My many SSA friends love me, and I love them. Gay-denying, homophile Fleckinstein
We are drawn to each other. We like, respect, enjoy each other. Perhaps 20 percent of my best friends over the years have been SSA. Since the homosexual demographic is estimated at 3 to 4 percent, I clearly have a friendship preference for them. Why they like me they will have to say. But I know why I like them. There is nothing erotic or romantic here...on their part or mine. I enjoy wholesome, chaste friendships with them in their rich virility. Homosexual men are frequently sensitive, empathetic, intelligent, informative, fun, funny, clever, sarcastic, cynical, tender, affectionate, vulnerable, kind, generous, religious, aesthetic, artistic, and appreciative. You see why I am such a homophile! Yes, even those who self-identify as "gay" I find interesting, fun, delightful and admirable (in some ways).
Homosexual is Not Gay
These two words are NOT synonyms. The homosexual attraction can take at least four paths, only one of which is "gay."
The traditional Catholic way is chastity as abstinence from sexual intercourse and marriage. The single man, religious or priest here satisfies his emotional yearnings in friendships, family, service to Church/community, and prayer intimacy with the Lord. Our lives have been immensely enriched by these quiet, humble, anonymous heroes. I am sure there is a special Medal of Honor in heaven for them in their silent, sacrificial self-giving.
The second path is the double life: the married man or priest acts out in secret. This produces, obviously, a split psyche/spirit, toxic levels of hypocrisy/deception, a more or less persistent state of anxiety, shame, guilt and tension. This is a sin of the flesh, not so much of the intellect. The secrecy, arguably, witnesses to moral truth. So, for example the famed clerical and even Vatican "purple mafia" acknowledges the moral truth of sexuality by its hiddenness.
By contrast, the third path, the "gay" option, renounces the moral order and approves these acts. The attraction here is inflated into an identity, an ideology, a cult, a movement, an idolatry. The classic identification of sex with marriage, children, and fidelity is disparaged as homophobic and hateful. The gay movement is inherently anti-Catholic as Catholicism is anti-Gay, although loving of the homosexual and therefore homophilic. Gay-affirmation is incompatible with Catholicism properly understood.
A final, unheralded path is one I have noticed in my circles. Here we have same-sex couples living together openly but quietly, without all the "pride." I have family and friends that live such. We all know about it. But we don't discuss it. They surely know and seem to respect my own Catholic viewpoint. If they did "marry" in some ceremony they might not invite me or at least not take offense in my declining to participate. This is a certain "live and let live" or "don't ask don't tell." They would not insist that Catholic adoption agencies place children with gay couples or that florists be compelled by the state to serve their marriages.
If the second path of secrecy is destructive, and the first and third are opposed to each other, this last path suggests a way to peace. Unlike abortion which entails a hard binary, this way may diminish the hostilities of the Culture War.
In three of the paths homosexuality finds a way to live with Catholicism: the first in purity, the second in duplicity, the last in an ambiguous anonymity. The "gay" path, however, in all its faux-sacramental paraphenalia of parades, rainbows and "coming out" rituals is aggressive, transgressive, narcissistic, and histrionic in its contempt for the Catholic cult of chastity and fecundity.
Fourth Path: "Gay" or Just Homosexual?
Do we understand the couple living quietly together, without social activism, as "gay" or just homosexual? I strongly believe it is a slander to describe anyone as "gay" unless they themselves publicly identify as such. A same-sex couple living together may or may not be sexually active; we don't know unless they tell us. They may be "just friends" as we know in our Catholic tradition of many, especially women, even nuns, who live together as sisters. They may be trying to live chastely and confessing when they act out. Especially our younger generation throws the word "gay" around freely. My own view is that it is a vile slander to say anyone is gay or even SSA unless that is shared by the person.
Homosexual Priests?
No...and Yes. The pertinent Church ruling is that men with "deep seated" homosexual inclinations are not to be admitted to the priesthood. The meaning of this key phrase "deep seated" is not specified. But a common sense understanding would rule out: those with current or recent history of acting out; compulsivity or obsession including porn and masturbation; affirmation of the gay agenda; rejection of the Church's teaching on chastity and the unitive/creative meaning of sexuality as taught in Humanae Vitae and the catechesis on the human body of John Paul; difficulties with authority, accepting or exercising it; narcissistic or histrionic traits; weakness in masculine self-confidence; and low capacity for spiritual paternity.
By this logic, a man attracted to men could be considered for the priesthood if his attraction is mild; he easily lives chastity; his inclination is counterbalanced by masculine maturity and confidence, paternal competence, acceptance of Church teaching, wholesome relationships with men and women, and a robust intimacy with our Lord in prayer.
However the bar for sexual society for the SSA candidate should be high in light of the condition of our Church. The priest sex scandal was overwhelmingly one of homosexual predation upon adolescent men. The litany of homosexual abuse (Maciel, McCarrick, etc) and the increasingly credible "purple mafia" of the clergy and Vatican continues to scourge our Church.
Widespread Acceptance of Gay Sexuality
The radical shift in popular opinion about active homosexuality over the last 20 years is unprecedented. Just two decades ago, leading progressives like Obama were opposed to gay marriage. Such a position today is considered extreme. Some of this is due to the judicial activism of the Supreme Court. It is especially strong upon the young who now view gay sex as normal. This enormous sea change is the result of deeper cultural currents set loose in the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s and now bearing fruit after 50 years.
The core of that revolution was the emergence of an isolating individualism, detached from God and the eternal, history, tradition, and authority. This included:
1. The sterilization of sex in contraception, its detachment from spousal fidelity/fecundity, and its reconfiguration as romance, fulfillment and mutual satisfaction.
2. The deconstruction of masculinity as paternity and femininity as maternity.
3. An unrecognized pandemic of sexual addictions starting with pornography, masturbation, cohabitation and contraception.
4. The triumph of the "therapeutic" as personal fulfillment, defined now by psychology, replaced the traditional ethos of selflessness, sacrifice, and loyalty to institutions that transcend the individual.
5. Prevalence of narcissism across a celebrity culture.
6. A cult of "victimhood" which grants moral status to the oppressed in identity politics, especially critical race theory and the LGBTQ project.
7. Suspicion of all authority as oppressive power due to the eclipse of the eternal and transcendent.
8. Breakdown of the family, Church, and the small/intermediate communities/organizations which flow into and out of them. In their place we have the hegemony of an expanded state and global corporate order: mega-institutions and the isolated individual.
9. Vast expansion of sex as a need and glorification of sexual license as liberation.
10. The pervasive, delusional "Romantic" myth that happiness will be found in the arms of a "soul mate."
And so the gay project is the culmination and epitome of delusions around the liberated-because-now-isolated individual that structure liberalism and progressive modernity.
Conclusion
Same sex attraction in itself is a sadness, a suffering, a cross. It becomes a badge of honor, however unheralded, when it is carried quietly, humbly, patiently, chastely and generously.
Its origins remain obscure but it certainly entails an interchange between a predisposition of sensitivity and sensibility and a range of environmental dynamics.
It is often accompanied by extraordinary gifts of empathy, intuition, intelligence, and appreciation. It can also be accompanied by a range of pathologies involving masculine confidence, authority, paternity, fraternity and others.
The "gay" project is something else! It epitomizes the worst toxicities of the Sexual Revolution: self-indulgence, narcissism, histrionics, rage at authority, self-pity as a "victim class," arrogance, and individualism.
It is for us as Catholic to welcome these, our brothers and sisters, including those who fall into the gay delusion, in tenderness, reverence...and truth.
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