Saturday, November 18, 2023

Reverence for the Indelible, Priestly Character (Seal) of the "Ex-Priest"

 "Ex-Priest" is in quotes because there is no such thing; it is an oxymoron: "You are a priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek." Once a priest, always a priest. Holy Orders (of deacon, priest, bishop) give an indelible character or seal that permanently marks the priest. It can never be removed. Laicization canonically allows the priest to function like a lay person: marry and so forth. It removes clerical obligations (celibacy, daily prayer of the Church), permissions (to administer the sacraments); but the interior charism, seal and power remain...forever.  The soul, the interiority, of the man is configured to Christ, to represent him in a privileged manner as bridegroom of the Church.

The poet Peguy has God saying of himself: "When you have been a father, you can only be a father." This can be read on many levels, including the priesthood. But by analogy, consider natural paternity and maternity. Fathering or mothering a child permanently, decisively changes the interior person, even more substantially (in my view) than does marriage itself. This is a mystery that cannot be elucidated or explained, but is intuitive to every mother and father. Every relationship I have is structured by my paternity; I see it even more clearly in the mother of our children. Likewise, if we encounter a woman who is widow, mother, grandmother...we encounter a distinctive mystery, an inner character, spiritual although not entirely sacramental, which we revere. Likewise, in a virgin we sense a privation that is positive as purity, innocence, promise.

Another analogy: a veteran, especially one who has deployed as in Vietnam or Iraq. This person has an invisible badge of honor: we give our thanks for the service. Such enjoy among each other a distinctive camaraderie. We grant them a specific respect. Something similar is granted one who has been mayor, governor, Olympian, Nobel or Oscar winner. In the Church we have consecrated religious, hermits, missionaries. Even as the achievement or engagement is in the past tense, there endures a moral, spiritual, psychological badge of honor.

In our time, however, we have faced a sensitive dilemma in regard to the laicized priest as well as the religious dispensed from solemn vows. As my (boomer) generation entered our early adulthood, there was a flood of those leaving priesthood and religious life. Some were licitly laicized or dispensed, some not. But the thing was widespread and accepted quietly. An unspoken taboo was instituted: we don't talk about this. It is secretive. Very sensitive. Just ignore the indelible character and the solemn vow. So we pretend it is not there. We relate to the ex-priest and ex-religious as if they are normal. But they are really not interiorly lay people, they carry an interior character. (The vow is distinct from the sacramental seal which we treat here.) They cannot be lay anymore than a mother can be virgin (excepting Mary), or an Olympian an ordinary athlete, or a veteran an ordinary civilian.

And so, for the last half century, we have lived with this fact without ever talking about it, (except with my spouse.) So maybe it is time for us all to come out of the closet. 

This priestly character has no empirical signs. All variety of (only) men carry it. It entails the power to administer the sacraments of Eucharist and Penance. In an emergency, death, the ex-priest has permission to validly and licitly hear confession and give absolution. Otherwise, he has the power, but not the permission, to confect the Eucharist. My friend, ex-Catholic-priest who now is an Episcopalian priest, presides over an Anglican Eucharist that is valid, but not licit. Complicated!

Father Benedict Groeschel once said that the priestly seal brings grace, charism, power but also a responsibility so that the sinful priest incurs deeper guilt. That is not a pleasant thought, but it does highlight the gravity of this interior seal.

What is this seal? It is a configuration to Christ as priest, prophet and king. This person carries, anonymously, a resemblance to Christ, interiorly, that cannot be erased. It is like your resemblance to your parents that is indelible. And so, this man carries, mysteriously, even beyond the baptism/confirmation character, an extraordinary power to bring others to God and God to others, to speak a Word from heaven, to govern with heavenly grace. We cannot empirically define this. It is mysterious. But it is real. And in truth we acknowledge and revere it.t

In my own life I cherish two family members and four dear friends with this character. They vary greatly: three married, one a father, two (I think) laicized, one an Episcopalian priest, two quietly and humbly practicing the Catholic faith as proscribed, one extraordinarily fruitful in ministry to the mentally ill and homeless, two fierce 12-steppers, one a serious student of theology and conversation partner, two serving the suffering in psychology and social work. All are dear to me. All are admirable in different ways. All are charming, intelligent, generous, flawed, spiritually deep, fun and funny. 

There is an undeniable element of sorrow, for a Catholic, in the "loss of a priestly vocation." The priesthood is so precious to the Church that we do grieve when a priest leaves. Unfortunately, we have no "wake service." We have no ritual to communally process the loss. This must be especially difficult for brother priests. 

Yet, God's ways are mysterious. It is clear so often that God wills the man to move on into a lay life of holiness and service. But even here...in marriage, fatherhood, career, controversy...the man brings a particular depth of resemblance to Christ. 

I have pondered this reality for many years. More recently, anticipating this blog essay, I have been considering these six men: so different, so fascinating, so deep, so puzzling, so admirable, so endearing. I have initiated a new mini-litany ( I love my litanies) after my prayer for priests I know, I also pray for these six intriguing icons of Christ.



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