"Antifragility," title of a book by Nassim Talib, is developed by Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff in The Coddling of the American Mind, a book that I received from Uncle Joe and gave to Uncle Dave.
The word means more than robust, in the sense that something can withstand shocks, stressors and attacks. It means that something gets stronger and flourishes, precisely because of attacks, competition, stress, and persecution.
You are ANTI-FRAGILE!
Let's contrast: Fragile is something that breaks easily, like a piece of china. Non-fragile is something that doesn't break easily, like a baby's plastic cup that can be dropped. But Antifragile is something that gets stronger the more it is stressed.
Your muscles are antifragile. The more you work them, stress them, push them even into pain, the stronger you become. The worst thing you could do for your muscles is to stay in bed for three months, do no exercise, and they will atrophy and become weak.
Your immune system is anti-fragile. When you expose yourself to bacteria, viruses, infections, and injuries your immune system fires itself up to combat the attacker. You become more resilient, robust, tough and durable. If you could entirely shield yourself from germs your immune system would atrophy; you would become delicate and vulnerable; you might die of the common cold.
(I suggest you cut down on hand washings, stay away from sanitizers entirely, avoid gloves, and reduce your hand wash time from 18 to 6 seconds. You might NOT want to tell your Mom or Dr. Anthony Fauci about this advice, but if you do, don't worry, I am not fragile! LOL!)
(A huge believer in antifragility, before I knew the word, I despised the pandemic lockdowns, masking, social distancing. But I love the vaccines. A vaccine works with antifragility: the idea is not to quarantine yourself from the attacker, but to prudently expose yourself to small quantities so that your immune system swings into defense and develops protection when the big attacks come. )
Children from large families benefit from herd immunities: there are so many children around, many of them carrying germs, that you are constantly exposed and your immune system works on all cylinders. When I was 12 and playing basketball with 7 other boys and one had a soda, we would pass the bottle around and each take a swig. If I was last, I would receive germs from the other 7. This was a great workout for my immune system. Even better if there were 12 boys!
Your generation, unfortunately, suffers from "saftyism" and overprotection. Washing your hands all the time will reduce exposure to germs, it will also leave you with an anemic immune system. You have been cursed by a pervasive anxiety that you are fragile and must be protected above all things. Helicopter moms! Cell phones on person at all times! Always supervised, never unsupervised sports! News and social media obsessed with mass shootings!
Example: when my Clare was 17 and Margaret Rose 15 we handed them the keys to the car and sent them together to Prince Edward Island for a weeklong Catholic retreat. That is in Canada; a two day drive; entailing an overnight in a hotel. Some thought us irresponsible and reckless. I had complete confidence: strong, confident, intelligent and entirely competent, they were...and are...antifragile! (Aside: maternal love tends to be more protective and risk-averse; but on this your Grandmother and I were in agreement.)
Worst of all is an intellectual delicacy that shrinks from disagreement and argument. Today's college students (not all to be sure) retreat from engagement with ideas that differ from their own. So, we have cancel culture. For example, Fleckinstein, were his views to be widely known, would certainly be banned from Ivy League or prominent Catholic universities as a misogynist, racist and homophobe. Even the brightest are so dainty, intellectually, that they would be incapable of engaging with him in a calm, charitable, respectful manner.
This is even more true on the spiritual level! Our Lord in the gospels and St. Paul in the epistles tell us to expect tribulations, trials, persecutions, even death. This is what it means to follow Jesus to Calvary. You will NOT have a soft, easy, pleasant life. You WILL have an arduous, challenging, painful life. Rejoice! As you face, accept, endure, and prevail through bad things your character is formed in virtue and honor. You become better.
Jesus actually told us we would be able to handle snakes and drink poison! He told us "Do Not Be Afraid" a kazillion-badillion times! Your great-grandparents were the Great Generation. Why so great? Because their moral character was tested and purified by the suffering of the Great Depression and World War II. We are all beneficiaries of that endurance and fortitude! May you inherit that courage, patience, and resilience as you face your own daily trials!
Final thought: I love writing these letters to you. I only ask that you calmly consider them. I expect no response. But I would enjoy any reaction: agreement, question and especially disagreement. I am 75 years old this year. I am conservative. You are growing up in an entirely different world. It is inevitable and wholesome for you to disagree with me. It would do us both good to exchange views. I will not melt if you differ...I am antifragile...you are too!
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