Our Lord Jesus Christ: Lover of Women

I have come to see our Lord Jesus Christ as the absolute, perfect lover of women. He is, after all, the Bridegroom to His bride the Church...a title that is largely ignored by most of us. He loves us, his bride, with a love that is uber-virile, ultra-masculine, infinitely-paternal, and endlessly gentle, sensitive, strong, tender, heroic, brotherly, and husbandly. His personal love for me, a man, is husbandly and mine for him, even in my own masculinity, is always primarily bridal-feminine in that it is receptive, responsive, inviting, welcoming, and grateful. This reality is deep, mystical and not easily accessible to the average guy. What is more concrete, practical and realistic though is the fact that Jesus himself loved women so marvelously. It is endlessly inspiring to contemplate his relationships (a good word, relationship): the woman caught in adultery, the one who washed his feet with her hair, Mary and Martha, the polyandrist Samaritaness, Veronica, the women at the foot of the cross, and of course, his mother. His love is reverent, chaste, appreciative, supportive, generous, pure,steadfast, admiring, sensitive,and gentle yet strong. He is blissfully free of disrespect, possessiveness, domination, lust, resentment, covetousness, and insensitivity. He is NOT like the rest of us men. And so, especially when I eat His body and drink His blood, I ask him to fill me with this marvelous love for women.

Hell...and a Virile Faith

In pondering the important reality of hell, three sets of polarities have to be held in tension and balance. First, God's Mercy, his immense and unconditional desire for the salvation of every single person, must be answered by his justice, wrath, holiness and absolute rejection of sin. Secondly, our freedom of choice, our free will, must be countered by awareness of the weakness, determinations and limitations of our nature, rooted in our body and the condition of sin...which is to say, our misery. Our spiritual and theological culture has come to emphaize the mercy of God in response to our misery. This is a positive development. For example, we bury suicide victims with full Eucharistic hope in awareness of the suffering and diminished culpability of intellect and will and of God's overwhelming love. But our culture has also come to avoid and deny, implicitly if not explicitly, the justice, wrath and holiness of God and our own responsibility by virtue of our free will. This imbalance can be understood as a domination of a feminine over the masculine dimension of spirituality. The maternal impulse is one of nurture, comfort, understanding, affirmation, unconditional acceptance and inclusion. This is the spirit of our age. The masculine spirit more strongly inclines to transcendence, judgment (which is a bad word in today's world), holiness, demands, conflict, separation, accountability, justice and retribution (a terrible word in today's world). Mention of hell invokes images of a cruel God, of pity for the damned, of an desperate demand that ALL be included in salvation, of a realization of the pain and limitations of those who are victimized by their own choices. This reaction indicates an imbalance of the maternal over the paternal. It was not always so. For example, traditional Catholic mariology looks to our Lady for mercy and comfort as a balance to the harsh but sanctifying standards of the Father and his Son. A balance of mercy and justice is thus set. Ralph Martin, in his critique of Balthasar, appears to be balancing the equation. He appreciatively quotes Balthasar's affirmation that the two streams in Scripture, on the mercy and on judgmental wrath, need to be held in tension without either being evaporated. Martin argues that the Swiss genius did not succeed in keeping that balance. The later's theology of the descent into hell and hope for a depopulated hell appear to have come largely from the Holy Saturday mystical experiences of Adrienne Von Speyr. These need careful scrutiny by the Church. They are quite different and may reflect a mixture of the human and divine: in her case, a deeply feminine nature is painfully vulnerable to the suffering of Christ and his thirst for souls. But it is possible that her confessor and theological collaborator did not bring a masculine balance. Perhaps here the "marian" overwhelmed the "petrine" or, more accurately, was not fully surrendered to God our Father. If so, he is not the only man who has failed to bring a strong but gentle, corrective but affirmative, protective but empowering paternity to an exquisite, sensitive, compassionate feminity.

Hell

Hell. I am thinking a lot about hell. Truthfully: since Vatican II, hell is not a reality for us. No one really talks about, preaches about or seriously thinks about hell. It is a taboo subject: the "null curriculum" of our culture. Most of us believe in heaven and presume (important word: presume) that we are all going there...with a few possible exceptions like Hitler. Even my own beloved, ultra-Catholic Von Balthasar affirms the creed about hell but radically reconfigures it with his hope that Jesus, by his literal descent into the hell of the damned, has triumphed in his mercy and won for heaven even those damned by their own choice in this life. Ralph Martin, in Will Many Be Saved? is theologically "incorrect" in a bold and fearless way as he talks about a real, vital, populated hell. He argues persuasively that revelation, scripture, Jesus' own words, tradition, the magisterium and the witness of the saints are unanimous, unambiguous, definite, unflinching, and lucid: there is a hell, many are going there, and all of us are at risk, including and especially those (I include myself here) who are gifted with rich graces. This is a awesome, quietly terrifying, sobering and salutary thought. It has become fashionable to contrast reverential, loving, filial "fear of the Lord" with "servile fear" but I am thinking that a degree of servile fear (I am afraid of hell, sin, damnation...for myself and others) can complement and fortify the filial kind. As I ponder the reality of hell, I personally feel a dread of sin; an urgency to repent and become holy; a deep and desperate desire for the Holy Spirit; a virile, militant sense of urgency; a sense of vulnerability and need for sacramental support; and a desire to become holy to help others to get away from hell and into heaven. For me at least, such thinking about hell is most helpful. Thank you, Ralph Martin!

St. Ignatius Discerning the Beautiful as Demonic

In his autobiography, St. Ignatius of Loyola relates a most curious experience: "While in this hospice it often happened that in broad daylight he saw something in the air near him. It gave him great consolation because it was very beautiful--remarkably so...He found great pleasure and consolation in seeing this thing and the oftener he saw it the more his consolation grew. When it disappeared, he was displeased." Ignatius thought at first that this was a consolation from God, but later he discerned differently: "There, the vision that had appeared to him many times but which he had never understood, that is, the thing mentioned above which seemed very beautiful to him, with many eyes, now appeared to him But while before the cross, he saw clearly that the object did not have its usual beautiful color, and he knew very clearly with a strong agreement of his will that it was the devil. Later it would often appear to him for a long time; and by way of contempt he dispelled it with a staff he used to carry in his hand." Ignatius of Loyola: The Spiritual Exercises and Selected Works (NY: Paulist Press 1991) pp. 76, 81). As described, there is nothing obviously evil about this apparition: it seems to be neutral. Clearly, it is beautiful, fascinating, pleasing and mesmerizing. It consoles him but then leaves him sad when it departs. Only before the cross, Jesus crucified, does it become clear that this beauty comes from Satan. And Ignatius is very certain and decisive about this. How interesting! Perhaps Satan realized that he could not get to this holy man by the allurements of lust, avarice, or covetousness and so needed to be ever so much more subtle and disguised. So he presents him an object that seems to be neutral morally but dazzlingly lovely. My thought is that the thing of Beauty, unconnected to God, the Good or the True, is itself so fascinating, distracting, consuming and consoling that it can, eventually, lead away from God. Only before the crucified Jesus was its final purpose and nature unveiled. This is a sobering thought: that Beauty is supernaturally powerful. It seems that Beauty, with its immense power to move the human heart, soul, intellect and will...cannot be neutral with regard to its origin and goal...it must be iconic, pointing beyond itself to Absolute Beauty; or idolatrous, drawing us to the counterfeit, away from Real Beauty. How crucial it is that we cultivate our sense of beauty; that we be vigilant about what attracts, pleases and fascinates us!

More Than Satisfied: Incredulously, Deleriously, Insanely Delighted...with The Church

Is there something wrong with me? Seems like everyone, progressives for sure but also many conservatives, are dissatisfied with and indignant at the Church: "need for reform, change, reform of the reform, modernization, anti-modernization" and so forth. I could not disagree more! I am deleriously, intoxicatingly, insanely, viscerally in love with the Church, just as She is. Well, what is the Church? It is NOT the curia, the papacy, the chancery, or the parish. It is three things. Essentially, it is the Bride of Christ, the Communion of Saints: it is our union with Christ our Bridegroom-Savior-Lord-Brother and our union with each other, our Blessed Mother, the saints and angels, and the rest of us. This "abiding"...this "communio"...this relationship, or web of relationships...is just perfect as it is. No wonder the theology of a different age spoke of "the perfect society." There is here a surplus, an abundance, an extravagance that all the human efforts in the entire history of the race cannot improve one iota. Secondly, the Church is a hospital for sinners. It is the place where our Lord ministers His mercy to our misery. If you walk into a Church and you see incompetence, disorganization, mediocrity, disunity, hatred, ignorance, and fear...You know you are at the right place, if you are yourself a sinner...You are right at home...You can take a deep breath, relax, and be your miserable, sinful self. Lastly, the Church is our infallible teacher and our efficacious sacrament of grace. She CANNOT err; she CANNOT fail in dispensing of the Mysteries. She is Absolute Perfection: Heaven on Earth. And so, I am absolutely, without ambivalence, content with our Mother the Church. My discontent is with myself. I do not live up to my identity...I do not deeply abide and bear fruit. I fail to reflect the fullness, the overflowing love, the perfection that is the heart of the Church...the radiance and fruitfulness shown in our Lady and the saints. My discontent is also with ourselves: we do not fully abide and therefore fail to bear fruit. But I am more than content with the Church: She is sheer perfection!

Cursing the Party

I curse the Democratic Party. This is not a matter of political disagreement or opinion; it is far deeper than that. Viscerally, morally, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, socially, financially...I despise, I loathe, I renounce and I curse to hell the Democratic Party. To be clear: it is not the Democratic Party of my youth (1947-70) that I curse. That was a force for good as it defended the worker, the poor, minorities and exemplified Catholic social teaching, including an implicit defense of innocent life and the family. It is the Party of my adult life that I curse. Like a Jew curses Nazism or an Afro-American the KKK does this Catholic curse The Party. There is a special emotional and personal intensity to my hatred because I so loved the party in my youth and was so betrayed in my early adulthood. Nor do I curse any person who is a Democrat as I distinguish between the person and his misguided, even evil allegiance. I respect and like the Clintons, Obamas, and Bidens just as I might very well respect, like and even love a Nazi, Commie, bigot or Islamist if I knew one. I don't know any of that later group, but I know plenty of Democrats. Where I live (Jersey City) Democrats are probably more than 99% of the voting population. At least half of those I most love and respect pledge allegiance to the Dark Side on the cultural issues of defenseless life and the cultural sanctity of sex and family. That such good, intelligent, practicing Catholics and others can actively support the agenda of death is the most troubling, mystifying reality of my lifetime. That such moral blindness can descend upon good people remains always, for me, a source of shame, consternation and sadness. I think about the heritage I will leave behind me. At my funeral, how will memory of my life affect family and friends? My hope is that they will be somehow strengthened in their love for Christ and His Church, in devotion to family, to marriage or vocation, and to care of the weakest. And over my grave, I hope that they will quietly, serenely, and confidently whisper a curse on the Party of Death.

The Fractured Male Psyche

With the Boston Marathon bomber we again see the propensity of the fractured male psyche for a hidden, secret life. Friends, family, coaches and those closest to Dzhokhar Tsarnaev are completely mystified: no one detected signs that he was capable of such violence. By now we are used to the hidden life: priest pedophiles (but never nun molestors), Opus-Dei-FBI-spies, policemen-criminals, and so forth. My own uncle was in military intellence for most of his life but withheld this information from his closest family members even when he was dying. His spy life was entirely opaque, closed off to and untouched by his family life. All my uncles fought in WWII but they didn't speak about it: it was a different world. We now know that there are morphological, neurological bases for this in the male brain: fewer connecting neurons between brain areas so that the sectors are disconnected from each other, in contrast with the integrated, synthesized, and organically harmonious female brain. But more important than that is the unavoidable, inexorable gender abyss. Boys and girls are both conceived in, born from, nursed by, and raised by mother. The developing female never leaves this world. She imitates, echoes and images her mother and never fully separates. Not so with the boy. By the age of two, he is already spending most of his day in a world entirely incomprehensible and inaccessible to Mom: the terrain of super heros, Jedi knights, pirates, and other aggressive, malicious, combatative villains and heros. Mom has no clue about the nature of this world: she observes benignly, externally, absolutely denied participation and comprehension. Just recently I have been informed by two different, intelligent women that war is always about food: even viewing of The Godfather or Goodfellows is unlikely to illuminate them as their brain seems to be constituionally incapable of understanding the masculine nature of war. School is a continuation of mom's world (alma mater) and we see that girls do much better in that quintessentially feminine ambience. But by adolescence things really heat up for the boys. The dynamics of fist fights, bullying, gangs, competition, sarcasm, and aggression challenge and intimidate and the youngster is on his own: mom, teacher and school are useless on this battleground. Even worse: overwhelming sexual urges erupt from the testosterone volcanoe and with them bring urgent desire, fascination, shame and confusion and an entire drama that must be completely shielded from the eyes of mother. So the adolescent male finds himself alone with an under-devloped intellect and an insecured identity as he navigates three different worlds: the Good Boy" maternal environment of home and school; the battleground of conflict; and the maddening, intoxicating delerium of sexual desire. The last two easily collude to undermine the maternal influence. And so, the typical male is an unstable tri-part system with very weak, loose connections: the superego, the sexual beast, and the embattled combatant in a hostile world which must be fled or fought. Most of us are walking around on the verge of some kind of explosion or breakdown: the right combination of stresses, contradictions, frustrations and opportunities and we fall into violence, quiet despair, or sexual depravity. So how is the young man to confront these threatening worlds that are opaque to each other? How is he to integrate and channel his energies and longings? The key is: the Paternal Presence! I do not say "Father" here because I am referring to three distinct, but interconnected realities: the actual or surrogate Dad; the symbolic, cultural realm which I will designate as "Patriarchy" (to be mischevously anti-feminist); and our heavenly Father himself. Dad and God our Father have a clarity about themselves, but here we will deal with the "Patriarchy" understood in the very best sense. Like Dad and God, the cultural or spiritual patriarchy is a loving, transcendent, personal presence that descends, from a distant, awesome, superior realm, to the young boy to uplift, protect, challenge, discipline, encourage, correct, strengthen, and inspire. Patriarchy is the domain of law, discipline, tradition, authority, hierarchy, instruction, ordination, certification, testing, standards, risk, danger and empowerment. It is distinctively not that warm, nurturing, enclosing, affirming, comforting, inclusive, accepting and unconditionally loving maternal womb from which we emerge and to which we are so stronly drawn. It is the Father (Dad, cultural patrimony, God) who will coach, guide, train, and groom the young man...will elicit his loyalty and within that greater love synthesize all energies and desires...will prepare him for combat and model for him the splendor and tenderness of genuine sexual affection. It is heartbreaking to read that prior to the bombing, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev tweated: "I miss my father." He needed his own father, he needed the guidance of a genuine paternal culture and religion, he needed to truly know his heavenly Father. But the void of fatherlessness, for the male, will not remain neutral: it will be filled with a surrogate...usually a deathly one.

Absent, yet Present...Present, yet Absent

For years I have wondered: after the words of consecration in the Eucharist, we know that Jesus is actually, physically present under the appearance of bread and wind but our proclamation of faith does not state this, but seems to contradict it: "We proclaim your death and profess your resurrection, O Lord, until you come again." We affirm that he came in the past, that he will come in the future, but we overtly do NOT affirm his presence now. By implication, we seem to affirm his absence. If I told you my friend came to see me yesterday and will come tomorrow, wouldn't you assume that he is not with me at the moment? Von Balthasar's magisterial "On Prayer" instructs me on the eschatological tension: Our Lord is present as absent. He is here, even as he is not yet here. He is to come, but is already here, really, proleptically or in promise. We rest contentedly in his presence, even as we long for him that much more. He is absent because of our sin; he is absent because our world is plagued with suffering, evil, death, guilt and dread. He is really present, but in the most unobtrusive, anonymous, hidden manner: as a thin, white, tasteless, quiet wafer; as the slightest sip. He is present discretely, enticingly, as he engages us, seduces us, arouses us, inspires us. He is present as absent; and absent as present. Welcome, Lord Jesus! Come, Lord Jesus!

Loyalty

Loyalty: is virile, fierce, steadfast, honorable, courageous, aggressive, protective, self-confident, serene, reliable, forgiving,powerful and yet gentle. Loyalty is everything. Loyalty, in contrast to integrity, is always to a concrete person: this specific king, captain, spouse or friend. Integrity involves moral principles...it is complementary to loyalty. We have become too familiar with corrupted forms of loyalty that violate integrity: police, mobsters or clergymen covering up for the misdeeds of their friends. Such is less than genuine since it violates another loyalty: to the innocent victim of the misdeed. Yet, if forced to chose between integrity and loyalty (which we really never would be), I could not opt for integrity without loyalty since such would be isolated, lonely, moralistic. Loyalty is primary...loyalty infused with integrity...but loyalty first and always. Loyalty: always to a concrete person. Loyalty, first, to our Lord Jesus, and His Father, in the Holy Spirit. Loyalty, next, according to my unique, specific, concrete state in life: this spouse, family, community, boss, and friend. In the Church, thirdly, my loyalty is to this very specific, concrete, limited, imperfect and even sinful pastor, bishop and pope. It is always personal. Inexorably, the prelate thrust at me is a frustration: too progressive or too traditional; too enthusiastic or too staid; out of control or overly controlling; lethargic or hyper-active. But my loyalty is always to a person: not my own spirituality, ideology, theology or style of worship. Jesus himself, Augustine reminds us, did not withhold the kiss of peace from his betrayer, one of the original twelve. Jesus was loyal to us to death, when we tortured and murdered him. Ignatius of Antioch, one of the very earliest post-apostolic writers, exhorts us to gather around the bishop, priests and deacons...the hierarchy, specific individuals with all their warts. Ignatius of Loyola, following his fellow knight and role-model Francis of Assisi, insists on a very passionate, personal allegiance to the bishop of Rome...without conditions about his theology, piety, politics or ideology. Especially today, with our pope, bishops and priests under attack from all directions, let us renew our allegiance, fidelity, support and obedience for these very specific, imperfect persons. God bless them all!