Divorce-Free Marriage Guarantee

The fine moral theologian Janet Smith famously gave her college students a guarantee that they would enjoy a guaranteed divorce-free marriage if they would do four simple things. She offered a $1,000 payoff for any student who did the four and came back to her divorced. The four are: go to mass every single Sunday, tithe 10% of your income to the Lord, wait until marriage for sex, and keep every act of love open to new life (no contraception although Natural Family Planning is fine.) I heartily agree with her. If you get money, worship, sexuality and new life right, you are in very good shape. Regarding the tithe I am loose: I don't see the 10% as sacrosanct. Those with weaker faith and/or smaller incomes might start off with 5% or even 2%. The idea is: give the top of your earnings to the Lord in the Church and in the less fortunate. Rick Warren started at 10% and increased it every year and currently he and his wife are giving 91%. I would, however, add a fifth...and a sixth practice to ensure a good marriage. The fifth: pray together! A couple HAS GOT TO pray together. It can be as simple as a Hail Mary or an Our Father...or a decade of the rosary...or simple spontaneous prayers: Lord, guide us! Jesus, we trust in you! Father, we thank you! Dear Lord, help us to understand each other, forgive each other, help each other! Marriage is difficult, at times impossible, even under the best circumstances. I know: I have the best circumstances. I have the best wife in the world and sometimes I just want to kill her! The misguidance of the world, the weakness of the flesh, and the lies of the devil all conspire to destroy marriages and families. If a young Christian couple cannot pray, just simply, together, something is wrong. It could be as simple as an embarrassment that has to be overcome by practice. Or it could be un-repented sin, or disbelief, or a resentment or toxic belief of some sort. They need to seek help from a good priest or minister. Prayer is essential! The sixth: Plug into some kind of more intensive Christian community. You simply HAVE TO TO hang out with people who are imitating Jesus. We are all mimetic...we are always and everywhere looking at others and imitating them, deliberately or unconsciously. You have to hang with folks who hang with Jesus. I pray especially for you young people who are now of marrying-age: May the Holy Spirit lead you to feed your heart and mind and soul with all you need to have fruitful, joyful marriages!