"While the most competent women leaders often reflect the virtues of male-dominated spaces, they do so while maintaining what St. John Paul II called "the feminine genius"--a biologically-based way of perceiving the world that allows for genuine empathy. But to flourish as a society, we need a best-of-both-worlds form of leadership in which that "feminine genius" works in concert with the "masculine genius." Men must be allowed to contribute in the courageous, to-the-point, appropriately confrontational style designed into them by their Creator.
The enduring health of any society depends on the full expression of both: the intuitive compassion that builds communion, and the principled firmness that guards order and truth. When men are diminished or sidelined, society loses the guardianship of boundaries, courage and disciplined purpose--qualities that stabilize families, communities and nations.
Civilization itself depends on this balance: the complementarity between the man who protects and the woman who nurtures, each reflecting a facet of divine wisdom that, together, sustains human flourishing."
Kelsey Reinhardt, President of Catholic Vote CatholicVote.org October 23, 2025
Kelsey Reinhardt's precise, penetrating summary of the divinely-intended female/male balance is a development of the must-read, brilliant essay The Great Feminization by Helen Andrews at www.compactmag.com Oct. 16, 2025. There Andrews, with her customary depth and precision, sees that the explosion of the "woke" cult a few years ago coincides exactly with the demographic predominance of women in key cultural arenas including law, social sciences, education and other. In this new order, masculine values of order, justice, accountability, authority, borders, tradition, confrontation, courage, and magnanimity have succumbed to the pronouncedly feminine of empathy, welcome, affirmation, fluidity, cooperation, unity, serenity and nurture. In a previous essay, Fleckinstein here argued that this new regime is not the influence of an authentic, holy femininity, but the unholy union of an effeminate masculinity and a toxic, machismo-imitating femininity. Admittedly we see around us toxic, inflated masculinity, but the deeper crisis is the diminishment of authentic, wholesome virility as authoritative paternity and paternal authority.
Pope Leo on Synodality
Within this context, we consider Pope Leo's homily Sunday (8/26) on the Pharisee and the Publican. Echoing his mentor-predecessor, he discovers that the Pharisee sins against "synodality:" he positions himself over the tax collector as superior, indifferent and distant. And so, the Gospel call is to the equality of listening: open, compassionate, loving. This posture is set against power, hierarchy, superiority, and the refusal to listen. Toxic masculinity is contrasted to wholesomely feminine virtues, which are of course intrinsic also to genuine virility.
In this he is entirely faithful to his mentor's agenda. Francis passionately despised a image he configured and condemned of toxic, clerical machismo: dogmatic, moralistic, reactionary, superior, indifferent to the poor and the suffering. This message is sweeter to the palette coming from Leo in his sincerity, gentleness and transparency. He radiates a serenity, stability, kindness, and yearning for unity, unsullied by emotionalism, resentment, melodrama. Indeed, his appeal is largely in masculine virtues: steadfast, calm, rational, reliable, objective, judicious, humble and selfless in dedication to the institution. And so, the message, especially as exemplified in his own person, is admirable. And it does address masculine propensities to egotistic indifference, superiority, status hierarchy, and the pride/aggression of the inflated-but-fragile male ego.
So far so good. What is the problem?
An initial problem will be if he persists in the bureaucratization of this synodal ideal: it will become either an endless girly venting of feelings or it will be manipulated behind the scenes, in catty-camouflaged manner, by progressives to further rupture our bonds with the past.
More troubling is a deeper dilemma: Like his mentor, Pope Leo seems unaware that OUR CRISIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATED, BUT A DIMINISHED VIRILITY! To be precise, within the Church, it is a crisis of virile authority. It is not that the Church has become feminine in a wholesome, holy, Marian manner. Rather, a critical mass of our hierarchy and lay intellectual elite have become effeminate: weak, uncertain, indecisive, toxically empathetic, gay-friendly. IT IS NOT THAT THE HIERARCHY HAS POWER, BUT THAT IT LACKS AUTHORITY.
Power and Authority
These two are entirely different. Power is the capacity to exert force externally. For example, on the basketball court the big guy has the strength to position himself, box out, push competitors away and grab the rebound. The President exerts the power to arrest and deport undocumented immigrants or he applies tariffs on countries for various reasons. Power is the white ball knocking the other ball into the hole.
Authority, from the Latin word "to grow or make grow" is not extrinsic force, but the capacity to influence and allow growth, life, thriving. "Authority" resembles the word "author" which also means to create or bring to life. All authority derives and expresses the ultimate life-bestowing capacity and intention of God. All genuine authority here on earth is intended for the life of the one under its influence. Authority, as life-giving, is inherently generous, gentle, humble, gracious, tender, gratuitous, magnanimous. Additionally, human authority itself is always subservient to a Good-Truth-Beauty transcendent of the one endowed with authority. So, the priest proclaims the Gospel, the pope protects and enhances the Deposit of Faith, the policeman serves the peace and safety of the city, the father/mother protects the good of the entire family. The authority figure is not powerful, but always representative, expressive of a Reality greater than himself. Real authority is interiorly humble: deferential to something greater. The Pope serves the Word of God; the Supreme Court the Constitution.
The strength of authority is intrinsic, interior; it is influential, flowing peacefully into the receptive, voluntarily-open heart and mind. Power is extrinsic; it is coercive. Authority, by its attractiveness, charm and goodness penetrates the heart and mind of the recipient... encouraging, healing, inspiring, strengthening, correcting, comforting. It draws from the transcendent; as it satisfies the cravings of the human heart and intellect.
There is a distinction...subtle, nuanced, mysterious... between feminine and masculine authority. The masculine is always paternal, iconic of the Fatherhood of God, the first person of the Blessed Trinity. And so, there is a certain distance, reflecting the infinite distance of creature from Creator, as in the prolonged distance between the embryo-and-then-infant and the father. This chasm is slowly overcome by the loving, persistent overtures of the father. The distance of paternity carries awe, obedience, accountability, and fascination. This distance remains even as it is infused with affection, comfort, protection, provision, tenderness and delight. Paternal love, distinct from the maternal, is precisely the mysterious, paradoxical, fascinating co-inherence of gentleness/tenderness/delight with strength/awe/authority. It is God-like in its retention of transcendence within immanence.
By contrast, from the moment of conception, the mother enjoys a remarkable intimacy with the child. Maternal influence is more intimate and immediate, less transcendent. Even prior to conception, in the spousal embrace the woman is receptive in trust while the man is assertive and donative. The 9 month enclosure of the child is extended into infancy in the maternal embrace, tender attentiveness and especially the act of nursing. Slowly and inexorably, the child, especially the boy, moves away from this enclosure.
We see that the trajectories are in opposite directions: the father moves to the inherently-distant child, the child moves away from the enclosing-mother. Yet these primal structures remain resonant throughout life as they develop themselves into the forms of paternity and maternity and permeate every dimension of human life.
Our New "Synodality": Not Apostolic, Not Virile, Not Authoritative
Jesus Christ, Son of the Father, is the icon of the Father. To see Jesus is to see the Father. And so by analogy, all masculinity is iconic of the Father: giver of life, author, authoritative, strong but gentle, patiently working to overcome distance in tenderness, nurture and delight. Within virile authority there is always a strength, courage, ferocity, awesomeness; even as it is gentle, tender, protective.
This new democratic, non-apostolic "synodality" is highly feminine: receptive, sensitive, nurturing, verbal, reconciling, affirmative, unitive. As I type those adjectives, I sense the oxytocin and serotonin calming my heart; my testosterone is quiet. This is, of course, to the good. A virtuous man will exercise such listening. But he will not remain in it, as in an unending bureaucratic protocol. No! Virility moves into decision, action, often confrontation. Women have stronger inclinations to talk and to listen. Even preteen girls can spend lots of time just talking with each other. Boys cannot do this. They have to play, compete, act. A man can listen only so long. Then he has to decide, act, compete.
As given to us by Pope Francis, synodality is without finality, indecisive, inactive, non-confrontational. It is not authoritative. Any red-blooded, testosterone-pumping, woman-loving, fruitful male would rather mow the lawn, play touch football, or write a scathing blog essay than sit for weeks sharing feelings.
Bishops and all in authority would be well-served by intensive, deliberate listening sessions. We all would be well-served! Proposal: every bishop, boss and authority set aside two hours weekly to just listen: to employees, competitors, transgendered, victims, borderlines, sociopaths, polysexuals, fascists, jihadists, Latin Massers, sexaholics, and depressives. The purpose here would be to listen and learn...contemplatively, compassionately, receptively; not to decide.
By contrast, the traditional episcopal synod is (after listening) precisely decisive, authoritative and virile: it is convened (by elderly, male, ordained bishops only) to address a controversy, confusion or heresy. It is decisive, certain, definitive. It listens, it argues, it votes, it decides. It is clear and binding.
Virile, Christlike Authority
We do not see Moses descending the mountain, radiant with light, to listen to the grieving, victim Israelites. Nor did Joshua, Samson, and David listen to the Jebusites, Amorites and Edomites. The Maccabees did not dialogue with the Hellenists.
In the Gospel, Jesus does not listen, question, poll and affirm tax collectors, Sadducees, or Roman imperialists. He proclaims. He acts. Decisively. He spends nights in prayer where he clearly listens to his Father. Yes he is instantaneously compassionate. But that moment of empathy springs directly into action: deliverance of spirits and healing. Authoritative action! The mission he gives the 72 and the 12 is not to have affirmation/sensitivity/listening sessions! They are to proclaim, heal, drive out demons. If their voice is rejected, they shake the dust and move on to proclaim and act elsewhere.
Christ is virile. He is authoritative. He is masculine...not feminine, not androgynous... love. He is not love as passivity, tolerance, endless sharing, unconditional acceptance, peace at any price. He is not effeminate. He is love as decision, Truth, fearlessness, ferocity, wrath, certitude, clarity, efficaciousness, infallibility, assertiveness, boldness, combat, judgment, sacrifice, retribution, paternity.
Christ is the groom to us the bride. In relation to him, we receive: his Word, his Body and Blood, his Holy Spirit. Leaving the receptivity of the Eucharist, we ourselves...in our own arenas... then manifest our own Spirit-infused assertiveness, magnanimity, confidence, courage, generosity, generativity.
Christ to the Father is Son. Within the Trinity and in his humanity/virility Christ is ultra-super-uber-feminine: trusting, grateful, actively receptive. With the Father, Christ is generative of the Holy Spirit. With us he is paternal as he is the perfect image of the Father. In turn, the Son gives glory and honor to the Father. And so, the super-receptive Son is super-active, in his love and service of the Father and the Kingdom. And, secondly in his love for us. His love for us is already/always enclosed within his love for the Father. But, in his divinity and humanity both, the primacy is his union with the Father. The most important thing he does every day: not teaching, not healing, not forgiving, not exorcising, not even suffering and dying; but abiding in his Father, spending his nights in prayer.
The human person, image of the Trinity, is likewise receptive and donative. Each person is so in an utterly unique fashion, free of rigid stereotype. The feminine and the masculine are distinct in the manner in which these dynamics cohere. The feminine genius is more one of reception, the masculine one of donation. The beauty is the communion between the two: within each person, within each relationship.
And so the man, and the cleric in his specific mode, emulates the virility of Christ. Primarily, in a creaturely mimesis of the Son, receptive within the Trinity of the Father and the Holy Spirit. The male enjoys a blessing of strength, iconic of the Father: in his physique, especially his seed-donating fruitfulness. Psychologically he is prone to decision, action, confrontation, certitude, clarity, courage, sacrifice. At the same time his psyche, in its stability, is vulnerable to a rigidity and fragility. This makes him desperately in need of receptivity in prayer as well as in reception of the love of mother, then father, brother and sister, friends, wife.
The woman for her part manifests more pronouncedly the receptivity within the Trinity. She more intimately, passionately, precisely receives: first, the love of God; then the other person... friend, child, spouse, or the suffering one. This maternity is itself so fierce that when aroused it can be even more courageous, aggressive and enflamed than virility as paternity. The maternal and paternal are both receptive and donative, in a different manner.
We intuit here an endless dance, at every level of reality...the physical, emotional, social, intellectual, and the mystical. The virile and the feminine, the groom and the bride, the paternal and the maternal... enchanted, fascinated, reverential, heroic, receptive/donative, active/contemplative...reflective of the inner-eternal-Event of love that is the Trinity.
Conclusion
Toxic masculinity is a plague upon our world: control, power, greed, lust, indifference, manipulation, narcissism, aggression...Putin, Trump, Epstein, Weinstein, jihadism, fascism, misogyny, clericalism and much more. It is not our only and not our worst problem.
Western society and the Catholic Church...in all its elite institutions...has surrendered to a toxic femininity that is NOT authentically womanly as receptive, confident, trusting, generous, holy and Marian. It is, rather, a mimesis of insecure, toxic machismo: suspicious, envious, grasping, discontent, grasping, self-pitying, toxically-empathetic, angry and sterile.
Worse still...and the real core of our crisis...is the crisis in virility: the absence of authority; the prevalence of effeminacy.
Our men, our society/institutions/communities/families are fatherless.
We, systemically, lack: masculine obedience to the Transcendent, confidence, authority, certitude, magnanimity, heroism, stability, sobriety, protectiveness, humility, chastity, fidelity, gentle strength and strong gentleness.
Fleckinstein, you know Dear Reader, does not like to end on this negative note. Stay tuned: the next essay will identity the authentic witnesses to virile authority, men and women!
