Catholicism, in contrast to other streams of Christianity, is firmly, clearly structured by the "states of life:" marriage, priesthood and religious life. Normal Catholic life is informed by the vows constituting these states and fidelity to them. Hans Urs von Balthasar is especially clear on this. The Catholic soul, overflowing with the gift of the Holy Spirit, flowing from the side of Christ, is urged to reciprocate with a similar gift (free, total, clear, final) of self, a vow, to a spouse and family, to the Church as icon of Christ the Bridegroom, or in the consecration of poverty, chastity and obedience. Each of the three vows is the fruit of baptism/confirmation: the reciprocal gift of self.
Catholic "Vocations" and Protestant "Callings"
For example: we speak of and pray for "vocations." By this we mostly mean priests, who bring us the sacraments and preside over our shared life. But that also includes religious and married life. I found that Protestants never speak of vocations. The word does not structure their Church life. They speak of "calling" but it means something different. They (for the most part) lack consecrated life and the sacrament of holy orders. Everyone is the same. But people do receive "callings"...to ministry, to preaching, and so forth. Some years ago our house hosted a young, homeless, Afro-American, Evangelical woman who was on fire with faith and joy. She would smile at me and speak of my "calling." I would ask her "what is my calling?" She would smile again (brilliantly) and refuse to tell me. responding mirthfully: "You know your calling." It was a phenomenal tease. I was desperate to know what she called my calling. I insisted I did not know but she would just smile. I never found out. I still do not know. As a Catholic, I am married and therefore primarily husband/father. That is my vocation. I am unaware of a "calling." I have always aspired to be a catechist, one who echoes the voice of Christ within the Church in various ways. Is that my calling? I like to think of myself as friend of the poor; but that is normal to Catholic life I would think.
Those Not in a State of Life?
Problem: what do we make of the single life and other ways outside of these three states. It is a minority of Catholics who are living within these states. Are the majority merely a privation, a failure to give? One might easily conclude so. There is the lack of that final, clear vow, that giving away of self.
However, these alternate states in fact have hidden structures of grace and sacrifice that work for the sanctification of the persons and the broader Church. It behooves us to recognize and honor these alternative states, the sacrifices involved, and the grace that flows.
To be clear, a "state of life" is far more profound, broad and definitive than more temporary and superficial engagements including career, friendships, ministries, activities. The vowed state structures and subordinates ones entire life. One's vow supersedes any career, relationship, ministry or engagement.
The cruciform state of life is not structured by a vow, but by an affliction, suffered passively, patiently, sacrificially. It is a defining, final condition that informs ones entire life. Such are not the result of deliberate volition, but enacted by the hand of God. Let us consider examples.
The Suffering and Disabled
Many are afflicted, physically or emotionally, and unable to make the normal vows. These carry a specific cross of frustration, loneliness, and longing. They are deprived of the normal joys of marriage, family, career, and other. This is a crucifixion. Received patiently, trustingly, gently this path brings holiness. Such sanctity is a radiance that edifies all those surrounding. And for the rest of us, we do well to avoid sentimental, toxic pity and to revere the nobility, heroism and dignity present. We do well to humble ourselves and receive the graces that flow to us from closeness to such goodness.
The Chaste Homosexual
A particular example is the frustration, loneliness, and sadness of the homosexual. This is aggravated by stigma and homophobia. But even beyond social isolation, this is a condition of pain and suffering. Here again, the Catholic who receives this affliction in patience and trust, sacrificially, is an icon for all of us of the virile, lonely, abandoned Christ.
Widowed, Divorced, Single Parent
In the early Church, the widow held a strong, sacred status. As a woman without a man, she lacked resources and so was needy and dependent. Care for the widow was a privileged expression of mercy. She was also often holy, a woman of prayer, a certain consecration enacted by God. From the very beginning there was clear recognition of her special state.
Similarly separated and divorced folks are living with a distinctive disappointment and loneliness. Avoiding moralism and judgment, we see here deep suffering. It is edifying for us to see the generosity and faith in the face of such.
The single parent faces, of course, an overwhelming challenge. The courage and generosity here again is inspiring. Here again, this condition...whatever its origins...entirely structures a person's life into generosity and self-gift.
The Non-Communicant
Not exactly a state of life, this is a precious condition. One who comes to mass and declines to receive is manifesting at once a love for Christ in the Eucharist, a loyalty to the Church, and a humility about her own person as a sinner. The most common cause here is of course an irregular marriage situation. This morning we visited a lovely young Mexican woman in the hospital. She happily told us the Church she attends but declined Communion as she said "juntos, no maridos." I understood her to mean she was with a man but nor married. She was straightforward about it. Respectful of the sacramental protocol. She prayed reverently. We were edified by her.
Single Life
For the young adult, the single life is a waiting, a preparation for the eventual commitment. I know several beautiful marriages that were confected at the age of 50. What of those who never marry? It is my view that eventually, perhaps after 50, this solitude becomes a final condition, and implicitly an invitation to an intimacy with Christ, an aloneness, that is interiorly the consecrated life. I have known many such men and women. Theirs is a quiet, humble holiness.
Ex-Priest and Ex-Religious
The laicized priest and dispensed religious are both returned to the lay state and usually marry. Some, for a variety of reasons, do not marry. This is an interesting state. Canonically, they are neither religious nor clerical. And yet, there remains an imprint on the soul. The priest in ordination receives an indelible seal that configures him the Christ specially and imprints powers for the sacraments, especially of confession and the Eucharist. The religious has no such sacramental seal but does live in the light of a sacred vow. This vow is dispensed and yet it cannot but have an enduring permanence in the recipient, even if lived out in a normal lay life of marriage, family and career. This is something that was never discussed in decades past, as many left those states. It is a taboo subject. Yet, we cannot wonder that God continues to work his graces in such souls, if quietly and covertly.
Conclusion
The Catholic cosmos is reminiscent of the feudal world; a marvelous galaxy of different states of life: peasants, merchants, monks and priests, knights, lords and kings. Each one is rich and dense in its tasks, charisms, sacrifices, privileges and mission. There is not a top-to-bottom ranking of best to least. But there is "hierarchy" in the etymological sense: "hier" means "holy" and "arch" means order. And so, a hierarchy is a "sacred order" which is according to the intentions of God. Each state is holy: inflamed with purpose, beauty, sacrifice, truth, and goodness.
We give praise God for this magnificent, ordered, beautiful world!
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