Reversed Gender Roles: Woman as Provider; Man as Scholar, Missionary, Contemplative

In 1946 my parents married: Mom happily retreated from the NYC work world to make a home and raise nine children; Dad worked hard and provided well! They were very happy! They were representative of their cohort, the Great Generation. My wife and I emulated this model for about 30 years. It worked perfectly! We were happy. When I reached the age of 55, just into the new century, we reversed roles: Mary Lynn was making good money, half-time, as a nurse; I left my higher paying job (almost 6 figures) to make one third in service, first as a religion teacher in a Catholic high school and then running boarding homes for low-income money. Her proficiency as a provider freed me for ministry in the Church and community.

I see this second gender model as an emerging, promising model...for many, but certainly not all.

Young women are vastly outperforming men in many arenas: especially in education, also in stability of career and generally in emotional maturity (in regard to identity, commitment, vocation) during early adulthood. If you do not see this, you live in another world from mine!

Many young women are able to nurture the children and provide for the family at the same time. They are amazing! Really!

Many young men are drifting, disoriented in career, reluctant to commit, unhinged in their masculine identity.

I am hoping that the professional competence of our young women might free up some men to, like myself, pursue a vocation in service, including study and prayer as the roots of Christ-centered ministry.

This is a retrieval of older Jewish and Greek traditions. Even today in Orthodox communities it is accepted that men dedicate themselves to prayerful study, sharing and teaching of God's revelation. We read about this in Proverbs and the wisdom literature which praises the industrious wife who provides for the household while the husband "sits with the elders at the gates." In classic Hellenic society, the higher prestige occupation was the politics of the "polis" and the study of philosophy. Practical work of farming, producing and providing was delegated to slaves.

In the pragmatic, technological, materialistic and meritocratic America of  today, of course, everything is valued financially: there are obsessions about "glass ceilings" and the "one percent." Prayer, contemplation, service, and "useless" study are devalued: they don't bring in any money. And so part of this gender adjustment is a deeper, broader transformation of values. With time, of course, women will also evaluate their preoccupation with financial and status equality. They will themselves ambition to grow deeper in prayer, study and service. Activity will yield some status to Receptivity.  If this spreads, it will lead to a drastic decrease in Gross National Product; the economists will panic; and there will be deeper peace and joy on earth!