Virtue and Femininity

In the pursuit of virtue, the woman has a huge advantage over the man as she is endowed by a powerful natural, instinctive urge to the good: morphologically, hormonally, neurologically and every which way...the woman is open to the other in sensitivity, compassion, emotional intelligence, kindness and generosity of spirit. It is her nature. In contrast to the brittle, sharp boundaries of the masculine soul and the inflated propensities of the male ego, the womanly psyche is pourous, engaged in the other, outgoing, inclusive, and gracious.

This instinctive, intuitional openess disposes her, at the same time, to specific weaknesses which require a formation of the intellect and will in virtue. Edith Stein (St. Theresa Benedicta of the Cross) was especially prescient on this: she recognized the endowed richness of womanly instinctivity as well its need for a deepening and sharpening in the goodness of the will and intellect which can be overwhelmed by emotion and passion.

The masculine soul is more fragmented: even neurologically, parts of the brain that process emotion, thought, articulation, and decision do not communicate with each other as well as the more unitary, synthetic feminine brain. The danger for the woman is that she can be overwhelmed by emotion in a way that clouds the intellect and disables the will. So, education of the young woman needs a special kind of attention here.

The intense, profound bond between mother and daughter, of course, stengthens the feminine/maternal instincts. As does the spontaneous, intimate friendships formed so easily with other girls. So in a way quite different from the boy, the girl needs the influence of the loving, gentle, strong, protective father. Inbibing the love of the father, she takes in the best masculine qualities which she by nature lacks: a sense of being safe and cherished, emotional sobriety, inner serenity, respect for realistic boundaries and rules, reverence for authority/tradition/law, courage and self-confidence, a quiet assertiveness in the broader world, self-esteem in her own exquisite femininity as well as appreciation for the distinctive goodness of the masculine.

Mainstream feminism of the cultural liberalism of the past half century has tended to be a deconstruction of genuine femininity, actually a camouflaged and sophisticated misogyny, in its rush to androgyny which is actually a mimesis of toxic masculinity as sexual promiscuity (renouncing of paternity-maternity), bourgeois careerism in its pursuit of success-ambition-power, and the destruction of the powerless unborn.

A contrasting, more positive itinerary for the feminine in the face of an impoverished masculinity, can be seen in the black, ex-slave community. Here we see a fierce, resilient femininity, deeply rooted in Christian faith, that has compensated for masculine abandonment with a virile fortitude that yet preserves a maternal and feminine generosity.

In the broader culture, however, the decline of masculinity as a form structured by virtue has led to a decadent culture institutionalized in a emasculated liberalism bereft of the virile virtues and expressive of a weakened, reasentful and even hysterical effeminacy. This in turn has provoked a reaction in the form of a crude Trumpian machismo of xenophobia, bravado, anxiety and resentment.

Just this week, my niece mentioned to me her visceral aversion to some of the readings at daily mass: the mother of seven sons in Maccabees who exhorted her sons to suffer torture in fidelity to their God and the saints Perpetua and Felicity who themselves left their infants to accept excruciating martyrdom. My niece is by her nature exquisitely motherly; I was disinclined to disparage her feelings. But then she herself mentioned her devotion to our Blessed Mother. That of course opened a most hopeful direction: growth in closeness to Mary can only intensify all that is best in natural maternity even as engagement with the Passion of her Son can bring it a new spiritual depth.

Mary, our Mother, pray for us.