In midlife, my 50s, 2000-2015, I was privileged to enjoy dinner and drinks on several occasions with these four groups. I was very comfortable with them: having passed my college years in seminary with Maryknoll and studied theology with Jesuits in NYC, I have spent 12 years teaching in Catholic schools, perhaps 25 years teaching CCD. Even my secular business career of 25 years was with UPS, Franciscan-like in its brown uniforms/trucks as well as masculine, hardworking, blue collar, intense, unpretentious, with a stern code of integrity. My experience in UPS was not unlike the seminary in many ways. As a lay family man, I am close in spirit to the clergy and consecrated.
The first three groups were strikingly similar; the CFRs a contrast to the others.
With the Jesuits, Maryknollers and Christian Brothers my hosts were always half a generation older than me, silent generation, then approaching 70, "older brothers." All Irish, urban, seasoned. All moderately liberal, politically and theologically, to the left of myself, products of the Vatican II Council liberalism of their early adulthood, courteous and restrained in conversation.
The Jesuits of Jersey City, where I was guest of my spiritual director of many years, history professor John Wrynn S.J., had the finest alcohol and cuisine. Erudite, sophisticated, confident, charming, they received me warmly as they had taught my oldest daughter Mary and son Paul. Both were standouts in that student body with regard to intelligent participation in class. My daughter was a celebrity among this specific cohort of Jesuits, vigorously heterosexual, candid in an innocent fashion in their admiration for Mary's feminine charm.
In those same years I would periodically make a private retreat at Maryknoll NY, guest of a classmate-friend John Sivalon and an older African missioner, George Carter, an exceptional, eccentric, utterly charming man. He came from our area, West Orange NJ; we had donated to his mission on occasion. He came home for health reasons. When I told him we were starting a residence for low-income women he gave me a check for $10,000...a big boost at that time. I would walk the beautiful grounds including the cemetery, pray in chapel, read, eat with the missioners. I had died and gone to heaven! These men were less erudite, men of good deeds, more modest. Each had spent a lifetime overseas, serving the poor and the Church. Intelligent, serene, generous, humble. They would generally be moderate theologically but liberal politically in their love of the poor. I was in awe of the generosity and humility of their lives.
I was hosted at the Christian Brothers in Jersey City by my friend-big-brother, Ray Murphy. These men had similarly spent a lifetime teaching high school boys. Many had multiple master's degrees. Intelligent and well-informed like the Jesuits, they resembled the Maryknoller's in their humility and quiet serenity. As with the other two groups, they had about them a gentleness, a quiet confidence, high intelligence, tons of warmth and charm, and a quiet, unpretentious piety. The charism/vocation of the brother is striking: they surrender wife/family/autonomy/wealth; they do not enjoy the status/powers/privileges of ordination and configuration to Christ the Bridegroom; as they lack the virginal, bridal surrender to the Groom of women religious. They embrace poverty at several levels, radiating fraternity, humility, service. The Christian brothers, strong educators of young men, exercise a paternity in their schools.
The Friars of the Renewal are a different flavor of Catholic religious life. Founded in NYC in 1987, this group is a return to the radical poverty of St. Francis, to service of the poor, and announcement of the Gospel in all its depth and novelty. The eight founders (Groeschel, Apostoli, Sudano, etc.), same generation as my friends in the other orders, are striking and distinctive: New York, macho, edgy, radical, confident, bold, passionate, conservative, countercultural, contemplative/activist, rooted in communal prayer, creative, extreme. They are culture warriors, reactive to a world gone dark and a Church gone soft. They are more in synch intellectually with myself. My nephew was a friar in Newark at the time; most of the friars were the age of my children. There I was the elder, received warmly and respectfully as "Uncle Matt." The food was whatever they received as donation but was sometimes good. The mood relaxed, youthful, energetic. Doer of good deeds rather than readers of books, they were very tuned into the cutting edge of the Church in hip NYC: they would be seen at every good lecture or event sponsored possibly by the lay renewal movements. Close to the poor, they are also fiercely Catholic in defense of the unborn and traditional values.
It was an honor and a delight to dine with all four groups.
Many of my older brothers are now passed. I recall with awe and gratitude their lives: generous, gentle, intelligent, noble, loyal to the Church they love.
Thinking of the Friars, I surge with hope, joy and youthful energy.
May our Lord continue to bless our Church with just such men as priests and brothers!
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