What to Make of the Enneagram?

I've been having fun this week figuring out if I am a five with a six wing or a six with a five wing. But seriously: The Enneagram...is it a valuable body of insight to be used for psychological/spiritual flourishing...or a comouflaged occult practice from the demons?

I would say none of the above. (Disclaimer: I have the very slightest exposure to the thing!) I see it as entertainment, fun, a parlor game. Like playing monopoly, reading a Harry Potter book, or watching a Jason Bourne movie. These are diverting, restful, enjoyable. Inherently not evil or holy.

Of course everything has its proper place and proportion. If my enneagrm-loving nephews invited me to an Enneagram party, with drinks and good snacks, I would happily go and argue about who is which type. (Oh smack! You are SUCH an eight!) But if they start a club with private meetings, secret initiations and binding vows...I will decline!

A quick historical search shows that its pedegree as science, philosophy and religion is zero. There is "no there there." While there are faint resemblances in the ancients and Sufi mysticism, there doesn't seem to be any real substantial continuity. It was started 100 years ago by a Russian "mystic"Gurdgieff. In the 1960s (Buyer Beware!) a clever Bolivian (Ichazo) and a creative Chilean (Naranjo) spun it into an engaging collage. Then it simply went viral.

Why its popularity? Because in the therapeutic era, the culture of narcicissm, it is an appealing exercise in self-contemplation. The vanity, the egotism of the Self delights in pondering: really, what type am I?

Real science measures and studies the actual; real philosophy ponders the nature, purposes, and structure of existence; real faith is reaching out to God. The eneagram seems not to come under any of these sciences. It assumes a horoscope predetermination of a rigid nine-point typology with some obscure origin. It reminds me of the "values clarification" that was so popular in the 70s: If you were a car, what would you be?

There are any number of academic and popular models that seem to offer help in self-reflection: Myers-Briggs (expecially extrovert-introvert binary), birth order factor, languages of love, and of course the unfathomable and boundless contemplation of masculinity/femininity. But the Enneagram to me lacks validity and solidity.

And so: the sight of Catholic retreat houses hosting enneagram weekends is not encouraging. It suggests a slide into new age superficiality and sentiment. Overload on cotton candy! A detraction from real food: meat, vegetbles and potatoes!

But honestly: Dear Reader! Do you see me as a five or a six?