Personal Vows

Outside of marriage and the religious life, we don't often think or speak of vows. But vows are very important and I think we make them all the time, if in a less than fully conscious, deliberate manner. Father Von Balthasar wisely observed that genuine love always has a "vow-like" quality to it. A true friendship, for example, endures in some form for a lifetime, and probably into the afterlife. He emphasized that Catholic-Christian identity inexorably expresses itself in a specific vow, normally to the married or evangelical life (poverty, chastity, obedience, community.)In contrast to such solemn vows, however, we make many more ordinary, simple vows: I will never have children, I will never trust a man, I won't fall in love again. Vows can be holy, in accord with the destiny God has planned, or unholy, contradictory of God's intentions but expressive of those of The Enemy. But even an evil vow has a grandeur about it in that it is absolute, final, permanent, unlike so much of modern life in its fickleness and impermanence. Think Javert (Russel Crowe) in Les Miserable, Henri Duchard (Liam Neelson) of the League of Shadows in Batman Begins, or all the vengenge-fueled villain-heros portrayed by Clint, Arnold,Sylvester and the like. Revenge may be the quintessential demonic vow. Lucifer himself must be respected for the finality of his "non serviam" in that he is vowed to resist God for eternity. Our own baptismal vow, renewed so frequently in the liturgy, is itself a renunciation of his renunciation. On the positive side, our journey into the Kingdom of God is marked by vows. Some consecrated groups make special vows, in additon to the normal three: service of the Holy Father (Jesuits), stability of place (Benedictines) or service of the very poor and suffering. At about the age of 8 or 9, I reacted with a serious sensitivity as I learned about how many people suffer poverty and need and at that time probably made an inchoate promise that my life would have to somehow respond to such suffering. Much later, my encounter with the delightful people in boarding homes gave this intention a more precise expression as I prayed that I might help them. A bad experience of a marihuana high at a party about 40 years ago left me with the resolution that I would never smoke again. The marital vow includes a pledge to regard every other woman as a sister-in-Christ and ennables a rich diversity of loving, reverent, trusting and even intimate if chaste relationships with women. Vows of abstinence in regard to chastity and alcohol are exemplary: think of the Nazarite Samson, Bathseba's husband Uriah, John the Baptist, and the chastity of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Even politics has a quasi-vow quality: my own allegiance to the legal protection of all human life largely precludes me from voting Democrat in national elections; most of my family and friends and just about everyone in Jersey City where I live, on the other hand, are unbendingly loyal to and collaborative with the regime of "choice." To say this is a source of tension and pain is an understatement. Our Lord and Savior gave Himself to us finally and absolutely on the cross and comes to us every day in the Eucharist; may all our smaller promises and pledges be expressive our responsive, Eucharistic devotion to Him.