Silent, humble, contrite, desperate for the mercy of God, the non-communicant remains kneeling while everyone at mass goes to receive communion. This may be the most poignant, touching, sobering and inspiring sight in our shared Catholic life.
The Eucharist-attending-but-not-communicating is at mass out of love for Christ in the Blessed Sacrament of the altar, out of desire for God, apparently with contrition, but blocked from receiving by some impediment or sense of unworthiness. We don't know why. It could be a minor issue (like a forgetful donut and coffee within the hour of fasting) or scrupulosity, but very often it is a marriage-related situation: divorce and remarriage, cohabitation/contraception, entrapment in sexual or other compulsivity.
Here especially the objective/subjective distinction is crucial. An objective irregularity does not necessarily indicate an interior state of sin. One caught in an objective disorder may conceivably be living in a tortured but authentic holiness. Only God can judge the heart and soul. I often think that that quiet, serious non-communicant may well be in deep sanctity while many of us receiving deceive ourselves with self-satisfaction. The humble "spiritual communion" may be more deep, passionate and abiding than the actual, corporeal communions of all the rest of us. It calls to mind the Canaanite woman, persistent-humble-faith-filled, who responded to the rejection and insult of Christ ("are we to give the children's food to the dogs?) steadily ("even the dogs receive some crumbs.")
And yet, for the good of the person and the Church, protocols and rules must be observed. The compliance with abstinence is, thus, an act of humility and penitence that benefits all of us. How desperately we need such gestures. This past week was Ash Wednesday: how refreshing to see those dark cruciform ashes on the foreheads of acquaintances, strangers and even celebrities on TV. Together we recall: yes we are indeed sinners, in need of repentance, desperate for God's mercy.
In the wake of our priest sex scandal, I hoped that we would hear of groups of priests and bishops implicated publicly confessing and vowing to a life of penance: quiet prayer and mortification, in a monastery, in reparation for the harm done. I do know of individual, anonymous cases of priests living such lives removed now from the public. But it would have been encouraging to see a public witness. I know of no such thing. We need that.
When I was an altar boy, late 1950s, I was mystified by my Uncle Charlie. He would be at 6:30 AM daily mass on cold February/March mornings of Lent, but would not receive communion. This made no sense to me; I could not imagine why he abstained. He was a standup guy! Salt of the earth! Worked as a carpenter in the cold all day and enjoyed the warmth of a few drinks at night. Good husband, father and uncle to me. Very, very good sense of humor. Hollywood handsome in the WWII picture of him in uniform. Then at the age of 13 I learned why.
Might be the strongest memory of my childhood and early adolescence. I was going up to bed when I heard my parents mention the date of his marriage to my Aunt Marian: something like 1950 or so. I turned and corrected them: you must mean 1940 because my two older cousins were born in the early 1940s. They looked seriously at each other; nodded their heads and told me to sit down, that they had something to tell me. They calmly explained that those cousins were children of my aunt's first marriage to a man who was unfaithful. Since this was a divorce and second marriage without annulment they could not receive communion. I said "Oh." I was more than shocked.
By the time I got into my pajamas and under the blankets I was weeping uncontrollably. My body was shaking. I had never wept so powerfully before; I have not since; I doubt that I will in the future.
I was not angry or judgmental: not of them, not of the Church. Innocently I accepted it as a heartbreaking fact, without blame involved. At the age of 13 I don't recall being very pious or affectionate as a nephew; but looking back I see that I did passionately love the Eucharist and my Uncle Charlie. That he would come there, early on cold mornings, in faith-humility-devotion, and be impeded from receiving was heartbreaking for my innocent, Catholic sensibility.
There is a good ending to the story. Within about a decade, I learned that that previous marriage had been annulled. Their marriage was validated in the Church; they returned to the sacramental life; and died in the good graces of the Church.
And so, the small group of participant-but-not-receiving Catholics are exemplary and edifying, whatever the objective irregularity or even the interior torment. We need them and their witness. We might contrast them with the rest of us.
The vast majority, today, of those who still self-identify, as Catholic, neglect Sunday mass altogether. They may not to be to blame: were they properly taught? Did they receive good example? The majority of blame would fall on my own generation, the boomers, who were taught better by our parents, but have largely failed our young. This was not malicious or deliberate; but the consequence of a monumental deception and delusion, the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.
Worse than not attending is the casual, presumptuous reception by some of this group when they do attend mass for a wedding or funeral. This is sacrilegious. Worse still is the defiantly blasphemous reception by those who publicly, militantly reject Church teaching and practice (e.g. the LGBTQ cause) but insist religiously, righteously on their right to communion. Deplorable as well are the clergy who encourage this blasphemy. Again, however, the intentions are not malicious, but sentimental. They flow from defect of the intellect, not the will, from a foundational error and deception.
Those of us who participate in the ordinary way are not without our own problems. We easily fall into habit and routine, distraction, indifference, self-satisfaction and self-indulgence in superficiality, materialism, and success-fueled pride. We need the witness of the non-communicant.
May our Lord bless those who bring themselves so humbly to mass!
May they be reconciled to the Church and returned to the sacraments!
May we who receive be instructed by them in humility, contrition, and reverence!
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