Wednesday, November 5, 2025

The Structure of the Conjugal Act

 Most widespread slander against the Catholic Church:  "Not fair! Gays can't have any sex! Straights can have all they want!"

Foundational cultural error of post-1970, sterile, contraceptive American culture: "Sex is a human need."

The Spousal or Conjugal or Marital Act

In the Catholic world, everyone...homosexual, heterosexual, married, single, vowed to virginity or celibacy...plays by the same, very strict rules. 

The conjugal act belongs within the spousal union. That union is exclusive, male/female, perpetual, free, open to life, in union with God, legitimately manifested as a sacrament or with explicit Church approval. 

The act has a sacred, sacramental character as enactive of the "one-enfleshment" of man and woman. It is inherently unitive and procreative, even though every single act is not fruitful. The very nature or inner form of the act requires that the male climax occur within the woman, who receives the man's seed.

In other words, at climax, with the release of the seed, the penis must be within the vagina. Even slight penetration allows the act to be valid and well-ordered.

Accidental premature ejaculation is unintended and therefore morally innocent. Within the flow of the intercourse, the woman can be brought to climax before or after ejaculation without harm to the act.

Deliberate arousal to climax outside of this spousal one-enfleshment is inherently non-unitive and sterile and therefore disordered as mutual masturbation. This applies even to a married couple.

Consummation and Dissolubility of Marriage

In the 12th century Church especially, there was disagreement as to what created or ratified the marriage: consent of the spouses or consummation understood as natural intercourse, open to life. The final resolution included both: the actual marriage is ratified by the consent. But the consummation completes or seals the marriage. So, a valid but unconsummated marriage is a real marriage. However, such can be dissolved by the Pope for good reasons. A sacramentally valid and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by the Pope or anyone else. It is absolutely permanent.

To dissolve is different in kind from an annulment which is common. The later declares the sacrament to be void: there never was a real marriage at all due to some defect, for example in consent or form. By contrast, to dissolve is to declare there was a real marriage, but it was not finalized by the spousal act, and therefore can be dissolved. This leaves the parties free to marry or make vows in the religious life.

I have never heard of such. It must be quite rare. In earlier times we can imagine: a man and woman, on the night of their marriage, share that the man desires priesthood  and the woman religious life but perhaps married to satisfy their families. This case would also raise a question about the consent being free. Nevertheless, if they refrain from natural intercourse it is possible that they petition to have the marriage dissolved. 

Josephite marriage, in which spouses validly marry but voluntarily and mutually refrain from sex in imitation of the marriage of Mary and Joseph is another rarity in our time. But such a marriage, unconsummated, can be dissolved, for example if either desires consecrated life or ordination.

We see from this discussion that the spousal act is itself normally constitutive of the sacrament, understood broadly beyond the marriage ceremony itself.

The sacredness of the act would be intuitive for most traditional religions. The idea is ridiculous in our secular, sexually-sterile culture.

Impotence as Impediment to Catholic Marriage

Here is another little known fact, really a well-kept secret: sexual impotence, the inability to complete the spousal act, is an impediment to marriage. Impotence here does not mean sterility, the inability to conceive. Nor may it be confused with sexual dysfunction including female disinterest in sex. Rather, it refers to permanent, irreversible incapacity to perform the act. This would normally mean erectile dysfunction on the part of the male such that he can never, even slightly, penetrate the vagina. On the woman's part, this would mean a pathology such that she is unable to receive the penetration and the seed. I am not aware that this is a known condition although I did read of a woman who suffered a muscle condition due to rape but that seemed not to be permanent. And so, permanent and irreversible impotence, discovered after marriage, is grounds for annulment. 

We see here again: not fertility nor ability to enjoy sex but capacity to perform the act itself is intrinsic to a Catholic marriage. 

This raises issues for couples that marry late in life. Such are obviously sterile. Studies indicate something like 60% of men in their 60s suffer some degree of impotence. It is well known that there are treatments for the condition if it is not permanent and total. If there is even slight capacity and possibility that some seed be received, than the condition is not an impediment. Doubt is resolved in favor of the marriage. But lets assume the condition, possibly due to surgery, is total and irremediable by any drug or licit device. In that case the marriage could be annulled. 

Lets assume that the spouse, normally the woman, accepts the condition and opts not to seek annulment.  Obviously, if the Church does not know about it than it is not an issue. In the eyes of God? My guess is that he takes delight in the couple. But in this case, they would be restricted...along with everyone else...from sexual activity deliberately leading to climax, for either or both spouses, as it would not be a proper conjugal act.

Yes. This is a hard teaching! He never said it would be easy!

Conclusion

In Catholic life, the marriage bed, along with the family table and the Eucharistic altar, is the sacred place where God communes with the human person most intimately. The spousal act is sacred in many ways. It is cooperation with God in the creation of a person, a soul that will live for eternity. It is an incomparable union of husband and wife, not just physically or extrinsically, but in heart, soul, intellect, will and in all things. It is the most precious, intimate, holy, natural act imaginable.

And so, wisely, sternly, the Church protects the act...as well as the marriage, the family, the woman and the children. It is a hard, but inspiring and splendid teaching.






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