they address each other with a tenderness flowing from shared sadness, hurt and contrition. "I am sorry she says." "That's alright," he replies. "But for which precise hurts are you sorry?" After a pause: "For any that still hurt you." He replies: "It's okay. Half of them are self-inflicted anyway." Later, he adds that he wishes the wind would just blow him away with the roof. But she alludes to the children: "We are all they have!" Again a poignant pause and he adds: "It is not enough." It is not enough!How true!As a father I heartily agree: "We are not enough: my wife and I!" But the good news is that within the Church we don't have to be enough. Rather, we have a limited, humble, distinct but significant role as mother and father...but we are part of a greater whole: grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins, priests, teachers, virgins, coaches, neighbors, saints and angels. From that point in the movie, the drama goes into overdrive with a string of preposterous, serendpitous, and providential events in which the rich ensemble of characters (Ed Norton, Bruce Willis, Harvey Keitel, and some remarkable children) rise to the occasion to rescue the young people in crisis. What this means is that we as parents can relax, trust in God, and surrender our children into the broader communion of love that is the Church.

Gender Wars: Sticks

By the age of three, boys are ecstatic about sticks. A stick is not just a stick; transfigured symbolically, but really, into a gun, sword, missile, it becomes an expression of power, energy, purpose, and victory. Mothers, on the other hand, hate sticks as they portend hostile, destructive penetration of the eye, the face or any other tender spot of the fragile body. It is hard to imagine two greater extremes! The gender wars have begun! Again, we see that the masculine body-psyche inexorably and dynamically moves to protrude, penetrate, and self-extend, preferably in combat. The feminine body-psyche is anxious and vigilant against just such aggression, experienced as violent and destructive. While the male is emotionally-somatically assertive; the female is receptive, open, and vulnerable. My grandsons love to play with a set of alligators which have sharp teeth; my oldest granddaughter, at that same age, was viscerally repulsed by the sight of the toy. This pattern continues into adult life with men cherishing their bats, guns, golf clubs and missile systems. In the face of such stark antimony, is any reconciliation of the sexes possible? Yes! At the foot of Calvary, we see our Lord Jesus grasping his stick, the Cross, and holding it to his heart. With this stick, he will absolutely destroy death, the devil, all sin and evil. At his side is his Mother who assents with him to the destiny willed by the Father. The Sacred Heart, the masculine heart of mercy, and the pierced Immaculate feminine Heart, are at one in the embrace of the Big Stick handed to his son by the Father. Son and Mother are finally in communion, with the Father, in the Holy Spirit.

The Surging of the Penitential Spirit

Catholic neglect of the practice of confession is largely due to widespread disparagement of the sacrament by our priests since the Council: they fail to preach or teach about it, they trivialize it, or they misuse it as a "teaching opportunity" or an exercise in therapeutic counseling. Nevertheless, the Spirit of God is irrepressible, is not restricted to ecclesiastical channels and blows where he/she wishes. And so, we see, again since the Council, a dynamic and vital bursting forth of the penitential or confessional attitude in lay, quasi-ecclesial, non-professional and non-clerical environments. Three examples are: 12-step groups, the scrutinies of the NeoCatechumenal Way, and the charismatic deliverance ministry of Neal Lozano. These quite distinctive practices share many qualities: 1. They invoke the power and presence of God in an explicit, expectant, hopeful manner. 2. They entail transparency and humility in the candid unveiling of weakness and sin. 3. They occur in small communities of trust and confidentiality. 4. They include accountability. 5. They assume as normal human weakness, powerlessness and evil. 6. They proscribe a detailed, comprehensive itinerary of reform as received from a charismatic founder. The real actionof the Holy Spirit comes in the strangest places: the Egyptian desert, the monasteries, the mendicants, and so forth. Today, the Holy Spirit is active in well in small, largely anonymous, humble communities of contrition and amendment...largely beyond Church boundaries.

Bedbugs and the Feminine Psyche

Women react to the prospect of bedbugs with an anxiety so deep and intense that it can properly be described as hysteria. Why is this? As a male, I see bedbugs as a great annoyance and nuisance; as a significant expense and inconvenience; as a problem to be solved; and an enemy (albeit tiny) to be crushed. The bedbug, for me, is something exterior to myself; something to be solved and attacked. My male identity boundary is clear, defined, rigid, and resistant so that I view the bug as extrinsic and objective. In accord with my aggressive, protruding male soma-psyche, I want to defeat and destroy this enemy. Should I feel some panic, I decisively quiet those emotions and assume an attitude of calm, objectivity and resoluteness to pursue the mission and conflict. But for women it is different. The woman is open and receptive: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Her identity boundaries are porous, open, and receptive. In all ways, she is open to the other: her lover, her child, and the one in need or distress. This openness, at once exterior and interior, physical and spiritual, also entails, however, a vulnerability. Because she is open, she is at risk of hostile, malignant penetration. Anxiety is the constant companion for a woman because she is always at risk. If she is properly fathered and husbanded, that is, if she is cherished, valued and protected by a strong but tender masculine love, she is largely, but never completely, immunized against hysteria. Hysteria is the quintessential feminine response to an anticipated hostile penetration in the absence of protective, gentle, delighting masculine care. (By contrast, the prototypical male responses to such threats are the extremes of rage and apathy.) By contrast with rage which must find direction and purpose, hysteria is dispersed, chaotic and purposeless anxiety. And so we can see that the prospect of a bedbug infestation arouses profound anxiety, indeed hysteria, for the woman. Consider also that for the woman, her home is an extension of her body, a part of her identity. By contrast, the man, with his more rigid, defined identity boundary, sees the home as exterior to himself, objective and distant from his inner self. Even more significantly, the feminine psyche inhabits her own body in a distinctive way: she "is" her body in a more profound manner than "is" the masculine psyche. The masculine mind and heart has a capacity for abstraction, distinction, difference, transcendence; the feminine mind moves always to synthesize, unify, harmonize. I used to ask my students: "Which is true: 'I have a body' or 'I am my body?'" Of course, both are true: I am my body even as I (soul, psyche) am more than my body. I suspect that given time to reflect on this questions, women would more likely answer "I am my body." As an example we might contrast the distinct itineraries of Mary and Jesus to their now-glorified states: Jesus' soul left his body on Calvary, descended into hell (whatever that means!), and reunited with a now-glorified body by Easter morning; Mary's soul never left her body as she was assumed, body and soul always immaculate and united as one, directly into heaven. The masculine and the feminine mutually define each other as they come to co-inhere in each other: the female is delivered from anxiety as she receives the tender, delighting love of the man; the man is freed from rage and indifference as he is aroused into delight and purpose by the preciousness and loveliness of his beloved.