The Inner Structure, the Form of "Gay"

Gay is not the same as homosexual. Gay is a type of homosexuality. Many homosexuals are not gay.

<p>We have always had priests and religious who are homosexual and live holy, sacrificial, chaste, fruitful lives and are not gay. There are those, probably bi-sexual, with happy marriages and families, who may or may not indulge their urges quietly on the sidelines. And then there have always been those who are sexually active, with a partner and/or promiscuously, without making a public statement about it.  For example, notorious homosexual predators Maciel and McCarrick were not properly gay: living a double life, they publicly upheld a traditional viewpoint.

<p>These last two exemplify a profound pathological splitting: two aspects of personality are entirely cut off from each other. The gay narrative would apply this paradigm to all non-gay homosexuals, understanding them as "in denial of their true selves" and oppressed by the shame of internalized homophobia. I think not.

<p>Gay entails these proclamations:

<p>1. That homosexual activity is morally good.

<p>2. Self-identification as profoundly, substantially homosexual.

<p>3. Righteous, angry demand for moral approval from society and Church.

<p>4. Participation in an alternative gay culture and socio-religious-political movement.

<p>We have had homosexuality throughout history and across cultures; but the explosion of the Gay Movement in the 70s is a distinctive product of modernity and cultural liberalism. Its immense influence is the confluence of three powerful currents of modernity:

<p>1. The sterilization of sexuality; its rupture from fertility and conjugal sacramentality.

<p>2. The explosion of the identity politics of "victim groups" and the omnipresence of the Marxist model of oppressor/oppressed.

<p>3. The triumph of the therapeutic and the emergence of the narcissist as the characterological prototype of our time.

<p>IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION: The word "narcissist" in this essay is NOT  intended in the  deep, dark sense of the pathological Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Rather, it is used in a non-clinical, general sense of the tendency or trait shared, in some degree, on a scale, by all of us. It is not intrinsically bad. For example, my 2 and 4 and 6 year old grandsons clamoring for my attention is entirely wholesome and delightful. I am aware as I type this that a strong narcissistic impulse is at work in me: I love my thoughts and hope they will be admired by you, kind Reader. This is not my best trait, but is not perverse or sinful in itself. I hope that Dante and Shakespeare and even St. John took some narcissistic delight in their work. Our best entertainers, comedians, politicians and priests are often narcissistic as it lends a liveliness, an energy, a charm to their performance. At the Eucharistic Conference in Philadelphia in 1976 I saw in person Bishop Fulton Sheen, surely the most brilliant, holy, influential  American Catholic evangelist of the 20th Century. I was stunned by his flamboyance, histrionics, showmanship." Liberace in the Holy Spirit!"  Powerful narcissistic trait: but integrated into a personality inflamed with Faith-Hope-Love it became another gift used for God's glory and the edification of the Church. Many priests show this trait: but combined with generosity, compassion, filial loyalty to the Church, humility, immersion in the Word of God, and a good sense of humor, the negativities associated with the trait are overcome and it becomes a priestly asset. How monotonous our Church would be if all priests were low on the narcissistic scale!

<p> The core of Gay is not homosexuality, but an unrestrained narcissism. Gay is homosexual narcissism or narcissistic homosexuality. It is not merely the surrender of the will to the erotic urge; it is the declaration  that this urge is good, that this urge is defining of the self, that this urge must be granted public, moral approval. It is the eruption of an infantile demand.

<p>The narcissistic thrust inherent in the entire gay movement is shamelessly manifest in the current furor over the Florida law protecting parental prerogatives in sex education and restraining school instruction in grades 3 and under. Traditional religions, common sense, parental intuition and even Sigmund Freud recognize the "latent" nature of sexuality in children prior to puberty. They are happily innocent in this stage, assuming they are not violated. This normal innocence has been under assault for decades, especially by an entertainment world obsessed with sex and romance. The gay narrative of "born that way" further sexualizes the child by positing a fixed "orientation" present even in this latent period. Alan Ginsburg famously said, 60 years ago: "We will come for your children." The assault is now in full force. Psychologists understand that the narcissistic parent, lost in the fog of his own confused emotions,  is not able to be attuned to the needs of the child. And so, we have today the urgency of young adults, confused in identity, desperate to self-validate by inflicting their sexual ideology on children entirely incapable of understanding it. 

<p>Acceptance of Gay, it follows, is not truthful, authentic love. It is indulgence, codependency, enabling. It is normally well-intended, but an error, a mistake in judgment, that harms the homosexual and the entire community.  It is sentimentality, not charity-in-truth. It is confirmation of the homosexual in his false, indeed sinful identity. It is an infantilizing of the adult as a victim, as pathetic, as depleted of virile or feminine fertility, as diminished in paternity and maternity.

<p>The word Gay itself is a defiant deception: the condition is hardly happy, light-hearted, free. Unless embraced sacrificially as a cross, it is inexorably frustrating, futile, lonely and sad. To agree that the attraction, the activity, the lifestyle and the culture are all happy, freeing, life-giving...to even use the word Gay...is to affirm a lie.

<p>And so: to love the person with homosexual attraction in real compassion and truth is to renounce the word Gay and all it entails. It is to acknowledge the loneliness, sadness, and sense of futility. It is to see this as the Cross. It is to affirm his or her dignity as a man or woman; as a father or mother; as a child of God and brother/sister in Christ.