A Visit from Heaven

(Disclaimer: Whether the contents of this private revelation are indeed divinely inspired I leave to the judgment of the Catholic Magisterium. It is, in any case, a quintessentially November, month of the souls, dream and may not be unrelated to my idiosyncratic propensity for purgatory jokes.) In the dream, my father, Ray Laracy, was smiling down upon us from heaven. He was quite happy and didn't even seem concerned with developments on earth. He had been in heaven for quite some time as his stay in purgatory was very short and surprisingly pleasant. It turns out that he had only one sin to repair. It seems that his drinking habit was no real problem as he was close to the norm for many Catholic saints and mystics; plus he was a little nervous and needed some relief; plus he was so affectionate and loving after he had a few. Life in heaven, for him, wasn't so different from life on earth, just much better. He catches 6:30 mass every morning and it is over promptly by 6:48: no homily. He normally makes breakfast, as he did for us his children all those years, for his mother, Aunt Grace, Aunt Agnes and any of his brothers or Friday-nighters that stop by. It is always bacon and eggs and toast with butter. He is able to play 18 holes of golf and 4 or five games of handball and not get tired. Hi golf game is now in the middle 70s and a single game of handball can run up to an hour since he and his friends rarely miss the ball. His afternoon is free for nap and reading. Drinks start at 4 PM and at that time he enjoys the company of our Lord, and the Blessed Mother and all the saints. Purgatory was a big surprise for him. He spent the entire time with Republicans, learning to love and appreciate them. He did not expect St. Peter to tell him that his sole sin was rash judgment against Republicans whom he considered to be universally greedy and arrogant. He was delighted to find so many of them to be unexpectedly generous and goodhearted. Greed was common among them but not nearly as bad as he had expected and the poor and working classes were hardly immune to envy and greed. More Republicans were doing time in purgatory for sins against the flesh because they know better; liberals in general do less time for these sins because many of them just do not know better. MLK and JFK both did reduced time by reason of ignorant consciences. Catholics do a lot of time for sexual sins, again because they should know better. The place is packed with Catholics who contracept but almost no non-Catholics who do the same thing. It is sort of like the old days when the place was filled with Catholics who ate meat on Friday. Unfortunately, missing mass on Sunday is still a big deal for Catholics while missing a service for Protestants or synagogue for Jews seems like a minor matter. It really doesn't seem fair but he seemed unperturbed. He really likes Herbert Hoover's sense of humor and Ike had become a regular golf partner since they both like to move along at a good clip. Ronald Reagan is a ton of fun and Richard Nixon is a character-and-a-half. He felt bad for the Rockefellows who spend a long time there. John D. the first is still there. There is a very large section reserved for that family. The only families with larger plots are the Pharohs of Egypt, the Herod family, and the Kennedys. The Laracy plot is modest and entirely dedicated to the bias against Republicans. Ray is pleased that his sons and one daughter have been happily redeemed from this bias, during their time on earth, and he encouraged me to assist my other sisters who are a little slower with this task.