The two are entirely different animals. To conflate them is to do an injustice and a deception. Conversion therapy is alien to the Catholic mind; reparative is congenial.
Conversion Therapy
Understood as the effort to change or convert one from homosexuality to heterosexuality, this is, on the face of it, based simply on the word, offensive and violent, for many reasons.
1.In dealing with emotions, passions, longings, attractions we do not apply a "conversion model" to other conditions: depression, addiction, anxiety, anger ,eating disorder, loneliness, insecurity, etc. Conversion, properly understood, is the interior movement, in freedom, from one attitude to another...intellectually, morally, socially, emotionally, spiritually. If there is any element of coercion, of exterior force, however subtle, it is violent. For example, the Catholic Church has clearly renounced the historic effort to convert the Jews in contrite regret. An effort to change someone emotionally or interiorly, especially the young, is repulsive.
2. The hard binary of hetero/homo is invalid. In human sexuality there is an enormous complexity, fluidity, density and mystery. While most are predominantly attracted to the other or the same sex, there is great diversity. We know many are clearly bisexual: celebrities commonly switch back and forth. Heterosexual men, in deprived situations like warfare and prison, are known to temporarily practice homosexual acts. A friend of mine... daily communicant, successful businessman, happily married, mentor to younger men...was such a raging sex addict 25 years ago that when he had no availability of women sex partners he cruised for anonymous encounters with men. I understand he is now living a faithful, chaste, sober, sacramental life.
3. This use of the hetero/homo binary is the same error as that of crude homophobia and of the "gay movement." All three erroneously attribute a substantiality, a hard reality, an identity to sexual orientation. There is no such thing as "sexual orientation." There is a universe of sexual attractions, fascinations, obsessions. Homosexuality is overrated: by homophobes, by gays, and by fundamentalist "converters." It is not such a big deal; it is garden variety concupiscence. I myself do NOT identify as a heterosexual or a homosexual. That is not who I am. My sexual attractions are multiple, complex, incoherent, overwhelming, exhilarating, sometimes holy and heroic, sometimes decadent and selfish...but they do NOT define who I am.
I know and love many men who are attracted to men: they are not queer or fagged, they are not gay (although they may so self-identify), they are not in need of "conversion." They are, like myself and all of us, complex, marvelous, precious, and troubled by the multiple disorders of concupiscence.
Reparative Therapy
As articulated by Elizabeth Moberly and Joseph Nicolosi, this is not an effort to convert from one state to another. It is the intention to repair what is harmed. (What follows deals with male, not so much with female, sexuality.)
No one is "born gay" because humans are born with a flexible/fluid, rather than an instinctive/animal-like/structured sexuality. No one is born a heterosexual, or a rapist, or a voyeur, or an exhibitionist, or a polygamist, or a celibate, and so forth. When sexuality erupts, after about a dozen years of life experience, it is effected by all kinds of life engagements, especially with parents, family, peers and trauma. A reputable survey of research, several years ago, headed by a gay activist, found, to the consternation of LGBTQ proponents, that about 30% of homosexuality is genetic or biological; 70% is environmental or experiential. In this case, nurture trumps nature.
The following dynamics are often, but NOT ALWAYS, associated with same sex attraction: weak or negative connection with father, poor relations with other boys (including the "sports wound"), bad body image (too thin, too fat), over-involvement with mother, and homosexual violation. We can easily imagine that a young man with a predisposition who experiences some combination of these dynamics might unconsciously sexualize his longings for the masculine and discover the same sex attraction in puberty.
The purpose of reparative therapy, therefore, is to repair the harm, especially to one's masculine self-identity. Key to this is development of strong, intimate, chaste relationships with stable, sexually sober men. This would include older, mentor-father figures as well as peers. It requires strengthening in sexual sobriety or chastity entailing abstinence from pornography, masturbation, and any homosexual activity. Manly physical activity, including athletics, outdoor activity, manual labor, and teamwork with other men is helpful. Also, strengthened family relations. Finally, prayer and the sacramental life, including devotion to Mary and Joseph.
Most important is that this practice NOT be applied in a rigid, absolute manner. For example, it is not true that all homosexuals have bad relationships with their father. I know of one young man who was very close to his father, a virile, confident, fireman, single parent, acutely attentive to and close to his son. The boy did however suffer a timidity and difficulty with other boys. He avoided socializing with them. He developed a same-sex attractions. It is less than likely that you will find a homosexual who is entirely free of these factors.
I am sure there are cases where this is practiced in an insensitive, inattentive, dogmatic fashion. This would of course be received as violation. But properly understood and practiced, it promises to be fruitful, not in converting anyone, but in repairing past harms, reducing compulsivity/pathology and enhancing wholesome masculinity. The ideal scenario is not a conversion from one alleged "orientation" to another, but freedom from dissonance, anxiety, guilt, and shame and strengthening of masculinity in confidence, virtue, serenity and generosity.
Why I Love Reparative Therapy
I was introduced to the work of Moberly and Nicolosi over 20 years ago by a friend dealing with his same sex attractions. I jumped for joy! For myself! This was just what I myself need, in my own attractions to women. I have been described, by Columbian women with whom I worked, laughingly, as a "mujeriego" which is translated as "one who is crazy about women." The diagnosis is accurate. My difficulties with chastity included: fear of and yet fascination with attractive women, insecurity and anxiety in my own virility, raw lust, romantic infatuation, intrusive thoughts, fear of womanly disapproval, disregard for the feminine, adulterous impulses, temptations toward pornography, pervasive if low grade shame and anxiety. No, this is not Catholic guilt complex! This is garden variety concupiscence. I am an ordinary guy: not better or worse than others.
I determined to diminish my compulsivity and enhance my virtuous virility by an informal practice of reparative therapy: wholesome, holy, male friendships; mentoring, spiritual direction, and regularity in confession; chaste, positive, tender, generous relationships with women, especially in the family (obviously my wife above all); and a deepening in my prayer life. These practices have, I believe, strengthened me in masculine virtue and and opened me in reverence, tenderness, gratitude and generosity toward women. But the spiritual battle continues: I delight in the freedom and vigor I have received. God's grace will triumph; but the world, the flesh and the devil are relentless. A priest in confession told me that I will be freed from these afflictions only when my body is cold in the grave four days.
Tell me: Do any of us NOT need reparative therapy?
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