Favorite Movie Romances

Note dear Reader that these are movie romances, not all are romantic movies. But your comments are welcomed: what would you add?

20. El Cid

19. As Good as it Gets

18. Lost in Translation

17. Silver Lining's Playbook

16. Moonstruck

15. It Happened One Night

14. Cinderella Man

13. When Harry Met Sally

12. The King and I

11. West Side Story

10. Sound of Music 

9. Princess Bride

8. Casablanca 

7. The Quiet Man

6. Tender Mercies

5. Life is Beautiful

4. It's a Wonderful Life

3. Last of the Mohicans 

2. On the Waterfront

1. Roman Holiday

Totalitarian Mercy

 Mercy is not everything.

What is Mercy? My definition: the free, generous, gratuitous response of abundance and grace to need, suffering and guilt. 

That we as creatures exist at all is merciful, as we are "created from nothing" out of free, spontaneous, gratuitous love. That we, in Jesus Christ, are forgiven of our sins is entirely merciful...unmerited, unnecessary.

Within the internal, eternal life of God...prior to creation and salvation...there is no mercy as there is no need, guilt or suffering. God's very self is an Event of Love...of gift, of exaltation, of delight...but not of compassion as there is no "passion" in the sense of suffering, deprivation, need or guilt. With creation, freedom, sin, incarnation, salvation...God takes us humans into his Trinitarian life so we might say God "becomes" merciful. It is not that he lacked anything before this, rather his absolute perfection and completion is further amplified by creating and saving us. No process theology here!

Mercy is not everything.

For us humans, finite and sinful, it is the main thing. But it is not everything.

There is also Freedom: the God-given (a gamble on his part, quite reckless!) capacity to refuse mercy. Lucifer and his coterie neither ask for, receive or disperse mercy. And he offers us that same option. Not-Mercy is a reality. We can and do chose it. Mercy is not everything.

There is Justice: also known as retribution (which is NOT revenge or resentment) whereby good is rewarded and evil is punished. Lucifer and his coterie are in hell eternally; and that is a good thing. The executions of Nuremberg and of Eichmann in Jerusalem were good things, just, not unmerciful.

There is the holy Wrath of God against sin and evil. Mary, the angels and saints participate in this. 

There is Truth. The reality of God, heaven, Satan, evil and sin...these cannot be annihilated by compassion.

A mercy that denies freedom, justice, wrath and truth is cheap and sentimental, rooted in feeling not reality. But it is worse than that: it becomes smothering, oppressive, totalitarian.

Divine Mercy Revealed to St. Faustina and Taught by St. John Paul

The most significant visitation of heaven on earth in the 20th century was...in my opinion... the revelations to St. Faustina and their articulation by John Paul II. Yes...more significant than the Marian apparitions,  Pentecostalism, Ecumenism, Vatican II, Theology of the Body, Resourcement/Communio theology, the marriage of Personalism and Thomism, or the liberation and civil rights movements!

It's splendor is that it is a creative, but organic development within Catholicism which give prominence to Divine Mercy but maintains connection with Freedom, Justice, Truth and Holy Wrath.  It is not a rearrangement or reconstruction but an authentic growth in the Deposit of Faith.

In discussion of the developments of Vatican II, Monsignor Tom Guarino helpfully uses the idea of chiaroscuro, the shifting of light/darkness that brings certain realities into prominence. And so, the revelations of Mercy were classic, but so forceful that they produced a creative but organic re-gestalt. For example, for centuries the Church did not grant Catholic burial to victims of suicide since it was seen as a mortal sin. But the 1983 Code of Canon Law and the Catechism both changed this, emphasizing the Divine Mercy as well as awareness of the psychological realities that diminish freedom.

Papacy of Francis: Cheapened Mercy

Early in the 21st century, a brilliant satanic strategy unfolded: the Liar did not resist this force but latched onto it and perverted it by detaching it from other realities of justice, evil, freedom, and holy wrath. An isolated, inflated, unbalanced  mercy became the underlying hallmark of the Francis pontificate as it manifested in many areas. 

Death Penalty

 This is the most explicit, clear, heretical break with Tradition. For centuries, the use of lethal force (warfare, police, capital punishment) has been considered the responsibility of the state to be prudentially exercised when necessary in defense of the common good as protection, deterrence, rehabilitation and retribution. John Paul and Benedict both upheld this view even as they argued pragmatically for the abolition of the process in modern circumstances as not necessary. So they upheld the inherent right and responsibility of the state to use it when required. They argued, for example, that modern prisons were good enough for protection. This was itself a weak argument since we know that violence, murder and gang activity are prevalent in prisons around the globe.

By dictatorial fiat, without episcopal consultation (Where is "synodality" when we need it?) or engagement with Tradition, Pope Francis ruled capital punishment permanently "inadmissible" (a strange word here.)

He thereby crossed a line that John Paul and Benedict respected. But John Paul had planted the seeds. He dismissed "retribution" as an adequate reason in itself and stated it was allowable only when necessary for protection of society. He did not explain this easy dismissal of "retribution." 

Cardinal Ratzinger was more accurate and specific. Even as he advanced the crusade to abolish capital punishment, he specified that there was space in Catholic practice for disagreement on the issue. So, he clarified that a Catholic might in good faith disagree with the Vatican (and many bishops) on the issue and so even implement it as legislator, prosecutor, judge or jury without necessarily sinning. Such a person may properly receive Holy Communion, in contrast to those who implement or advocate abortion of the unborn or euthanasia of the infirm.

Retribution

Underlying this debate is the understanding of "retribution."  A drastic change occurred in modernity: from retribution as justice to it as revenge.

Traditionally, God is understood as absolute Justice and Mercy. Justice means retribution: the good is rewarded and the evil is punished. The angels in heaven and the demons in hell; Lazarus and Dives; the sheep and the goats. This permeates the Scriptures and our Tradition. Lucifer is defeated by St. Michael and by our Blessed Mother: this is just, it is not unmerciful.  And so, retribution as justice, as punishment and reward, is itself inherently good. If the delinquent or criminal is punished, this is a good thing, not a bad thing. So, authorities on earth...parents, teachers, police, judges...image the justice and retribution of God on earth precisely in the punitive. 

Especially since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s, retribution has been reconfigured as revenge, hatred, violent. To refer to someone as punitive or juridic is disparaging, not admiring. This leaves a cheapened mercy as the contrary of a demeaned retribution. 

Consider the execution of Eichmann in 1961 (or any of the Nuremburg defendants.) He was a feeble, elderly, pathetic figure. His execution was not required to protect the Jews or anyone else. It was surely an exercise in retribution. Classically, this is seen as a good, a just, a proper thing. But in the new paradigm of Francis it would be unnecessary, uncharitable and evil. 

I for one go with Tradition.

Pacifism

Similarly, Francis and now Leo have both stated that war is no longer a moral option. This is also a break with tradition. Catholicism has always allowed pacifism as an option for individuals, but not as binding upon state authorities responsible for defense against aggressors. Here again we return for sanity and sobriety to Cardinal Ratzinger:  he stated in an official note that renunciation of lethal means might in fact enable and even collaborate with bad actors. We see in China, North Korea, Iran, Russia and other nations that war is not the greatest evil on earth. 

Here cheap  mercy allies itself with a delusional expectation that conflict can be resolved and aggression prevented by non-violent means of negotiation, education, dialogue and so forth. This is in effect a denial of the actual reality of evil in our world...a reality that will abide until the coming of Christ,  a reality that regularly requires the just, authoritative use of lethal force.

Blessing of Homosexual Unions

This is perhaps a more grave expression of cheap mercy. The unions here blessed are essentially defined by sinful acts. And yet, the union is blessed. It is not that the individuals, detached from the sin, are blessed. But the very union itself is blessed. 

Our saints who most powerfully manifested Mercy were equally ferocious in their holy hatred of sin. St. Maria Goretti battled her attacker, pleading for him to respect her and his chastity, and absorbed multiple stabs. Later, from heaven, she extended a mercy grounded in holiness. St. Teresa of Lisieux prayed fervently for the soul of the one to be executed, pleading that he be spared hell. St. Faustina, the Apostle of Mercy herself, is flamingly aware of hell. 

By contrast, we see in Pope Francis a nonchalance, a normalization of sin. Cheap mercy.

Holy Communion for Divorced-Remarried-not-Annulled 

Catholics are set apart, even from other Christians, in our reverence for the Eucharist and Matrimony. The two mutually define each other: Eucharist is the self-gift of the Bridegroom Christ to his bridal Church; marriage, in its finality and indissolubility, is iconic of the absolute, final gift of Christ. 

By another dictatorial fiat...without episcopal consent (synodality?) or engagement with Tradition, Pope Francis implemented a momentous change with a footnote in Amoris Latetiae. He granted that a remarried-but-not-annulled person might be granted access to the Eucharist in some circumstances. This was done in a stealthy, dishonest way: in a footnote. This has bitterly polarized the Church: Germans allow communion; Poles do not. Can both be right? Do we still have a united Catholic Church? A decision of this gravity does require episcopal consent, not mere notification. 

This is done in the name of mercy, but a cheap version at the expense of truth. The prohibition is to protect the sanctity of both the Eucharist and Matrimony. It is not a judgment on the subjective state of ones soul; not a social shunning; not about feelings or inclusion. If I have divorced my wife, I remain in a valid marriage unless it is annulled. It is better for everyone that I abstain from the Eucharist. The holiness of marriage and 

Boundaries

Mercy require form, structure, order and boundaries lest it become sentimental, volatile, chaotic, violent and oppressive. Love requires Truth. The Francis Papacy had difficulties with this.

Immigration.  The admirable empathy for refugees, by the Vatican and bishops, is not always balanced by awareness of a contrasting reality: the need for secure borders. And so, in their political advocacy, the hierarchy has in part alienated itself from valid populist anxieties about security and risked alignment with leftist ideologies of the progressive, global elite.

Church Governance. The Vatican is striving for some DEI balance in placing laity and especially women in positions of influence. In this they defer to a toxic, clericalist status envy. By Holy Orders men are set aside...from family, marriage, wealth...to sanctify, teach and govern the Church. We laity have a cosmos of family-politics-business-culture-education-information to govern; we do not need to govern the Church.

"Synodality"   Here again the distinct missions of hierarchy and laity are confused. If this convoluted word is an exhortation to attentive/empathetic listening by everyone, we can welcome it. But, unfortunately, it really is a new, burdensome, bureaucratic process which diminishes the authority of bishops in favor of a vacuous airing of progressive grievances. 

The progressive compulsion, evident in the Francis papacy, is to confuse the role of laity and clergy. The laity are pushed into clerical jobs. The hierarchy intrudes into the secular/lay arena of political policy with a preferred set of positions on war, immigration, climate and other.

Pope Leo

I cherish positive, modest, realistic expectations of Pope Leo. Fortunately, he is free of the anarchistic, "make-a-mess" impulsivity of Francis. He is a man of the Church, of intelligence and competence, of caution,  of the poor, of prayer, of institutional continuity, of peace and unity. He aspires, unrealistically, to a reconciliation of this polarized Church. He does not manifest the theological depth or decisiveness to correct his predecessor whom he clearly emulates. He intends to continue the legacy of Francis. 

We will likely have to look elsewhere...to John Paul, Benedict, their disciples and predecessors...for the acclamation of an integral Mercy, kind and generous at the same time just, true, and holy.

....................................................................                                                                    +-9=7o0j]o9ujyhredazSXCVBN MMaria Gioretti ;'

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Spiritual Exercises in the Psych Unit

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

the Courage to change the things I can;

and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Thursdays at 10 AM I present on "Spiritual Care" in the psychiatric unit of our local hospital, Jersey Shore Hackensack Meridian.  I introduce myself as a volunteer chaplain, neither professional, nor certified nor ordained; a layman. I elicit immediate interest when I say that, with family and friends, I have directed a residence for low-income women, many who come from psych wards like the one in which we gather, for 17 years. 

I highlight that  I am NOT a physical trainer, noting my small muscles, expanded waistline, and lifetime avoidance of vegetables, weight-lifting, and stretching. But...if I were to offer physical exercises...breathing, stretching, resistance, walking... they would benefit everyone, regardless of body type...small/large, old/young, woman/man. And so, I continue, I will offer spiritual exercises that are good for everyone, regardless of religion and beliefs, since we all share the same human spirit. 

What I offer is largely the practices of the 12-step traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous and related programs. (Not the sophisticated itinerary of St. Ignatius of Loyola.)

Gratitude

I ask what they are grateful for about being here, in this place. Answers come easily: I am getting the help I need. I have a roof and meals. I woke up this morning. I like the people here. As they answer I offer small plastic bottles of water; several accept and say thank you. I ask: what did you say? Thank you. I ask: During those seconds of gratitude for the water, are you angry? anxious? depressed? jealous? regretful?

I recall an Oprah Winfrey show of 25 years ago. She had very glamorous celebrities who all witnessed to a radical change of life. They all were "born again." Went from depressed/jealous/anxious/regretful to joyful/serene/hopeful/confident. What changed them? Their gratitude journal. They had adopted the practice every night before going to sleep of writing five things of their day for which they were grateful.

I share a habit I have developed: When something bad happens...bang my toe, hit my head, get stuck in traffic when I am late for something, etc... instead of cursing the thing, I thank. I calmly voice "thank you, thank you, thank you." It is marvelous: when I focus off the pain and onto thanks the pain diminishes, markedly. I recall that our mental attention is like our visual focus: we concentrate on one thing at a time, and all else fades into the background. I recall the Lamaze child-birthing classes wherein the mother in labor focuses away from the contraction pain at a spot on the wall, on moving her hands across her belly and a specific breathing pattern. And so, in gratitude all the toxic emotions decrease.

Another helpful habit: when my mood is down I quietly count on my fingers 10 things I am grateful for: things very small and very large. At the end of the simple exercise, my mood lifts. I then invite everyone to join me in quietly doing that very exercise.

I encourage them to be grateful for their specific body. Many of us are unhappy with our bodies. But, we are breathing, walking and we have reserves of energy and stamina. This is a great gift, however imperfect by some societal standard.

I encourage gratitude for the stay in the hospital as a sabbath or sabbatical: an opportunity to relax and rest for a while, to breathe deep and slow,  detach from stress and pressure, get deserved help, make friendships, reset, reconnect with loved ones and with God.

Powerless

Admitted we were powerless over _______; that our lives had become unmanageable.  (Step 1)

Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could return us to sanity.  (Step 2)

EVERYONE has "a thing." Something that is overwhelming, uncontrollable, invincible when it strikes. Our freedom and will power  are real, but very, very small in comparison with "the thing." The thing can be addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, work, shopping, eating...) or an emotional condition (anxiety, depression, anger, jealousy...) I explain the nature of the 12-step programs. Usually a few people are very familiar with them. I mention that I had attended years ago a number of EA (Emotions Anonymous) meetings which I found very helpful. 

The first step is to give up the fight. To surrender. To breathe slow and say: Yes, I am an alcoholic or sex addict or rage-aholic. On my own will power and resources I cannot control the thing.  To cease from "white knuckling" which is the acceleration of pressure as the will fights the impulse, the fists tighten and the knuckles whiten until an explosion of the compulsion.

But the surrender is not to despair. Rather, step two is "came to believe that a power greater than myself could return me to sanity." Trust: that there is Something...Someone great, powerful, merciful, kind...who can rescue me. So, we call for help. We call out to heaven as we look for help from others.

Analogy. We are about a mile from the Jersey Shore beaches of Belmar, Avon, and Spring Lake. I ask what to do if caught in a rip tide at the beach. They all know NOT to swim against the rip tide as that will exhaust us and we will drown. Rather: accept the rip tide, "go with it" in a degree, attempt to swim parallel with the shore and wave for help to the lifeguard and friends. 

Analogy. In my supervisory career in UPS I was sent to "skid school" put on by Liberty Mutual in which I was trained how to train tractor drivers how to handle a skid. It was thrilling: we would drive a tractor-trailer and the trainer would randomly engage the brakes and put us into a skid on ice. The impulse, of course, is to slam on the brakes and turn out of the skid. That is the worst possible reaction as the tires freeze, no traction is attained, and you continue helpless in the skid. Rather, realizing you are in a skid, you do the counter-intuitive: you steer directly into the skid so that tires are directed with the skid, and you gently-at-first feather the brakes, slowly gaining traction until you are able to brake or steer out of the skid. As with the riptide and the "thing," there is an acceptance and a partial surrender as you take alternate steps to be free from calamity.

Analogy.  A marathoner in the Rocky Mountains ran directly into a Grizzly Bear. As the bear tore him apart he recalled that a punch to the nose of a bear could startle him and make him flee. As he started to box, the animal became more angry and forceful. Realizing the fight was futile, the man went limp and dropped to the ground. At that precise second, a sound in the leaves startled the bear who ran away. The man survived, claiming that an angel had rescued him. For our purposes, the point is that in that situation surrender was far superior to fight. 

And so I invite all of us to quietly, prayerfully admit our powerlessness as we ask for help.

Powerless over Others

Next we do some Alanon stuff: about codependency of those very close to the compulsive. I recall an Irish Catholic priest friend (who originally directed me towards the 12-steps) who had never lived anywhere where (family, seminary, rectories, retreat centers, missions) where there was not an alcoholic living. If I am close to anyone with such a condition, I am powerfully pulled into the chaos and some kind of codependency: anger, victimization, enabling, etc. And so, Alanon (and related programs like Adult Children of Alcoholics, etc.) assist us to cut the toxic bonds and "detach with love." The goal is to protect our own integrity and peace, so that we might more freely love the other in truth. 

We recall the "three Cs": I did not cause it, I do not control it, I will not cure it. 

And so, we admit another type of powerlessness: over the condition of the one we love. And we again  again surrender, looking in trust to heaven and to those around us sent from heaven.

Reconciliation

The Straight Story movie is real fact: a septuagenarian in poor health (diabetes, overweight, bad diet) learns that his brother suffered a stroke. They had not spoken in 25 years; but do not remember why as they were drinking. They live hundreds of miles from each other. Alvin Straight decides to drive his John Deere tractor mower, pulling a trailer with tent, sleeping bag, hot dogs and soda. The movie is his odyssey or pilgrimage: good things and bad things. He arrives to see his brother sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch. He quietly sits next to him. They sit together, without speaking. Finally, his brother turns to him: "Alvin, did you drive from your home, on that tractor, to see me?" "Yes" Alvin replies. Silence. The camera zooms in to show tears moving down his brother's cheek. 

My friend Coleen, a flamingly passionate woman, went to see the movie The Passion of Christ about 18 times, bringing friends, and making amends to many she had harmed. She recalled that she had brutally bullied a small classmate Joey in junior high. She called him in California and learned he had a happy marriage, kids and good career. She said: "I am calling to apologize for how I treated you." Joey dismissed it: "Hey we were kids. Don't worry." Again: "I was cruel to you and am so sorry." Again dismissal: "Life goes on." A third time: "Joey, will you forgive me?" Silence. Soft sobs and then full crying, from an accomplished 45-year-old man. "Coleen, I could never understand why you hated me so and made me so miserable."

And so I invite: is there someone you feel led to reconcile, to ask for forgiveness, to forgive yourself? 

Network

Each of us is as strong as our personal network, our support community. Consider: who is it you most trust? With whom you can be honest? Who makes you feel safe, happy, worthy? Is it family, friends, clergy, counselor, support group? I refer back to the boarding home we have run for 17 years ands highlight that this was possible because of a very strong, broad support system. I invite all to consider and pray for a strengthening of their network.

Intercession

A final exhortation: on the value of prayer of intercession. If I am not with the ones I love, not concretely helping them, I can always pray for them. I note that most of our children and grandchildren live away from us but my wife and I are close to them in prayer. 

And so, we close with a moment of silence. An invite to pray for those we love. Also for everyone in that room and in that unit. And for all who work in the hospital in the works of mercy.

Praying for Fr. James Martin S.J. and His LGBTQ Coterie

This weekend as I write, Fr. Martin's Outreach (to the LGBTQ folks), which is connected with America magazine, is holding an LGBTQ pilgrimage in NYC, visiting sites significant for the gay movement. In accord with their modus operandi, this is no retreat into silence, anonymity, contemplation, contrition,  prayer or 30 days of spiritual exercises. No, it is broadcast on social media in a histrionic, dramatic fashion.  On an Instagram clip, we see participants at mass, receiving the chalice of the blood of Christ. 

To the Catholic mind this is blasphemous and scandalous. Blatantly, shamelessly, the participants are broadcasting across the internet that they practice-and-or-approve of homosexual acts as they receive the Eucharist. 

Full Disclosure:  I don't know Fr. Martin but I like and respect him only because one very dear to me works with him, likes him and respects him. This is easy for me as I always strive, with St. Ignatius of Loyola, to put the best possible interpretation on one's actions. Additionally, I have been friendly with many Jesuits with more liberal views than mine. 

The good part: at the end both Martin and his young, appealing friend ask, sincerely, "Please pray for us."

It is my practice that when asked for prayer I comply, although I often forget a little later. But my intention is to pray. So, this stormy Jersey shore weekend I am praying for this group.

Am I praying for their crusade? Of course not. Am I praying against their cause? Not really. I generally do not pray against things. I find prayer (like improv theatre) works best as positive and affirmative. So what do I pray for?

I pray for them what I pray for myself...constantly, desperately, passionately:  chastity. Interior purity of heart, especially regarding sexual longings. 

I don't have the homosexual "THING."  I have the heterosexual "THING." By "THING" here I mean concupiscence, disordered desire, compulsive-obsessive-fascination, emotional-moral chaos, immaturity, non-virility, narcissism,  irrationality,  woundedness,  lust/limerence, and inclination to sin. The homosexual and heterosexual versions are essentially the same thing...like being addicted to scotch or vodka.  

I myself am in the hetero-addictive club with JFK, MLK, Chavez, Weinstein, Epstein, Clinton, Trump, Vanier and legions more. I was blessed and protected from the full consequence of my inclinations by a providential symphony of grace: obviously an outstanding guardian angel, tons of good exemplars around me starting with my chaste/virile father and uncles, many good-holy women close to me, timidity and inhibitions, social restraints, good old Catholic guilt, and not enough money or sex appeal to get into trouble. All of this kept me relatively safe. But I am not about to throw stones at others who were not so protected. There but for the grace of God...

Chastity is at the core of our union with Christ: fidelity of spouses, abstention and innocence of the unmarried, celibacy of the priest, virginity of the religious. It images the purity of Christ's love for his Bride the Church. For many...probably most...of us this does not come naturally. We have to pray and strive for it...patiently, trustfully, perseveringly. 

So, as a certified member of the Communion of Sinners, I pray for my co-compulsives-in-recovery-and-conversion, the heteros listed above and the homos on the pilgrimage this weekend.

Let your Mercy be upon us as we place our trust in You!

Holy Ones: the Gifted, the Humble, the Mystical, the Ordinary

 Remembering and celebrating Blessed Archbishop Fulton Sheen this past week made me aware that he is a specific type of holy person. I call such "gifted" in distinction from contrasting types: humble, mystical and ordinary. The gifted saint combines holiness of life, prayer, and charity with an abundance of natural gifts and so is able to do so very much good. Such a person has high intelligence and so might be a theologian or teacher, but also other gifts: emotional stability, high energy, agency, purposefulness, charm, sense of humor and appeal. They are "influencers"...for the good.

Number one gifted saint on my list is St. John Paul II. Hands down most gifted saint ever. GOAT. 

Sheen is competitive for number two.

In recent memory I would consider:   Mother Teresa,  Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein), Fr. Patrick Peyton, Monsignor Luigi Giussani, Chiara Lubich, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, Dorothy Day, Catherine Doherty,

Founders of religious orders and movements usually fit this category. Additionally, such also receive from heaven some specific "charism" or way of life that expresses the Faith in a way both creative and loyal to tradition. Obviously: Benedict, Francis, Dominic, Ignatius of Loyola, John of the Cross, Elizabeth Seton, Katherine Drexel, Cabrini, etc. 

Among the living we see Bishops Barron and Eric Vardem, Kiko Arguello, Ralph Martin and his colleagues in the charismatic renewal. 

A contrasting style of holiness is the "humble": those without great natural gifts, often quiet and unknown, who walk "the little way" in deep trust, humility, charity and simplicity. The supernatural eventually shines through precisely that "littleness" and miracles often follow. The prototype here is St. Theresa of Lisieux. Hers was a hidden, modest, quiet life; but almost immediately after her death her journal spread across Christendom. Her spirit reigned over the 20th century with all its evil. We might include here Solanus Casey, Brother Andre, Fr. Leopoldo, Josephine Bakhita, Elizabeth Lisieux, and so many  unknowns. 

A third category might be called the extraordinary, supernatural mystics. All saints are mystics and all of us are called to mysticism, usually of a quiet, ordinary nature. But some are visited by heavenly, unnatural activities: stigmata, bilocation, levitation, reading of hearts, victim souls, dark nights of the soul, miracles, physical attacks from Satan, locutions, revelations, and incorruption after death. In recent memory we have: Padre Pio, Adrienne von Speyr, St. Faustina and the recipients of Marian appearances.

Our final and most pertinent type: ordinary holiness. This is our path. We lack the natural gifts of the first and the supernatural of the third. But our role model is the second: humility, trust, charity, gratitude. This is the path of the Holy Family in Nazareth: engaged in the ordinary, in quiet communion always with God. This requires decision, discipline, persistence...but above all trust as it is not something we do of our agency but God does it within us by the presence of the Holy Spirit.

We emulate the gifted saints as we gratefully use the abilities and opportunities we have received. Like the mystics we suffer...patiently, passively, trustingly, perseveringly...our specific afflictions and sufferings. 

But above all, we open our hearts in trust to God's love, like the humble ones, to become recipients and dispensers of the Divine Mercies. 

Lord,

Make me an agent of your Mercy,

Make me a servant of your little ones,

Make me a radiance of your holiness.

Name Dropping

 Indulge me, dear Reader, in some nostalgia. You will agree that Fleckinstein is a strong contender for the "Catholic Forest Gump of our Time Award." 

(Sidebar: one who refers to himself in the third person is an "illeist." Occasional or playful usage need not be pathological. So you need not worry about Fleckinstein!)

Age 10, 1957, my union leader father brings me to Washington DC where congress (McClellan Committee) was investigating fraud in the Teamsters. I saw Walter Reuther (UAW President, my father's boss), Barry Goldwater, Richard Nixon, Robert Kennedy; I shook hands with Senators Hubert Humphrey and John F. Kennedy.  Even to a 10-year-old, JFK was startlingly, unforgettably handsome and charming.

Circa 1967, with seminarian classmates, volunteered in Chicago's inner city Presentation parish where Monsignor John Egan was pastor and important figure implementing Catholic social justice, civil rights and the community organizing of Saul Alinsky.

Summer 1968, studied Spanish at the famous Cuernavaca think tank where Ivan Illich (mystic, eccentric, iconoclast, most brilliant man I ever encountered) gathered radical thinkers like Paulo Freire (godfather of liberation theology), Erich Fromm, Archbishop Serio Mendez Arceo,  

1969-71, studied theology as non-matriculated, mendicant lay student at Woodstock Theology Seminary in NYC, especially fundamental theology with Avery (later Cardinal) Dulles S.J., arguably the preeminent American Catholic Theologian of the late 20th century. Also studied under patristic scholar Walter Burkhardt S.J., mystic Joe Whelan S.J. and some of the best Protestant theologians at Union Theological: Cyril Richardson, Anne Ulanov, Robert Hardy, Samuel Terrien, Paul Lehman, Philip Phoenix (Columbia U.), Letty Russel (Hoekendike).

1970, visited Catholic Worker community and spoke with Dorothy Day. Looking for the place, I asked a humble looking elderly lady "Do you know where the Catholic Worker is?" and she pointed to the house before which she was sitting and said "Right there." Later, I learned she was Dorothy.

1971, lived in apartment building near Journal Square, Jersey City, across the street from Frank Sheed and Maisie Ward, surely the most influential Catholic couple in the Anglosphere in the last 100 years. I never saw them in our congested neighborhood, but occasionally saw Frank at 5 PM daily mass at St. Boniface, downtown. Fr. Jack Egan, our local version of Daniel Berrigan, would vent about the "military-industrial complex" to a dozen devout, elderly women (many didn't speak English) and Frank and me. He was my her o as a lay evangelist, theologian, writer. So timid was I that I never stuck out my hand and thanked him. Temperamentally and philosophically, I do not do "REGRET," but if I could relive my life, that is something I would correct.

November 1972, I heard influential theologian Bernard Lonergan S.J. speak on "Religious Commitment" at St. Peter's College near where we lived in Jersey City. I was bored. I have remained immune to the "Lonergan fascination."

March 1973, with my wife and parents heard Cardinal Leon-Joseph Suenens speak at the People of Hope in Convent Station, NJ. A major player at Vatican II and the preeminent ecclesiastical advocate for the charismatic renewal, he described his own personal touches of the Holy Spirit.

Circa 1974, met and spoke with Mother Teresa of Calcutta as she visited quadriplegic mother of students in my religion class in Jersey City. She looked at me sternly and said "I hope you are teaching the right things." I froze in silence. My wife, our daughter in her arms, defended me "Mother, do not worry, he teaches with the Church." She advised me to obtain and use the Catechism of Fr. John Hardon S.J. Needless to say, I did precisely this. Later we received the official, marvelous Catechism of the Catholic Church . 

Summer 1976, attended Eucharistic Congress for bicentennial in Philadelphia and heard Archbishop (now Blessed) Fulton Sheen. I was startled by his flamboyance, histrionics and exuberance. Since then I have come to appreciate his holiness, brilliance and significance.

For over 50 years, I have read, heard, followed and on occasion spoken with Ralph Martin, the most important leader of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, in the USA and across the globe.

In the 1990s and 2000s I twice heard Kiko Arguello speak in NYC. This is unusual for one that doesn't "walk in the Neocatechumenal Way." More intimately, I had the honor of being directly confronted and corrected by Kiko's missionaries to the USA, Giuseppe and Claudia Gennarini. 

1979 in NYC and 1995 in Newark, NJ, my wife and I saw Pope John Paul II.

Circa 2002 we heard Monsignor Lorenzo Albacete, of the Communion and Liberation Movement, speak at University of Notre Dame.

Around that same time I heard Scott Hahn speak at Franciscan University. 

2012 I participated in audience with Pope Benedict XVI.

Over the last two decades, largely through my own children, I have enjoyed the company of and conversation with Fr. Benedict Groeschel, Catholic psychologist Paul Vitz, theologian (of happy memory) David L. Schindler (and his remarkable colleagues at the John Paul II Institute in Washington DC including son David C, Healy, Lopez, Prosperi) and the Girardian Gil Bailie. 

That adds up to 25 of the most significant players in the American Church of our time. It is not just that I was physically in their presence, but that they have immensely influenced my own life and faith. 

Do you see why I love the Church so?

It has been a great time to be American and Catholic!

Yes, we stand on the shoulders of giants!

 

Grieving and Praying, as Catholics, with Lindsay and Patrick Clancey, in God's Holy Providence

The deaths of Cora, Dawson and Callan Clancy...in all their horror...are part of God's holy Providence...like the death of Christ and all human affliction. Of course, they (like all evil, sin, suffering) are not God's direct will, but his permissive will. He allowed them with the purpose of bringing a greater good out of them. What is God's greater purpose? We do not know the details. We know that the final aim is eternity in heaven together with God. 

The children were given a Catholic funeral mass, with Cardinal O'Malley presiding. Lindsay, Patrick, the Cardinal, their pastor-friend Fr. Bob and all Catholics know these three innocents are now alive, eternally happy, with God. Even old-school Catholics like Fleckinstein need not worry about purgatory here: they are Holy Innocents, we can peacefully pray to, not for them...and with them for Mom and Dad.

The destinies of Lindsay and Patrick are more complex.

I was heartened to learn of the importance of their friend-pastor  Fr. Bob, before and after the deaths. The day after the tragedy he administered the sacrament of anointing and the apostolic pardon (which removes temporal punishment due to sin) to Lindsay. In the years following he visited her weekly. This became a legal issue when the defense required records of all who visited her but the judge shielded the priest's visits as religious and unrelated to medical and legal affairs.

My hope for Lindsay is that she continue to be healed and sanctified by the sacraments of the Church. My view is that her degree of culpability...moral and legal...is very mysterious and unknowable. But she is surely suffering enough already so I hope there is no retrial. But whether in the hospital, prison or independent, she desperately needs the help of Christ through the Church. May God especially bless Fr. Bob. 

He also remained close to Patrick, even travelling to NYC to visit him in his healing process.

He affirmed Patrick's personal forgiveness and pleaded for mercy in light of the obvious mental illness.

With everyone else, I was mesmerized by the interview of Patrick on 60 Minutes by Ross Douthat (who did a marvelous job). Within seconds he gained my affection and respect: this could be my own son, friend, nephew. His forgiveness is authentic and impressive. He seems to be grieving in a normal manner. He is resilient and rebuilding his life. He retains and protects joyous memories of wife and children. We hope the best for him with his new family.

Yet, as a Catholic, I am saddened that he divorced Lindsay and has now remarried civilly, outside of the Church. 

We know as Catholics that even such a horrific act does not nullify the marriage. Annulment refers always to a defect of the marriage at its origin. Lindsay is now and will be Clancy; the bond is undissolvable. 

This is not to moralistically judge Patrick. He is doing amazingly well in my view. 

But this is to see the objective nature of the thing. 

Spiritually and ontologically, they are still married. But Lindsay has now factually lost her husband. It is understandable of course. Emotionally it is inconceivable that they would continue normally as husband and wife. Perhaps this loss is another aspect of "retribution" that she will pay. The "apostolic pardon" removes temporal punishment due to sin in purgatory, but not in this life.

I am sad for Patrick that he is not receiving the comfort of the sacraments. This is not surprising. The reporting is that they valued their faith but attended mass sporadically. In this they resemble about 80% of American Catholic who refrain from Sunday Eucharist. They are the norm.

This is, of course, a diluted, weakened Catholicism. It is my observation that the vast majority of Catholics are non-observant, yet attached to their faith in a variety of ways, many healthy but often sentimental, superficial and emotional. Sunday mass really is the litmus test for a Catholic. Staying home on Sunday is like a plant that uproots itself from the soil. So, many retain pious practices as they pick and choose what they like from the Catholic cafeteria. 

Patrick shared with Ross how he observed Callan's first birthday in NYC: he lit a candle in St. Patrick's Cathedral, whispered "I love you Buddy," walked to the street, and cried his eyes out. It was a cathartic grieving. Healthy. I am glad he had the faith to do that. But it would have been so much better if he went to confession, knelt in adoration, and then attended mass and received Holy Communion. 

I wonder: What would I do if our family experienced such a tragedy? There is only one thing I could do: Immerse myself in the sacraments. Christ in the Church is EVERYTHING! 

For Patrick I want what I want for Lindsay: in this life, communion with Christ in the sacraments of his Church.

Patrick and his new wife are impressive people: attractive, professional, intelligent, healthy, athletic, confident, charming. They will succeed in building a new life. But is that enough?

The singular sadness of my own life...of the Church of our time...is the loss of the Catholic faith, of so many, of our boomer generation and our children.

Going forward there is a possible path for Patrick. Recognizing his union with Lindsay, he might continue his partnership in a brother-sister, celibate union, faithful as father to their new child and "friend-brother-partner" to his not-really-wife. He could find a way to communicate with and support Lindsay, from some distance obviously, thus fulfilling his primal vow. He would be quite a man: faithful to two women, in a celibate virility we Catholics know well with our priests, sisters, brothers.

It is not for us to prescribe, or judge, or dispense "shoulds." 

It is for us to remember them in our prayers.