The Charism of Silliness

Spiritual writers commonly warn against the dangers of silliness. The dictionary describes it as foolish, trivial, superficial, zany, nonsensical, crazy, irrational and generally a lack of common sense, good judgment and responsibility. Not a pretty picture! Nevertheless, I strongly agree with St. Philip Neri who demonstrated it as a charism, a marker of transcendence and interior freedom, a distinctive delight of the Kingdom of God. As always, the etymology throws light on the deeper realtiy: the Middle English "seli" means blessed, innocent and hapless and comes from the Old English "gesilig" meaning blessed. So, St. Philip was on to something: there is something blessed about being silly. In its pure form...free of resentment, rebellion, cynicism...it is a form of joy and freedom. Genuine silliness has an interior, hidden logic of its own and awakens surprise, delight and laughter. It is a release, a transcendence of the burdens of sadness, guilt, shame, fear, resentment, lust, pride and all bad things. When we are really being silly we are in a zone of sublimity and lightness, of freedom and spontaneity. It is also a medium of communion with others. Babies and children take great delight in the silly. Grandfathers, especially (in my view) have a special dispensation to be silly with their grandchildren and enjoy the shared delight that flows. It is a healthy thing for adults and children to be silly together. It seems to be more of a masculine charism or virtue...but we will not stereotype as some women are very, very silly and there are men born without a silly bone. This is probably because men suffer more tension...specifically aggressive and sexual tension...and silliness is a release from tension. In the developmental journey of the young man away from his mother's embrace into the world of men and the Kingdom of the Father silliness is a wholesome and harmless way to gain freedom from maternal enclosure. Silliness can be a way to distance oneself from maternal enclosure without giving insult or disrespect. My own mother would say: "you are silly" in a way that was not approving or delighted but not condemnatory or angry. Victory! I made my escape without giving offense. Silliness in the best sense is lightness of heart and mind: it is a relief from moral seriousness, from an oppressive superego, from guilt, from ideological fervor, and from anger and fear. Silliness is utterly distinct and unique and has its own form, logic, essence or gestalt; it cannot be described by anything beyond itself. If you don't know what it is, no one can explain it. But it is closely related to its cousins which include humor, laughter, teasing. Humor has more intellectual or cognitive content while silliness is more subliminal, primal, pre-conscious, anomalous or preternatural. Laughter is the instinctive physical accompaniment to both humor and silliness. Teasing includes an aggressive dimension while silliness is more pure and generous. Silliness is also related to a family of spiritual, even Pentecostal gifts which free the restricted and burdened psyche to relax and exult in the love of God. These include: praying in tongues, holy laughter, sleeping in the spirit, and more ecstatic song and dance in worship. Think David dancing before the Ark! In all these experiences, the deeper self or soul is released from fear, anxiety, restrictions and burdens and exults exuberantly in the love of God. Generally, morality can tend to be oppressive, judgmental and negative; while piety can be sentimental, and lacking in vigor and stamina. These charismatic gifts of spontaneity and exuberance are especially important for the masculine psyche which needs to be lighthearted and buoyant and yet magnanimous, expansive and heroic. Women by nature have more integrated and harmonious psyches and less rigid ego structures and aren't in need of these gifts. Fierce masculine energies related to conflict and sexuality desperately need to find wholesome outlets or else they become bottled-op and repressed and we have wimps or they go wild and we have thugs. Eastern Christianity may have a deeper appreciation for this mystery as we know the Russians honor the tradition of being a "fool for Christ." At least we Romans have St. Philip Neri! If silliness is a special quality of infancy and childhood, it seems to be also a grace for the aging. Early and mid-adulthood is involved with the serious, challenging responsibilities of parenting and work. But the very young and the very old are free from these burdens. They can more fully indulge in the grace of spontaneous, ridiculous, delightful and liberating silliness.