Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I Am Not Trustworthy, But My Network Is!

David DeSteno, psychologist writing in the Jan 19, 2014 "Sunday Review" of the NY Times, has it right: the self is NOT to be trusted. I cannot trust myself because my present-self is different from my future-self. For example, the resolution of my Sunday-morning-self to drink less the following Saturday night may be irrelevant to my Saturday-night-self. The self is fickle, volatile and entirely unreliable...even for those who appear to be stable and steady. What is the solution? Relationship!...and relationships...actually, a network of relationships. As a believer, my salvation is in my personal relationship with my Lord, Jesus Christ. But today I am thinking about the broader network of relationships, of which he is the foundation. A man is as good, as strong, as reliable as his NETWORK of relationships. It is this network that supports, encourages, heals, corrects, protects, guides, invigorates, inspires and shelters me. And so...If you see me as good, reliable, trustworthy...it is not due to qualities that inhere in me. It is because I am well connected with many good relationships and so I am constantly being refreshed and restored in goodness and truth. I am blessed with an awesome network: spouse and family, friendships, work connections. I am protected by a spiritual director, a (12-step-type of) sponsor, confession weekly, daily mass and adoration, and the entire sacramental network of the Catholic Church. I brag brazenly of my network. Every day I pray: "Make me trustworthy, as I place all my trust in you." I might add: "Make me trustworthy as I trust in these marvelous relationships!"

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