She was very close to my mother, her Aunt Jeanne, who passed earlier this year at the age of 101. Just before she died, sound of mind and strong in spirit, she was calling people to say goodbye. She called her dentist, whom she loved, to say she wouldn't be in for her cleaning and exam. Judy was at the top of here list. They had a great chat. There was no fear of death there.
A Catholic does not fear death. I often remember my Aunt Marian, Judy’s Mom, just weeks before she died there was a big party, for Frank’s 75 birthday party, but it was really a going away party for her and she was radiant, smiling and laughing and as always full of affection and joy.
My Mom fondly remembered Judy a a teenager surprising her with a visit with her friends and a box of candy or goodies. That was Judy: always fun and laughter and joy. For us younger cousins she was the quintessential cool 1950s rock-and-roll teen: popular, gregarious, fun-loving. She was in the league of Ricky Nelson, Fonserelli, and John Travolta! She had a wild side, mischevious and even naughty: she would sneak out of her house in the morning to go to the infamous candy store for her breadfast of coke-and-donut.
We had a rough start though:: she liked me but I wasn’t crazy about her. I was maybe 4 years old and she was about 14. She like me but I wasn’t too crazy about me. So she would look at me and say “Hey cutie, I’m going to kiss you.” I would scream: “No. No kisses” and run away in terror. She would chase me, laughing. And I remember wondering “What is funny about this?” And she would catch me and kiss me. So annoying. SO ANNOYING! She was such a tease. She got that from her father, Frank.
This is what I want to say: she was, straight out, the most fun and funny person I ever met. When you were with her you were always laughing. The only ones in her league are her sisters Eileen and Pat. First of all: they tell everything. There are no secrets. No skeletins. No facade or pretensions. You are sitting there and you think: “Wow! She just said that!” And then you are laughing. If they are together it is even worse. You have to take a breath between the laughter. All the foibles and failings and sufferings...they all become light and humorous and affectionate when you are with the Frank-and-Marian cousins.
Judy, like her sisters, is a sublime sythesis of their mother and father, Frank and Marian. What a couple! So different. Frank tall and large in stature, in personality and character. Loud, clear voice; intelligent; gregarious; expansive and generous; funny. A leader of men! Marian, by contrast: petite, vivacious and bubbly, overflowing with affection and warmth; rich in faith. When you put that intelligence and humor together with that warmth and affection you have magic, that was Judy.
She was a product of, even the epitome, of the world in which we grew up. Working class, Irish Catholic; lots of kids; women pregnant or nursing; drinking and laughter and happily loudness. The men, all active in the labor movement, talking sports or union or politics. It was lively, light-hearted, energetic, and loud in a happy way. The Laracys, the Lenons, the Corrigans, the Hegers and others. Frank and Marian seemed to serenely preside, like king and queen, over this rich community of laughter, energy, faith, hope and love. And Judy was like a Princess.
Underneath it all: a deep, quiet Catholic faith. Our gatherings were often around the sacraments: somebody’s first communion, confirmation, wedding, baptism or funeral (like today). Judy, Rich,Eileen, and Pat lived literally in the shadow of Our Lady of Lourdes Church in West Orange. The Church was like the West Orange mountain, solid, palpable, reliable, invulnerable. ..like the earth beneath your feet. From the Church you could almost throw a snowball and hit their house. The Eucharist was there and the sacraments and I believe Judy inhaled, with the oxygen, the Holy Spirit radiating from that Church. She always kept the faith...in her quiet, humble way. Nothing pretentious, preachy or moralistic about her. All fun, affection, kindness. Never a hint of resentment or self-pity. Judy loved her novenas. And her rosary. I am told that when she was sick Linda asked if she wanted her rosaries she took them and immediately started praying her hail marys. It is like riding a bike...it comes right back. With her sisters she was expert about dispensations: she knew the travel dispensation, sick and all the others like a trained canon lawyer. She lived in the state of grace: quiet, humble. Trusting in God’s presence, power, providence.
As the oldest of us, Judy always seemed to me to have a foot in both generations: ours, and our parents. Born in 1937, she was a young girl during the war, well before the rest of us were conceived. You can imagine what a joy she was in those difficult years to her grandparents and all the women praying for safe return of the troops. She was Aunt Grace’s best friend. She was like a little sister to my father and the Laracy brothers. Uncle Jack was very fond of her. He was a funny guy: a loner, quiet, we didn’t see much of him. He fought with Patton. Aunt Grace remembers that Judy would get these beautiful letters from overseas from him. In beautiful penmanship, well expressed, they read like poetry. But the letters to Grandma and Aunt Grace were three sentence scribbles, not real intelligible. Some years later Aunt Grace asked him about the letters. “Oh that: I wrote the ones to you but the ones to Judy were done by a guy in our regiment who could really write well and he did the important letters to girlfriends and wives and stuff." I doubt Judy every knew that. I wasn’t going to tell her.
I felt a sweet Joy when I learned she had passed. A relief that her suffering was over. A sense of awe at a live well lived. But most of all a surge of joy pondering the joy in heaven as she is received by Pop Lenon, Grandma and Aunt Grace, her Laracy uncles and all the rest. Yes there is great joy in heaven as she is welcomed by so many who love her: Frank and Marian, Pop Lenon, Grandma and Aunt Grace and the Laracy borthers and others.
We are here today to pray for her soul, of course, because like all of us she is in need of God’s mercy. Her purgatory, I suspect, was largely served over these last difficult months of sickness. So I feel drawn to already share that Joy in heaven. With that happy thought, Let me end with a prayer of gratitude.
Dear God. Thank you for this beautiful life! Thank you for this marvelous cousin, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend. Thank you for all the joy and love and laughter she gave us. May she and all those she has loved in heaven send blessings of joy and love to us on earth, especially Bill, Kathy and Billy and Linda and their families, Rich and Eileen and Pat and their families, her cousins and friends. and all of us who enjoyed her so. Amen.
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