Virtues of Virility

 "Any man who has not plunged himself into the magnitude of the littleness of Christ is not fit to exercise power."    Caryll Houselander

These few words from the incomparable Brit pierce more sharply, profoundly into the perversity of ordinary (which is to say sinful) masculinity than volumes from militant feminism and cultural liberalism. The greatness of these 21 words is that it offers, not just a diagnosis, but a cure; The littleness of the Christ Child that we have been celebrating now for over two week.  

In the light of this luminous insight, I offer that the primary, foundational virtue of noble virility is humility; that the secondary virtues are fortitude and chastity; and that the tertiary are sobriety, serenity, prudence and justice.

HUMILITY is truth, honesty about one's self: one's gifts, strengths, goodness; the splendor of the masculine vocation as son, brother, groom and father; and one's weaknesses, failings, toxicities and perversities. It is this last that is absolutely crucial: accurate acknowledgment of one's inadequacies and sins. The slightest confusion or inaccuracy on this creates a monster. 

We are all of us men like St. Peter: one moment grandiose ("Even if I have to die with you I will never disown you"); the next minute violent (cutting off the ear); and the next cowardly ("I do not know the man.").  The greatness of tri-polar Peter is that he fully owned all of this, in humility, and opened his heart to the Mercy and Love of Christ.

We are each of us prone at any moment to become Herod the Great, megalomaniac murderer of infants, or the Holy Innocents themselves, witnesses in God's grace to the Christ. We are each of us at any moment prone to become Herod Antipas, cowardly adulterer and killer of the Baptist, or the witness-Cousin himself, fierce-fierceless-chaste-humble herald of Christ.

Humility is the pivotal virtue because the masculine, contrast so sharply with the feminine, has no value or worth interior to itself. Masculinity is entirely representative; it is created to stand for, present, convey Another, a far greater one, God the Father and Christ the Bridegroom and infinite varieties of analogous sacred authority. Virility is a vessel that carries something far greater than itself. It is the temple that encloses the Holy, the altar that contains the precious Body and Blood.

Consider our US Ambassador to Germany: he is not a policy maker, an executive, a legislature, a judge. He is a messenger. He carries the policy and decisions of the President to that country. Were he to start developing and proclaiming his own ideas he would be a contradiction. He is the communicator, nothing more. And so that is the masculine.

My oldest son once told me "I love to wear a uniform." He spent many years a a JAG lawyer with the Army. He was an EMT, a bartender, an altar boy. He now is a father. In all of these he stands for something greater than himself. My younger son teaches religion in a Catholic high school: he is a "doctor" in theology; he is certified; he has been tried and proven; he has immersed himself in the Great Tradition and speaks from it, not merely from his own limited experience and views.  I myself enjoyed many years in the brown uniform of a UPS driver. In that outfit I was something different from myself. I walked into hundreds of businesses and offices as if I were a partner there, fully comfortable and accepted. I was more than my own little self. Today  I am comfortable and confident in several ministries (catechesis, hospital, jail): not because of my own gifts and charm, but because I represent something transcendent, the Church of Christ. I represent!

And so the priest, judge, fireman, soldier, security guard, doctor and lawyer in his suit...all of the above are vested to indicate what they represent, something transcendent and abiding and worthy. How much more does the father...in the family or in the Church..."stand in" for the one True Father, our heavenly Father.

And so the primary task of the masculine journey is the: Deflation of the Ego. The male ego (contrast to the fluid, organic, generous, inclusive, welcoming feminine psyche!) is brittle, fragile, vulnerable, selfish and resistant to surrender and generosity. How can such be infused with light so as to become flexible, generous, porous, generous? The male has to be loved. To be humble is to be loved. To receive unmerited, undeserved goodness and grace. And then become a vessel of such to others. So the path to wholesome, humble virility is...paradoxically...not masculine competence, assertiveness and know-how, but receptivity!

FORITUDE understood as gentle strength and courage is the second crucial masculine virtue. Key here is the conjunction of gentleness with strength: this is the peaceful, calm, confident strength of the good father in his care for the little ones, including the mother. There is nothing shrill, frenetic, resentful, insecure or anxious here; but a deep serenity that conveys security, safety and peace. This includes courage: a certain ferocity and fearlessness in the face of attack of any sort. The man knows his life is to be given away, disposed of, in the service of his family and community. The woman sheds blood in her distinctive way, on behalf of family and new life. The man is prepared to spill his own blood, in the mode of martyr or hero, on the hill or battlefield that is given him. The goal of the young man is not success, affluence, achievement; but self-sacrifice, heroism and nobility in whatever combat or task is required. So we men need always to keep in our attention the witness of the martyrs and heroes.

CHASTITY is purity of heart...freedom, simplicity, sobriety, temperance...in the key arena of sexual desire and emotional/romantic yearnings. It is the inner capacity to see, value, revere, and protect the sanctity of the feminine. This is, for many of us, a lifelong task. Concupiscence, our wounded condition due to original sin, leaves us men especially infected with disordered, often overwhelming physical and psychological urges. The pandemic of pornography that has crept over our society since the 1960s has made things that much worse. Cultural progressivism and theological liberalism is in large part an enormous denial of the need for chastity and the perversity of lust and covetousness. This is a tragedy for our society and our Church. Our young men need to be mentored, encouraged, corrected and challenged to embrace purity of heart and chastity of the body. We Catholics benefit from the unspeakable splendor of the sacrament of Confession; but it is largely unused. The revival of virility basically includes the renewal of chivalry and chastity.

SOBRIETY here goes well beyond freedom from addictions and compulsions to include all that traditionally is understood as temperance: interior moderation, peace and harmony that is free from the intoxicating, confusing and disorienting passions of lust, anger, anxiety, depression, discouragement, jealousy and resentment. Sobriety is a relative emotional serenity that allows the intellect to operate freely, clearly, accurately in the evaluation of often complex and unclear realities. We speak of the "sobriety" of the judge by which we mean a certain realism, objectivity, neutrality and fairness. Such sobriety obviously builds upon humility (as the ego needs are not tyranical) and chastity and leads to the practice of prudence and justice.

SERENITY is the calm, certainty, clarity and security that flows from the prior virtues of sobriety, chastity, courage and humility. It is the peace inherent in genuine fortitude. It is a mysterious graciousness, stability and sense of safety that emanates from the good father. Where does such a good father himself find such serenity? From his own filial intimacy with his heavenly Father, the source of all that is good and true and stable!

PRUDENCE is practical wisdom, identification of the GOOD in the concrete practicalities of any situation, which flows from the prior virtues of serenity, sobriety, chastity, courage and humility. It is practical intelligence, exercised by a will that is not bound by disordered emotion and able to consider patiently all the circumstances of the Reality before it. It is the ability to judge correctly the right, the true, the just and the good of a dramatic, historical event.

JUSTICE flows fluently from the network of virtues already present. Here we do well to recall the memory of the Patriarch Joseph, chaste and wise and forgiving of his brothers, he was able to wisely guide the Pharaoh and exercise stewartship throughout the famine. Likewise, his namesake, St. Joseph, husband of Mary and father of Jesus, was a man of purity, courage, wisdom and responsiveness to the heavenly who protected the mother and child so well.

Let us conclude these considerations by returning to the words of Caryll Houselander about the "littleness of Christ." Here is the key to noble virility. The Christ child is little, humble, responsive, vulnerable, trusting, and above all receptive...of the love flowing from Mary, Joseph, the animals, the shepherds, the Magi, the angels, the Holy Innocents, the Father and the Holy Spirit. From all eternity, Jesus is The Son, absolutely and perfectly and infinitely receptive of the Father in the Spirit. Each of us is destined to emulate this receptivity...in our own unique, concrete lives...in filial trust, delight, obedience...in a humility that surrenders and embraces the courage, purity, sobriety, serenity, prudence and justice of Christ himself and all the saints, martyrs, heroes, patriarchs, doctors and fathers.

 

An Encounter: Stephen Tripp

That I, with my weak memory for names, remember so clearly his, after a random encounter over 50 years ago, indicates that this was not a trivial event.

In the extended, happy, honeymoon period of our marriage, before we received our first born (1971-4) we religiously practiced the sacred American rite of Saturday date night. Mostly we loved to go into "The City" (meaning lower Manhattan): movie, dinner and drinks, maybe stop at a bookstore or an open Church or a Saturday vigil mass.) We were walking up Avenue of the Americas, early evening, when around 9th or 10th street we almost walked over a man laying in the street. Many people were passing; some pausing to look or enquire. But I instinctively knelt down next to him and asked "Are you ok? Do you need help?" It seemed probable it was a drug overdose. I have the idea he could not see me, but not that he was blind. He seemed to immediately like and trust my voice as he grabbed my arm and said "Yes. Please help me." No cell phones than. I don't recall thinking about an ambulance, which would have been the correct protocol. We helped him to his feet and determined to bring him to a hospital. Fortunately, St. Vincents's was just one long block west so we made our way there slowly. He could barely walk on his own but he was not a big man and we were both young and strong so it was not so difficult. The ER declined to evaluate him. His address was not too far: more than a mile, less than two. We slowly accompanied him east on 11th Street a couple of long blocks and then south on, perhaps 3rd or 4th Avenue, quite a few blocks. 

His condition improved as we walked. We now were balancing but not carrying him. We talked pleasantly.. He must have told us he had overdosed. The walk was delightful. Lighthearted, in a heavenly way. The kind of transcendence we often receive from the ordinary flow of life at a really good vacation or funeral or wedding. Lifted out of life: easy, peaceful, delighted. 

As we left him, very grateful and affectionate, I said to myself: "I will never forget Stephen Tripp." And I never have. I wonder if he remembered us.

The High Feminism of Marian Catholicism

Mainstream feminism exploded upon our society in the sixties and has in large part informed our culture since. At its best, it was a liberating and refreshing release of women's energies across the culture, beyond the restrictive, (in my opinion) mostly wholesome and fruitful, limits of the postwar period of 1945-65. At its very best it recognized the feminine genius that enriches us in all areas of life. At its worst, it was the firstborn of the cultural/sexual revolution: an imitation of toxic/dysfunctional machismo as sexually liberational, careerist, techo-fanatic, individualistic. At its very worst, it vacated of any meaning the very concept of femininity, leaving Supreme Court Justice Brown incapable of describing "woman."

By contrast, consider the esteem for femininity inherent in the Catholic cult of Mary, Mother of God. 

The very early and decisive definition of Mary was that she was Mother of God, not merely of Jesus in his humanity. From this flows a litany of maternity: From the cross Jesus entrusts John, representing the Church, to her and establishes her as Mother of the Church. Beyond that, she is considered Queen of Angels and Saints. As such, she is the supreme creation, "nature's solitary boast," the incomparable high point of history and the universe.

Two Catholic dogmas defined authoritatively from the chair of Peter are the Immaculate Conception (1854) and the Assumption (1950). Both are celebrated by holy days of obligation. We see here the Petrine or Papal (which is to say masculine) dimension of the Church deferring in reverence to the holiness of a singular woman. We see clearly that within the Catholic Church the Petrine-priestly-hierarchical-apostolic dimension of the Church is subservient to the Marian, feminine, Church of holiness.

From Genesis we know that she would crush the head of the serpent, Satan, and so by her "fiat" or "yes" at the Annunciation she (cooperating with grace flowing from the subsequent Passover of her Son) decisively defeated (or "pre-defeated") Lucifer and the kingdom of darkness.

The forth of the Marian doctrines (along with the Immaculate Conception, Motherhood of God, and the Assumption) is her perpetual virginity: that she conceived Christ by a miracle of the Holy Spirit, and that she was preserved eternally in her physical virginity with all its spiritual significance. 

An idea congenial and obvious to the Catholic mind, but incoherent/ridiculous/sentimental to the secular intellect, is that of "the Eternal Feminine." In Genesis we see that "male and female He created them." Clearly, the ideas of masculinity/femininity were already in the mind of God prior to his creation of Adam and Eve. Since God is eternal, this form-essence-substance-logos of femininity existed intellectually prior to creation, history and the universe. As a divine idea, it is eternal. The perfect instantiation of the "eternal female" is, of course, the Immaculate One. But every specific woman...however wounded and disordered...is an expression of this "idea of God."

We do not speak of the "eternal masculine."  The masculine, as a form, is inherently inferior, diminished, and largely void of inherent value. The purpose of the masculine, in its very poverty and vacuity, is to represent another: the Father. The feminine, by contrast, is not primarily representative, but holds within herself her own value, preciousness, and worth...for eternity.

The purpose of the masculine is to be poor and humble, to revere the feminine in the mode of the Divine Bridegroom, and to provide and protect, in imitation of the eternal Father, the little ones, in need of such strength and mercy.

When the Father-Son-Holy-Spirit envisioned Creation...infinitely before time, history, or this universe...They fell in love...with the entirety of Creation...but specifically with its climax, the feminine as Mary. No, Jesus is not the high point of creation: he is an anomaly, a hybrid, both God and Man. Within Creation, it is Mary, the woman, who is the goal, the fulfillment, the climax. Jesus is the one who came from heaven to save us from sin and death and bring us into Eternal Life. He is the fireman who storms into the building, kicks down the doors, saves the Woman and her children, and dies heroically. His life is disposable, there to be given away, to save the Woman and her children. 

The Catholic lives an enchanted reality, inaccessible to modernity as cultural liberalism and techno-mania. We move from the comfort of the womb, to that of the breast, into the arms of Mother Church, within a Motherland, always on Mother Earth, which is part of a universe held by the Mother of God.

With Don Quixote, the Catholic man  sees in every woman, however wretched, Dulcinea, a creature of unspeakable loveliness. Yes, this can be in part a hallucination, a projection of insatiable desire. But no, at its heart it is a glimpse of the "eternal feminine" ... of the radiant, even salvific splendor inherent to femininity as created, and then redeemed, in Mary, by God.

In the real world that makes us Catholic men vulnerable to the seduction, the manipulation, the allure of the "femne fatale," the Jezebel, the Sirens, the temptress. No, we cannot blame Adam, or Ahab, or so many who have surrendered to temptation.  It is the weakness of the male and the inherent enchantment of the feminine that set up this dangerous drama. The strongest antidote to this temptation is, of course, closeness to the feminine in it integrity, dignity and holiness: that is, close, chaste, enduring friendship with good, holy women.  Here I pause to make a personal boast: I doubt there is a man on earth who has been so well loved by so many good, lovely, holy women as have I. I think God realized I needed this, as my personal weakness is so pronounced.

This is why I must praise and honor the Beauty, the Truth and the Goodness of the feminine: in our Mother, the ever-Virgin Mary, and in so so so many women close to me!