Virtues of Virility

 "Any man who has not plunged himself into the magnitude of the littleness of Christ is not fit to exercise power."    Caryll Houselander

These few words from the incomparable Brit pierce more sharply, profoundly into the perversity of ordinary (which is to say sinful) masculinity than volumes from militant feminism and cultural liberalism. The greatness of these 21 words is that it offers, not just a diagnosis, but a cure; The littleness of the Christ Child that we have been celebrating now for over two week.  

In the light of this luminous insight, I offer that the primary, foundational virtue of noble virility is humility; that the secondary virtues are fortitude and chastity; and that the tertiary are sobriety, serenity, prudence and justice.

HUMILITY is truth, honesty about one's self: one's gifts, strengths, goodness; the splendor of the masculine vocation as son, brother, groom and father; and one's weaknesses, failings, toxicities and perversities. It is this last that is absolutely crucial: accurate acknowledgment of one's inadequacies and sins. The slightest confusion or inaccuracy on this creates a monster. 

We are all of us men like St. Peter: one moment grandiose ("Even if I have to die with you I will never disown you"); the next minute violent (cutting off the ear); and the next cowardly ("I do not know the man.").  The greatness of tri-polar Peter is that he fully owned all of this, in humility, and opened his heart to the Mercy and Love of Christ.

We are each of us prone at any moment to become Herod the Great, megalomaniac murderer of infants, or the Holy Innocents themselves, witnesses in God's grace to the Christ. We are each of us at any moment prone to become Herod Antipas, cowardly adulterer and killer of the Baptist, or the witness-Cousin himself, fierce-fierceless-chaste-humble herald of Christ.

Humility is the pivotal virtue because the masculine, contrast so sharply with the feminine, has no value or worth interior to itself. Masculinity is entirely representative; it is created to stand for, present, convey Another, a far greater one, God the Father and Christ the Bridegroom and infinite varieties of analogous sacred authority. Virility is a vessel that carries something far greater than itself. It is the temple that encloses the Holy, the altar that contains the precious Body and Blood.

Consider our US Ambassador to Germany: he is not a policy maker, an executive, a legislature, a judge. He is a messenger. He carries the policy and decisions of the President to that country. Were he to start developing and proclaiming his own ideas he would be a contradiction. He is the communicator, nothing more. And so that is the masculine.

My oldest son once told me "I love to wear a uniform." He spent many years a a JAG lawyer with the Army. He was an EMT, a bartender, an altar boy. He now is a father. In all of these he stands for something greater than himself. My younger son teaches religion in a Catholic high school: he is a "doctor" in theology; he is certified; he has been tried and proven; he has immersed himself in the Great Tradition and speaks from it, not merely from his own limited experience and views.  I myself enjoyed many years in the brown uniform of a UPS driver. In that outfit I was something different from myself. I walked into hundreds of businesses and offices as if I were a partner there, fully comfortable and accepted. I was more than my own little self. Today  I am comfortable and confident in several ministries (catechesis, hospital, jail): not because of my own gifts and charm, but because I represent something transcendent, the Church of Christ. I represent!

And so the priest, judge, fireman, soldier, security guard, doctor and lawyer in his suit...all of the above are vested to indicate what they represent, something transcendent and abiding and worthy. How much more does the father...in the family or in the Church..."stand in" for the one True Father, our heavenly Father.

And so the primary task of the masculine journey is the: Deflation of the Ego. The male ego (contrast to the fluid, organic, generous, inclusive, welcoming feminine psyche!) is brittle, fragile, vulnerable, selfish and resistant to surrender and generosity. How can such be infused with light so as to become flexible, generous, porous, generous? The male has to be loved. To be humble is to be loved. To receive unmerited, undeserved goodness and grace. And then become a vessel of such to others. So the path to wholesome, humble virility is...paradoxically...not masculine competence, assertiveness and know-how, but receptivity!

FORITUDE understood as gentle strength and courage is the second crucial masculine virtue. Key here is the conjunction of gentleness with strength: this is the peaceful, calm, confident strength of the good father in his care for the little ones, including the mother. There is nothing shrill, frenetic, resentful, insecure or anxious here; but a deep serenity that conveys security, safety and peace. This includes courage: a certain ferocity and fearlessness in the face of attack of any sort. The man knows his life is to be given away, disposed of, in the service of his family and community. The woman sheds blood in her distinctive way, on behalf of family and new life. The man is prepared to spill his own blood, in the mode of martyr or hero, on the hill or battlefield that is given him. The goal of the young man is not success, affluence, achievement; but self-sacrifice, heroism and nobility in whatever combat or task is required. So we men need always to keep in our attention the witness of the martyrs and heroes.

CHASTITY is purity of heart...freedom, simplicity, sobriety, temperance...in the key arena of sexual desire and emotional/romantic yearnings. It is the inner capacity to see, value, revere, and protect the sanctity of the feminine. This is, for many of us, a lifelong task. Concupiscence, our wounded condition due to original sin, leaves us men especially infected with disordered, often overwhelming physical and psychological urges. The pandemic of pornography that has crept over our society since the 1960s has made things that much worse. Cultural progressivism and theological liberalism is in large part an enormous denial of the need for chastity and the perversity of lust and covetousness. This is a tragedy for our society and our Church. Our young men need to be mentored, encouraged, corrected and challenged to embrace purity of heart and chastity of the body. We Catholics benefit from the unspeakable splendor of the sacrament of Confession; but it is largely unused. The revival of virility basically includes the renewal of chivalry and chastity.

SOBRIETY here goes well beyond freedom from addictions and compulsions to include all that traditionally is understood as temperance: interior moderation, peace and harmony that is free from the intoxicating, confusing and disorienting passions of lust, anger, anxiety, depression, discouragement, jealousy and resentment. Sobriety is a relative emotional serenity that allows the intellect to operate freely, clearly, accurately in the evaluation of often complex and unclear realities. We speak of the "sobriety" of the judge by which we mean a certain realism, objectivity, neutrality and fairness. Such sobriety obviously builds upon humility (as the ego needs are not tyranical) and chastity and leads to the practice of prudence and justice.

SERENITY is the calm, certainty, clarity and security that flows from the prior virtues of sobriety, chastity, courage and humility. It is the peace inherent in genuine fortitude. It is a mysterious graciousness, stability and sense of safety that emanates from the good father. Where does such a good father himself find such serenity? From his own filial intimacy with his heavenly Father, the source of all that is good and true and stable!

PRUDENCE is practical wisdom, identification of the GOOD in the concrete practicalities of any situation, which flows from the prior virtues of serenity, sobriety, chastity, courage and humility. It is practical intelligence, exercised by a will that is not bound by disordered emotion and able to consider patiently all the circumstances of the Reality before it. It is the ability to judge correctly the right, the true, the just and the good of a dramatic, historical event.

JUSTICE flows fluently from the network of virtues already present. Here we do well to recall the memory of the Patriarch Joseph, chaste and wise and forgiving of his brothers, he was able to wisely guide the Pharaoh and exercise stewartship throughout the famine. Likewise, his namesake, St. Joseph, husband of Mary and father of Jesus, was a man of purity, courage, wisdom and responsiveness to the heavenly who protected the mother and child so well.

Let us conclude these considerations by returning to the words of Caryll Houselander about the "littleness of Christ." Here is the key to noble virility. The Christ child is little, humble, responsive, vulnerable, trusting, and above all receptive...of the love flowing from Mary, Joseph, the animals, the shepherds, the Magi, the angels, the Holy Innocents, the Father and the Holy Spirit. From all eternity, Jesus is The Son, absolutely and perfectly and infinitely receptive of the Father in the Spirit. Each of us is destined to emulate this receptivity...in our own unique, concrete lives...in filial trust, delight, obedience...in a humility that surrenders and embraces the courage, purity, sobriety, serenity, prudence and justice of Christ himself and all the saints, martyrs, heroes, patriarchs, doctors and fathers.