Sexual Reverence (1): For Women

Dietrich von Hildebrand's magisterial and inspiring Purity: the Mystery of Christian Sexuality has intensified my awareness of sexual reverence. In this posting, I want to reflect on the reverence we men give to women. My iconic, Christ-like virility is rooted above all in the mutual infusion of tenderness and reverence for women. Tenderness is the response, from my own gentle, peaceful, confident strength to woman in her sensitivity, preciousness and vulnerability. This tenderness is infused with a reverence before something inexpressibly sacred, holy and good. If virile tenderness is in part appreciation for feminine goodness-and-vulnerability, there is another reverence which genuflects before womanly strength, dignity, and honor. In this the male perceives a deeper, stronger, truer goodness in the woman, including the woman as bride, wife, mother, companion, sister, daughter and friend. In regard to the transcendentals, I have seen that women embody Beauty and Goodness more vividly and concretely while men are more vigorously oriented towards Truth. In this, we are created to balance, complement and fulfill each other. Proper virile reverence requires first of all the truthfulness of humility: this means that I consciously acknowledge my masculine sin towards women. This includes, of course: arrogance, lust, covetousness, superiority, fear, shame, and indifference towards what is most sacred and precious in women. Manly modesty and humility moves towards awareness of the distinctive strengths and charisms of women: the sensitivity, compassion, resilience, quiet wisdom, emotional intelligence, religious sense and innate purity and innocence. Esteem for and deference towards the distinctively feminine has the effect of awakening, strengthening, purifying, and directing all the energy, power and weakness of masculinity. Every woman is, then, for us men, a sacrosanct temple of infinite value. Along with Don Quiote, our purpose, mission and identity as "knights" absolutely requires that we honor each Dulcinea we meet, regardless of whatever mistakes mar her past. Catholic tradition instructs us to genuflect on the right knee before God alone, as in the Eucharist; but we may and should genuflect on our left knee to honor those of special worth. And so, as a man, I genuflect (interiorly) before every woman that I meet. Such inflamed reverence, allied with tenderness, is the only sure path to purity of heart: the sexual passions are so overwhelming that they do not yield to actions of the will and intellect unless those are themselves moved by passions more deep, purposeful, reliable and powerful. From the cross our Savior gave each of us a Mother, his own. I have found it miraculously helpful to consciously involve our Blessed Mother in every relationship, especially those that might be inflamed by sexual or romantic desire. Even more powerful, however, is the Eucharist: when I eat His Body and drink His Blood I ask Him to give me his attitude towards women...peaceful, confident, reverent, tender, delighted, generous, affirming, strong, protective, and innocent. The Eucharist, aided by regular confession, inflames me with a Love that purifies, lightens, and strengthens all my loves.