Misogyny and the Great Philogynist

Misogyny...contempt for women in their very femininity...is everywhere! From Islam we have the kidnapping of Nigerian school girls, honor killings by girls' own brothers, and facial disfiguration of young women because they pursue education. In the "enlightened" West we have a pandemic of pornography,the exportation of abortion to the poor, our Obamic infatuation with and imposition of a Pill that is toxic for the feminine body (not to mention the psyche!), and the subtle and camouflaged voice of a careerist/glamorist culture that taunts each young woman that she is without worth unless she is Smart/Successful (capital S) and/or Sexy (capital S). What is a guy to do? Over 20 years ago I started praying for healing in my own relationships with women. I recognized, with new clarity, my own problems: lust and covetousness of course, but also fear, shame, indifference and a quiet contempt for much of what makes women different from men. My prayers have been answered and I have become a flaming, unrestrained Philogynist: I love women, in their femininity, ecstatically. But...I am still on the road with this one. My philogyny is impure: in some ways I love women too much, in other ways too little. What is a guy to do? My solution: our Lord in the Eucharist!!!! Our Lord Jesus is Himself THE GREAT PHILOGYNIST! He is the one who loves women...all women...every woman...and specifically in their exquisite femininity! He does this because he is strong in his own masculinity: without fear, shame, resentment or weakness. The hidden roots of lust and misogyny are masculine weakness. I know! So every day I approach our Lord in the Eucharist and I pray: "Lord Jesus, share with me your virility: your gentle, quiet, confident strength." "Lord, share with me the way you love women: tenderly, generously, reverently, and chastely!" Do you see why I love THIS GUY so much!!!!

Vanity

Vanity is defined as "excessive pride in one's appearance, abilities or achievements." We immediately associate it with related descriptors: pompous, conceited, arrogant, superior, smug, complacent, and pretentious. Understood thus is is opposed to humility and modesty. However, we might also set it against another list of antonyms: self-hate, insecurity, timidity and passivity. Clearly, the operative word in the definition above is "excessive." So we see that a moderate measure of "vanity"...understood as self-esteem, self-assurance, self-delight, confidence, and wholesome pride...is a good thing. We speak favorably of "someone who is comfortable in her own skin." Indeed, one could hardly exercise any talent or gift...athletic, intellectual, spiritual, artistic...if one is not aware of and delighted by the exercise of that ability. Imagine: an athlete who is insecure and anxious, an intellectual who compulsively doubts himself, a leader who is passive and timid! Or: a Princess who has a negative image of herself! The feminine vocation of bringing Beauty into our world particularly needs a measure of vanity as humble, grateful self-delight. How can the Beauty radiate her loveliness if she does not intuitively sense it herself? This self-delight needs to be leavened and lightened, of course, by gratitude, generosity, modesty, innocence and humility. Part of every woman's vocation is to enhance, radiate and communicate Beauty. In my own virility, I participate in this mission in a minimum way: I vigorously recycle paper and bottles, I groom myself appropriately, and I wear the tasteful clothes my wife and daughters give me; but I appreciate...more than that, I crave, I cherish, I revere, I exult, I almost adore... the feminine presence and the feminine touch with all my heart and soul and mind and strength! An so: a woman who goes to the mirror to review her hair and makeup and appearance or who spends a few hours in catalogs looking for the perfect outfit at the right price...such a woman is not selfish, narcissistic or "vain" in a bad sense! No, she is exercising her charism and vocation of Beauty! When she finds that lovely dress...on sale!!!...she brings Joy and Exultation to heaven and earth. I know this with certainty...although it is not explicit in Scripture, not part of the Ordinary Magisterium, and cannot be verified by science...from my own reliable, mystical, intuitive communion with the angels and saints.

Glamour

In the waiting room of my cardiologist, I couldn't resist the invitation of Glamour magazine to look at the most beautiful people in the world. Wow! Very strong stuff for one with my constitution! But I had to wonder: What is glamour? And is it good or bad? Regularly, in renewing our baptismal vows we renounce "the glamour of evil." Clearly, evil is...or can be...glamorous. But is glamour itself evil? Is everything glamorous bad? The roots of the word are not promising: it is related to the word "grammar" but associated with the language of witchcraft and occult as in the casting of a spell over a victim. For some of us, something magical and powerful and dark like this is operating in the photographs in Glamour or images from the red carpet. The dictionary defines "glamour" as: the quality of fascinating, alluring or attracting, especially by charm and good looks. Less than satisfied with that, I offer my own definition: "The artful enhancement of (usually feminine) beauty." Glamour here is a form of art, a creative action that brings Beauty into our world, a movement that brings Joy to earth and Glory to God. I imagine a woman, of any age, preparing for a wedding or a prom or similar event: she is fastidiously preparing her hair, skin, nails, clothing and jewelry in order to enhance her beauty. Is this a bad thing? Since I am not an iconoclast (as are Protestants, Muslims, Jews and atheists), but a Catholic...and a flaming Balthasarian at that!!!...I am recklessly enthusiastic about anything associated with beauty, charm, and attraction. Glamour is a kind of play...it is a game of beauty: "Let me see how beautiful I can be!" The logic is: "I am beautiful as I am. Just for fun: lets enhance my beauty!" Three year olds "dress up" for fun...so does my 94 year old mother, every single day! Beauty is useless: it does not serve another purpose but is an end in itself. It is frui, not uti...to quote St. Augustine. It is not useful for an extrinsic goal, but is itself an end in itself, like sports, art, learning, love, and worship. Women do not (usually) dress up to seduce or court or entice or propagate or preserve the species. (How I despise Darwinian psychology!) They dress up to be beautiful! Just to be beautiful! It is said that women dress up for other women. There is truth to this because it is mostly other women who will appreciate the beauty. Loveliness, charm, delight, joy...these are transcendental, spiritual (but embodied) realities that transcend the crude simplifications of sexual attraction. And so, there is something heavenly and even divine about being lovely: playful, joyous, purposeless, extravagant, generous and effusive! Imagine a bouquet of magnificent flowers that are haphazard and disorganized. The average woman will admire them and then move immediately to gather, organize and harmonize them in order to ensure the overall loveliness of the entire bouquet. Something like this happens with glamour: everything works together...the hair style, colors, movement of the clothing, jewelry, and so forth. BUT...and this is an enormous BUT...Like all things that are heavenly and powerful and engaging (think food, competition, work, family, alcohol...) too much of a good thing can be...very bad. And so, glamour must be careful to be modest, pure, wholesome, limited, and humble. Glamour so easily can become immodest, impure, corrupted, pretentious and proud. Then it becomes a catastrophe! It is so strong that it can have a magical, spell-like quality...especially upon insecure men. Let me describe one possible reaction. Imagine someone like Joe DiMaggio or Jack Kennedy in the presence of Marilyn Monroe. She is in high heels and a tight-fitting dress with low cleavage, blonde hair is blowing in the wind, she is laughing with sensuous self-satisfaction. She is glamorous! The poor guy is toast! He is fascinated and in awe...she is desirable beyond limits...she is unreachable and distant...a veritable goddess of desire...he is worthless by comparison...it matters not that he is a power-hitter or the most powerful politician in the world...it matters not that he is handsome, smart, athletic, or charismatic...he is nothing, he is emasculated, he is powerless, he is worthless before such a goddess! He wants only to kneel before her in adoration, kiss her feet,and lose himself in a mutual gaze! Such glamour is emasculating, magical, and idolatrous! But let's consider a different scenario: a case of elegance, charm and beauty within the limits of modesty, truth, humility, serenity and charity. Gregory Peck is in the presence of the Audrey Hepburn Princess in Roman Holiday: he is enchanted, but also ennobled, humbled, inspired, and encouraged in his own virility and goodness by her exquisite innocence, purity and loveliness. This is beauty and glamour as iconic, as heavenly, as Joy!

The Pill, the Pope, the Bishops and Boldness

The best defense is a strong offence! The Church has been weak, defensive, and lacking courage and boldness in its fight for religious freedom against the Obamacare contraceptive mandate. Specifically, we have failed to aggressively attack the atrocity of contraception! Contraception is a disaster...but no one talks about it. The pill is poison for the feminine body. Recently, waiting in an ER room I read in a health magazine (bereft of moral consciousness other than "nature-awareness") that in addition to blood clots, cancer and the rest, we now know that sustained time on The Pill systematically and cumulatively diminishes about 40 or so essential nutrients in the woman's body. Your multivitamin will not replace these! Contraception is a CATASTROPHE...for the woman, the relationship, the family, the culture and the society. But the Obama-Clinton-Sibelius-Pelosi regime worships before it and indignantly demands that every Georgetown law student has an innate right to tax-payer funded "protection." The bishops have been a big disappintment: they have argued on the grounds of religious liberty only and have not attacked the substantive issue of why we oppose contraception. They have granted the high ground to the contraceptors (Even the name sounds bad!. They have given the impression that our objection is without substance, a pious preference, an eccentric and archaic holdover from the past. Pope Francis is even worse: if the bishops are in retreat, he is stampeding away from the battle with his flippant comments. We can only assume that he is as clueless about the USA as his comments indicate. Attack mode may not win this culture war but at least people will know what we stand for. It is called witness.Where are our heroic, virile, forceful bishops... like those who opposed communism in Eastern Europe and the Protestant establishment in America a hundred years ago?