They are entirely ignored in sociology and psychology, theology and philosophy. They deserve attention!
I am a certified member of the Uncles Club! If we could measure the happiness and pride of uncles I would test in the top 1 % of the top 1 %. I LOVE being an uncle!
I think of my own uncles often. I had five. All were related by blood, not by marriage as my mother's siste married my father's brother so he was uncle in two ways. They basically formed the masculine world in which I grew up. They (along with aunts, grandparents) were the pillars of my world. I think of my Mom and Dad as huge, central pillars holding up the world I inhabited; but they were not alone. Around them were these important figures who added support, strength, stability, variety and flavor to our world. My uncles (and uncle-like friends) mirrored to me what masculinity is; they imaged for me my future identity. They were big, strong, confident, funny, intelligent, interesting, fun. On my father's side, heavy with men: Frank the oldest overflowed with good will, generosity, humour, fun; he and his family had a special affection for my family as my Dad was the youngest. Ed, a bachelor, was very good to us; an athlete, a man's man, quiet, humorous in a subtle way. Uncle Jack was different; somewhat distant, he was a loner; he had fought with Patton; when I would see him (he and I both caddied at a local country club) I felt a gentle affection flowing both ways. Charlie was close in age to my own father; he was like him, even funnier; to be with him was to be laughing or smiling nonstop. On my mother's side quite a different story: Uncle Billy travelled around South America; a brilliant man, wildly eccentric; fascinating to us; after his death we learned he was an intelligence officer, covert, for the army all those years after his service in WWII where he was wounded and honored. We would not see for years but we thrilled whenever he came around.
I was blessed with two Aunt Marians and Aunt Grace. The former were both mothers of their own families but overflowed with fun, humor, and affection for my family; Aunt Grace, single, was very, very close to us.
Some years ago, I at the finale of a parish-based "Discovering Jesus" program, I found myself being prayed over by two young women...devout, intelligent, attractive...who knew my nephews and so identified me as Uncle Matt. I have been prayed over, perhaps a hundred times, and expected the normal: Jesus, make Matt a good man, husband, father, pure and strong. But no: they surprised me and asked an anointing on my unclehood...that I be a good uncle. I was delighted with the thought. How many uncles are so anointed? Since then I have claimed from the Holy Spirit special gifts of unclehood.
Being an uncle is fun, delightful, effortless, unmerited, gratuitious and serendipitous. It is organic, spontaneous, entirely indeliberate. Between uncle and niece/nephew there is a gentle, pleasant affection, interest, respect. It just comes freely. It arises, of course, out of the affection between brother and sister which the children drink in like mother's milk. I don't remember ever having to correct a nephew; nor have I ever spent a penny on a niece. The thing is entirely free, light, and joyful. It is part of the nature of things. In this it resembles grandparenthood and cousinhood...all joy, no effort.
I have 18 nieces and 13 nephews. But it is not the quantity, it is the quality that matters. If I had only one I would be a happy uncle. My nieces are all feminine, intelligent, competent, maternal, kind, faithful, and lovely in every dimension...each in her distinctive, unique fashion. My nephews are fun, funny, interesting, athletic, virile, stimulating...dear "little brothers."
Happiness is...being an uncle!
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