Maverick Priest

I have always been attracted to and attractive to the "Maverick Priest." I like him and he likes me, immediately. My friend Dan suggests this is because I am myself something of a maverick. Perhaps we recognize intuitively in each other a kindred spirit.

Like all great mysteries, the Maverick Priest defies definition. But he can be described:

- He is a misfit in the Church, an outlier; he does not fit into clerical culture; he does not do well as an ordinary parish priest. He is no "organization man."

- He is a headache for bishop or superior. He may live on his own or seek refuge in a hospitable rectory. He may be marginalized to chaplaincy in a hospital or college or odd-ball ministry where he can do minimal damage. He may launch off into his own personal mission with the reluctant permission of his superior.

- He has a deep if eccentric Catholic piety and a distinctive quality of personal holiness.

- He is intelligent, well read, deeply intuitive and insightful in an offbeat manner. He brings a fresh, unusual perspective. He is always interesting; sometimes fascinating. He is puzzling; an enigma.

- He is not "one of the guys." He doesn't like groups of priests. He forms deep, intimate, specific friendships...one on one.

- He may be an alcoholic, on a journey of recovery. He may have significant emotional and psychological instability. He may have a narcissistic trait.  He may have sex problems...of the hetero or homo variety does not essentially matter as chastity is chastity and lust is lust, powerlessness is powerlessness and surrender is surrender.

- He may be the Catholic Worker type or charismatic or traditional or involved with post-abortive women or of the radical left or any or all of the above. He is a misfit in the ecclesiastical body but involved in an unusual mission.

- He is contrarian and rebellious in certain ways; but deeply loyal to his fundamental Catholic convictions. He is idealistic but can be critical and cynical. He has an adolescent quality.

In high school I read Graham Green's The Power and the Glory and loved the whiskey priest who had fathered a child, whose life was a train wreck, and who died a martyr. I was mesmerized by the chiaroscuro of sin, deformity and chaos along with charm, grace, and piercing goodness. I still am.

My top 12 maverick priests:
(All remained priests with one partial exception; all have been good friends, with the same partial exception; I refer to them by first name as they lean to non-clerical informality and they deserve some degree of anonymity as mavericks.)

- John was an Assumptionist priest we met while studying and travelling in Puerto Rico in the summer of 1972(?). He is the most maverick of all my maverick priests. He was tons of fun, even as he was always negative, cynical, and modestly depressed. Very insightful! Fascinating! Puzzling! His unrelenting negativity seemed to camouflage a deeper innocence. He took a job in the high school where I worked. He didn't function openly as a priest. He lived quietly, in NYC, away from his order for many years. I lost touch but then reconnected years later.  He wrote a book about addiction and spoke of his father who went cold turkey to be able to provide for him. He was credibly accused of a sexual violation, evoked protests where he lived, and died in shame.



George was a Maryknoller who worked in Africa for many years. He came from our area, West Orange NJ, so my parents used to send him money. When he was came home for health reasons we ran into each other. When I told him I was starting a residence for low-income, especially special-needs women, he liked it and gave me a check for $10,000 without blinking. He gave me more money later. This was during our startup and was a huge help. In his earlier years he did a variety of unusual things. He had an apartment in NYC where he was doing something with the UN. In the 1970s he worte a large cartoon-style work on how bad the CIA was in the developing world. I asked him about it some years ago and he said it was out of print and he would like to see one. I think I have one buried in my attic. In his later years I noticed he didn't attend the liturgies at Maryknoll and he seemed to be distanced from the sacramental life of the Church. But one Saturday I was asking about Sunday mass schedule as I was leaving the next morning. He said: "If you want, I will offer mass for you early." I knew this was a big deal for him. I gladly accepted. Next morning as he celebrated, it was clear he had not done so in quite a while. After the gospel he jumped right to the Our Father. I had to intervene, of course, as the abbreviated form would not satisfy my Sunday obligation. He was a bright, intelligent, fascinating, charming, and quietly good soul. A quintessential maverick!

- Mark was the most charismatic friend I ever had. He was sublimely gifted. He overflowed with prayer and piety: as we traveled around we might burst into praise and tongues at any minute. He could evangelize: when he met my daughter's boyfriend he asked: Where are you with the Lord? He had by far the best theological mind of any close friend: he knew all about the renewal movements, all the gossip in the Church, all about power dynamics and crucial issues. He was an education for me. He was charming, warm, very funny and extremely fun. He had an addiction problem; a narcissistic tendency; and a problem with authority. . He became sober of alcohol immediately in AA but his participation in closed gay meetings seemed to lead to his embrace of a homosexual identity. On this substantial issue he dissented from his otherwise flawless Catholic faith; we had more than one heart-to-heart on this.  At one point he was homeless, sleeping on our couch and seemed to be suffering from AIDs. He left more than one diocese on bad terms.  He landed on his feet in another state and did well as a pastor from quite a few years. Toward the end of his life we spoke on the phone and he described to me why his bishop's (apparently sexual) allegations against him were so unfair.

Tim is a Paulist priest, old-school Irish, short in stature and short-tempered. He told me he had never lived anywhere (home, rectory, etc.) where there wasn't an alcoholic. He was keenly aware of his own co-dependency and that informed his always interesting and insightful homilies but didn't remove his own difficulties. He was my spiritual director for a time and was very helpful for me at a key time in my life. We co-taught a confirmation class and I saw that he was fiercely defensive and angry: minor misbehavior that I would entirely ignore would provoke rage in him. He was expelled from the school when he pushed a boy into a garbage can and almost provoked a law suit. He fought with our Irish pastor and provoked a scandalizing scandal in the parish. I liked our pastor but really liked Tim. I told them both they were off base. They were both removed from the parish. As far as I know he is doing fine.

Paul is dear to me like a son. He deeply loves the Lord; is an advocate of John Paul's Theology of the Body; and is a devout, passionate, holy priest. He is highly volatile! He suffers a raw, deep pain. He is charming, funny, and immensely entertaining, even when he does not intend to be. He is fierce and intense. At a difficult time for him I was privileged to be available to him and since then I have loved him with a most tender reverence. His road is not an easy one. He is not exactly a full-fledged maverick as he is living a fruitful, faithful life as a parish priest...but that with unusual pain and sacrifice.

Stephen is a certifiable maverick. He served in a series of parishes, including my own, but has found a home in hospital chaplaincy. He travels all over the world, all the time. He is bright and erudite in an extremely offbeat manner. He is the only person I can think of who has more appreciation than myself for all the renewal movements. At his birthday party: the Neo-cats with tons of kids were all around the pool; the post-abortive women (He invited me to join him and a handful of such women in a pilgrimage to Our Lady of  Guadalupe almost 20 years ago.) sitting under the tent talking quietly; the sophisticated, Italian Communion and Liberation families were circulating happily; and there was a smattering of charismatics including the exorcist from another diocese who described to me a recent exorcism. He offers mass in a formal, solemn fashion, but punctuates it with his own devotions and gestures, some in Latin, in a way that can be most distracting. Politically he is sometimes Catholic Worker and sometimes Catholic Monarchist. He is radical left and radical right. He has been referred to as the most conservative priest in the Archdiocese. He is a dear and most interesting friend and as I write this I miss him.

Jerry was the most clerical of my maverick priest friends. As a cleric, he was successful, and then a tragic failure. In high school, I was recruited by him to teach CCD in his parish and thus started my profession as a catechist. We crossed paths over the years, especially in Cursillo and charismatic renewal. He was pastor for a time; got a doctorate and taught theology at college; and started his own healing institute. Late in life we became friends. His priesthood, in a clerical manner, was most dear to him. He had become sober of alcohol in AA and maintained participation in that fellowship. In 2005 he was credibly accused of a sexual violation 25 years earlier. After being removed from the active priesthood, he made things worse by publicly con-celebrating mass and then appearing in Rome in clerical garb. The loss of his priesthood, which was everything to him, and his honor was an excruciating suffering for him.  He lived his last years quietly, modestly, humbly. Because we were close friends, he was candid with me about his failings. He was contrite for his own sins. He was at peace as he prayed daily for his accuser. He was a Graham Green character: deeply flawed, and also repentant, kind and deeply in love with Christ and His Church. His affection and respect for me was most touching. He gave generously to my work and even since his death his family foundation has been very good to us. May he rest in Peace!

The following five are not fully certified mavericks since they all lived or are living fruitful, flourishing priestly lives. But they have the maverick trait in that they don't quite fit into the clerical, parish priest, "one of the guy" molds. They are misfits in distinctive, really splendid ways.

Paul was an exquisitely holy priest. When he offered mass, you were in heaven...literally, ontologically, experientially in heaven! Really! He was an ideal priest. But couldn't quite make it as a pastor, as an administrator, as an organization man. He was loved by other priests. We became very close to him under the charismatic renewal in his Afro-American parish in 1973-80. We prayed with him intimately, passionately. He gathered three of us married couples to himself and we mutually supported each other while raising our families and are good friends today. At a point in time, I went into a quasi-psychotic state of mind under the hyper-stimulation of the charismatic renewal. I was thinking, saying and doing strange things...although nothing illegal, immoral or certifiably pathological. Paul came to my house and we walked around the neighborhood. He asked me what was going on. He didn't say another word. I told him what I was thinking. "What the Lord was doing in me." He looked directly into my eyes; nodded appreciatively; and exuded an affection and an invincible peace. I felt so good. When we finished the walk I was fine. I was freed from my strange, borderline state of mind. I was myself again; calm and serene; happily in touch with reality. I never went back there.  It was a miracle. I pray to him every day.

Larry is a classmate, a friend, a doctorate in spirituality, a man of deep insight and eccentric holiness. When I see him, every few years, he gives me outstanding reading material for spiritual reflection. He has been on mission, in covert manner (So Cool!) in Communist China; done much good work here in the states with priests and religious from China who come here to study; and done all kinds of retreat work and spiritual direction. I have found it very helpful to talk to him about personal material. He doesn't like "our class." He avoids our reunions. Yet he cherishes close friendship with many of us individually. I can't explain it; and I don't try to. He wrote a marvelous autobiography, The Misfit qualifies him as a misfit maverick in spite of his holy, fruitful priesthood. Ordinarily I am allergic to vulgar language; his is vile but for some reason I find it charming. He can be negative, cynical, sarcastic and biting.  He is transgressive, in a way that is strangely inspirational. I can't explain it; but I won't try to.

Bob is also only borderline maverick because he was a much loved priest and a fine pastor. He taught me Latin and Greek in high school after his ordination. We became friends. Highly intelligent, he went on for a doctorate in the classics. He is a maverick because his theology was SO far left, the opposite of mine. He was my ideological opponent, but a dear friend. On holidays like July 4th or Memorial Day he would go into a rant about war and pacifism and my army son had to go elsewhere for mass. Once at daily mass he gave a beautiful exhortation: "We can disagree respectfully...there is too much polarization...let us not demonize each other...we can argue and yet love each other in peace." I wanted to jump up and down for joy...or shout Alleluia...and couldn't wait to give him a big hug after mass. Then he paused. Took a deep breath. And went on:  "But whatever you do, PLEASE do not be like these Tea Party People: they are selfish, greedy, mean people. They care only for themselves..." I was heartbroken. What began so good ended so bad. One day I asked for the key to the chapel so I could bring the confirmation class for a "visit" to the Blessed Sacrament. He launched into a rant about how he hated these pious people who multiply their rosaries and could care less about the poor. I listened crestfallen: since this was his response to my request I assumed he saw my "visit" as such empty piety. But when he finished, to clarify, I asked: "Does this mean I can't have the key?" He was surprised: "No, of course not. I have no problem with you. I know you care about the poor. You can have the key whenever your want." After quite a few years I was burnt out from teaching confirmation and everything else that was going on. Every year I was instructed by him to discontinue the catechesis on chastity and implement a series on social justice: war, poverty, homelessness, and so forth. Every year I would listen quietly and then do what I wanted to do: the chastity retreat included. So this year it was different: he was emphatic that there would be no chastity retreat. It made no sense since the kids would confess all these sins on that day they they never confessed otherwise. As he spoke, I realized: this is my exit ticket. This is perfect. This is my invitation to move on. So I calmly said: "That sounds good Bob but I think it is time for someone else to take over." He agreed. And I moved on happily. I miss him now because he cared about the poor and loved to fight with the Archdiocese: if he were still pastor, he would have defied the chanchery  and rented to convent we are now using as a residence for about $1 a month.

Tom: is a brilliant theologian and a holy priest. He could be teaching at a prestigious university but has dedicated his life to the theological education of priests. When I meet a seminarian or young priest I like to ask about their best professors; Tom is always mentioned first. He received the mantle of Avery Dulles and carries on his mission: leadership in the Evangelical-Catholic dialogue, erudition rooted in holiness of life, loyalty to Tradition/Magisterium along with discerning conversation with modern thought. His lectures are spellbinding as he is: witty, dynamic, enthusiastic, enlightening, and thoroughly entertaining. I would never miss one! He has been personally encouraging to me in several ways. So why is he a maverick? Well, like Larry above, he doesn't quite fit in with normal clerical social life. He is an outlier in that sense. He has his own wholesome social life, but doesn't plug into the normal clerical social patterns. There is an anti-social dimension there, even as he is engaging, charming, warm and interesting. I can't explain it; and I won't try to. He does tremendous work for the Church! May our Lord continue to bless him and his work!

Charlie was a real character. He was chaplain at the port and when I went to his noon mass he would welcome me to lunch. He said he was a recovering alcoholic. He exuded humility in the very best sense. He did many strange and wonderful things. As a young priest he had an impulse to visit Einstein in Princeton. He drove there; knocked on the door; and was welcomed into the library where they had a warm chat. Einstein was interested in only one thing: the theology of the Eucharist. He, the genius of matter and energy, was fascinated by this Catholic mystery. He asked Charlie to send him the best Catholic theology of the Eucharist in the German language. Charlie did so.

That completes my top 12 list. But I have one more honorable mention. Ivan Illich. I did not know him personally but he deeply influenced me in my formative years with his dazzling critique of modernity. He was voluntarily laicized but remained loyal to his vow of chastity and daily prayer of the Divine Office so he remained, in my mind and probably in his, a priest in his very being. He was spectacularly iconoclastic, anarchistic, and strange, but with profound Catholic intuitions and loyalties. He left me with a deeply critical view of modernity as well as my own narrow Irish-American Catholic background. He was a brilliant maverick!

My maverick priest friends are iconic of Christ's Church: flawed, puzzling, sometimes deviant, conflicted, intuitive, compassionate, interesting, charming, intelligent, insightful, suffering, sometimes shamed, endearing, pious, passionate, contrarian, beautiful and holy. I love them!