Praying for Fr. James Martin S.J. and His LGBTQ Coterie

This weekend as I write, Fr. Martin's Outreach (to the LGBTQ folks), which is connected with America magazine, is holding an LGBTQ pilgrimage in NYC, visiting sites significant for the gay movement. In accord with their modus operandi, this is no retreat into silence, anonymity, contemplation, contrition,  prayer or 30 days of spiritual exercises. No, it is broadcast on social media in a histrionic, dramatic fashion.  On an Instagram clip, we see participants at mass, receiving the chalice of the blood of Christ. 

To the Catholic mind this is blasphemous and scandalous. Blatantly, shamelessly, the participants are broadcasting across the internet that they practice-and-or-approve of homosexual acts as they receive the Eucharist. 

Full Disclosure:  I don't know Fr. Martin but I like and respect him only because one very dear to me works with him, likes him and respects him. This is easy for me as I always strive, with St. Ignatius of Loyola, to put the best possible interpretation on one's actions. Additionally, I have been friendly with many Jesuits with more liberal views than mine. 

The good part: at the end both Martin and his young, appealing friend ask, sincerely, "Please pray for us."

It is my practice that when asked for prayer I comply, although I often forget a little later. But my intention is to pray. So, this stormy Jersey shore weekend I am praying for this group.

Am I praying for their crusade? Of course not. Am I praying against their cause? Not really. I generally do not pray against things. I find prayer (like improv theatre) works best as positive and affirmative. So what do I pray for?

I pray for them what I pray for myself...constantly, desperately, passionately:  chastity. Interior purity of heart, especially regarding sexual longings. 

I don't have the homosexual "THING."  I have the heterosexual "THING." By "THING" here I mean concupiscence, disordered desire, compulsive-obsessive-fascination, emotional-moral chaos, immaturity, non-virility, narcissism,  irrationality,  woundedness,  lust/limerence, and inclination to sin. The homosexual and heterosexual versions are essentially the same thing...like being addicted to scotch or vodka.  

I myself am in the hetero-addictive club with JFK, MLK, Chavez, Weinstein, Epstein, Clinton, Trump, Vanier and legions more. I was blessed and protected from the full consequence of my inclinations by a providential symphony of grace: obviously an outstanding guardian angel, tons of good exemplars around me starting with my chaste/virile father and uncles, many good-holy women close to me, timidity and inhibitions, social restraints, good old Catholic guilt, and not enough money or sex appeal to get into trouble. All of this kept me relatively safe. But I am not about to throw stones at others who were not so protected. There but for the grace of God...

Chastity is at the core of our union with Christ: fidelity of spouses, abstention and innocence of the unmarried, celibacy of the priest, virginity of the religious. It images the purity of Christ's love for his Bride the Church. For many...probably most...of us this does not come naturally. We have to pray and strive for it...patiently, trustfully, perseveringly. 

So, as a certified member of the Communion of Sinners, I pray for my co-compulsives-in-recovery-and-conversion, the heteros listed above and the homos on the pilgrimage this weekend.

Let your Mercy be upon us as we place our trust in You!

Holy Ones: the Gifted, the Humble, the Mystical, the Ordinary

 Remembering and celebrating Blessed Archbishop Fulton Sheen this past week made me aware that he is a specific type of holy person. I call such "gifted" in distinction from contrasting types: humble, mystical and ordinary. The gifted saint combines holiness of life, prayer, and charity with an abundance of natural gifts and so is able to do so very much good. Such a person has high intelligence and so might be a theologian or teacher, but also other gifts: emotional stability, high energy, agency, purposefulness, charm, sense of humor and appeal. They are "influencers"...for the good.

Number one gifted saint on my list is St. John Paul II. Hands down most gifted saint ever. GOAT. 

Sheen is competitive for number two.

In recent memory I would consider:   Mother Teresa,  Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein), Fr. Patrick Peyton, Monsignor Luigi Giussani, Chiara Lubich, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, Dorothy Day, Catherine Doherty,

Founders of religious orders and movements usually fit this category. Additionally, such also receive from heaven some specific "charism" or way of life that expresses the Faith in a way both creative and loyal to tradition. Obviously: Benedict, Francis, Dominic, Ignatius of Loyola, John of the Cross, Elizabeth Seton, Katherine Drexel, Cabrini, etc. 

Among the living we see Bishops Barron and Eric Vardem, Kiko Arguello, Ralph Martin and his colleagues in the charismatic renewal. 

A contrasting style of holiness is the "humble": those without great natural gifts, often quiet and unknown, who walk "the little way" in deep trust, humility, charity and simplicity. The supernatural eventually shines through precisely that "littleness" and miracles often follow. The prototype here is St. Theresa of Lisieux. Hers was a hidden, modest, quiet life; but almost immediately after her death her journal spread across Christendom. Her spirit reigned over the 20th century with all its evil. We might include here Solanus Casey, Brother Andre, Fr. Leopoldo, Josephine Bakhita, Elizabeth Lisieux, and so many  unknowns. 

A third category might be called the extraordinary, supernatural mystics. All saints are mystics and all of us are called to mysticism, usually of a quiet, ordinary nature. But some are visited by heavenly, unnatural activities: stigmata, bilocation, levitation, reading of hearts, victim souls, dark nights of the soul, miracles, physical attacks from Satan, locutions, revelations, and incorruption after death. In recent memory we have: Padre Pio, Adrienne von Speyr, St. Faustina and the recipients of Marian appearances.

Our final and most pertinent type: ordinary holiness. This is our path. We lack the natural gifts of the first and the supernatural of the third. But our role model is the second: humility, trust, charity, gratitude. This is the path of the Holy Family in Nazareth: engaged in the ordinary, in quiet communion always with God. This requires decision, discipline, persistence...but above all trust as it is not something we do of our agency but God does it within us by the presence of the Holy Spirit.

We emulate the gifted saints as we gratefully use the abilities and opportunities we have received. Like the mystics we suffer...patiently, passively, trustingly, perseveringly...our specific afflictions and sufferings. 

But above all, we open our hearts in trust to God's love, like the humble ones, to become recipients and dispensers of the Divine Mercies. 

Lord,

Make me an agent of your Mercy,

Make me a servant of your little ones,

Make me a radiance of your holiness.

Name Dropping

 Indulge me, dear Reader, in some nostalgia. You will agree that Fleckinstein is a strong contender for the "Catholic Forest Gump of our Time Award." 

(Sidebar: one who refers to himself in the third person is an "illeist." Occasional or playful usage need not be pathological. So you need not worry about Fleckinstein!)

Age 10, 1957, my union leader father brings me to Washington DC where congress (McClellan Committee) was investigating fraud in the Teamsters. I saw Walter Reuther (UAW President, my father's boss), Barry Goldwater, Richard Nixon, Robert Kennedy; I shook hands with Senators Hubert Humphrey and John F. Kennedy.  Even to a 10-year-old, JFK was startlingly, unforgettably handsome and charming.

Circa 1967, with seminarian classmates, volunteered in Chicago's inner city Presentation parish where Monsignor John Egan was pastor and important figure implementing Catholic social justice, civil rights and the community organizing of Saul Alinsky.

Summer 1968, studied Spanish at the famous Cuernavaca think tank where Ivan Illich (mystic, eccentric, iconoclast, most brilliant man I ever encountered) gathered radical thinkers like Paulo Freire (godfather of liberation theology), Erich Fromm, Archbishop Serio Mendez Arceo,  

1969-71, studied theology as non-matriculated, mendicant lay student at Woodstock Theology Seminary in NYC, especially fundamental theology with Avery (later Cardinal) Dulles S.J., arguably the preeminent American Catholic Theologian of the late 20th century. Also studied under patristic scholar Walter Burkhardt S.J., mystic Joe Whelan S.J. and some of the best Protestant theologians at Union Theological: Cyril Richardson, Anne Ulanov, Robert Hardy, Samuel Terrien, Paul Lehman, Philip Phoenix (Columbia U.), Letty Russel (Hoekendike).

1970, visited Catholic Worker community and spoke with Dorothy Day. Looking for the place, I asked a humble looking elderly lady "Do you know where the Catholic Worker is?" and she pointed to the house before which she was sitting and said "Right there." Later, I learned she was Dorothy.

1971, lived in apartment building near Journal Square, Jersey City, across the street from Frank Sheed and Maisie Ward, surely the most influential Catholic couple in the Anglosphere in the last 100 years. I never saw them in our congested neighborhood, but occasionally saw Frank at 5 PM daily mass at St. Boniface, downtown. Fr. Jack Egan, our local version of Daniel Berrigan, would vent about the "military-industrial complex" to a dozen devout, elderly women (many didn't speak English) and Frank and me. He was my her o as a lay evangelist, theologian, writer. So timid was I that I never stuck out my hand and thanked him. Temperamentally and philosophically, I do not do "REGRET," but if I could relive my life, that is something I would correct.

November 1972, I heard influential theologian Bernard Lonergan S.J. speak on "Religious Commitment" at St. Peter's College near where we lived in Jersey City. I was bored. I have remained immune to the "Lonergan fascination."

March 1973, with my wife and parents heard Cardinal Leon-Joseph Suenens speak at the People of Hope in Convent Station, NJ. A major player at Vatican II and the preeminent ecclesiastical advocate for the charismatic renewal, he described his own personal touches of the Holy Spirit.

Circa 1974, met and spoke with Mother Teresa of Calcutta as she visited quadriplegic mother of students in my religion class in Jersey City. She looked at me sternly and said "I hope you are teaching the right things." I froze in silence. My wife, our daughter in her arms, defended me "Mother, do not worry, he teaches with the Church." She advised me to obtain and use the Catechism of Fr. John Hardon S.J. Needless to say, I did precisely this. Later we received the official, marvelous Catechism of the Catholic Church . 

Summer 1976, attended Eucharistic Congress for bicentennial in Philadelphia and heard Archbishop (now Blessed) Fulton Sheen. I was startled by his flamboyance, histrionics and exuberance. Since then I have come to appreciate his holiness, brilliance and significance.

For over 50 years, I have read, heard, followed and on occasion spoken with Ralph Martin, the most important leader of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, in the USA and across the globe.

In the 1990s and 2000s I twice heard Kiko Arguello speak in NYC. This is unusual for one that doesn't "walk in the Neocatechumenal Way." More intimately, I had the honor of being directly confronted and corrected by Kiko's missionaries to the USA, Giuseppe and Claudia Gennarini. 

1979 in NYC and 1995 in Newark, NJ, my wife and I saw Pope John Paul II.

Circa 2002 we heard Monsignor Lorenzo Albacete, of the Communion and Liberation Movement, speak at University of Notre Dame.

Around that same time I heard Scott Hahn speak at Franciscan University. 

2012 I participated in audience with Pope Benedict XVI.

Over the last two decades, largely through my own children, I have enjoyed the company of and conversation with Fr. Benedict Groeschel, Catholic psychologist Paul Vitz, theologian (of happy memory) David L. Schindler (and his remarkable colleagues at the John Paul II Institute in Washington DC including son David C, Healy, Lopez, Prosperi) and the Girardian Gil Bailie. 

That adds up to 25 of the most significant players in the American Church of our time. It is not just that I was physically in their presence, but that they have immensely influenced my own life and faith. 

Do you see why I love the Church so?

It has been a great time to be American and Catholic!

Yes, we stand on the shoulders of giants!

 

Grieving and Praying, as Catholics, with Lindsay and Patrick Clancey, in God's Holy Providence

The deaths of Cora, Dawson and Callan Clancy...in all their horror...are part of God's holy Providence...like the death of Christ and all human affliction. Of course, they (like all evil, sin, suffering) are not God's direct will, but his permissive will. He allowed them with the purpose of bringing a greater good out of them. What is God's greater purpose? We do not know the details. We know that the final aim is eternity in heaven together with God. 

The children were given a Catholic funeral mass, with Cardinal O'Malley presiding. Lindsay, Patrick, the Cardinal, their pastor-friend Fr. Bob and all Catholics know these three innocents are now alive, eternally happy, with God. Even old-school Catholics like Fleckinstein need not worry about purgatory here: they are Holy Innocents, we can peacefully pray to, not for them...and with them for Mom and Dad.

The destinies of Lindsay and Patrick are more complex.

I was heartened to learn of the importance of their friend-pastor  Fr. Bob, before and after the deaths. The day after the tragedy he administered the sacrament of anointing and the apostolic pardon (which removes temporal punishment due to sin) to Lindsay. In the years following he visited her weekly. This became a legal issue when the defense required records of all who visited her but the judge shielded the priest's visits as religious and unrelated to medical and legal affairs.

My hope for Lindsay is that she continue to be healed and sanctified by the sacraments of the Church. My view is that her degree of culpability...moral and legal...is very mysterious and unknowable. But she is surely suffering enough already so I hope there is no retrial. But whether in the hospital, prison or independent, she desperately needs the help of Christ through the Church. May God especially bless Fr. Bob. 

He also remained close to Patrick, even travelling to NYC to visit him in his healing process.

He affirmed Patrick's personal forgiveness and pleaded for mercy in light of the obvious mental illness.

With everyone else, I was mesmerized by the interview of Patrick on 60 Minutes by Ross Douthat (who did a marvelous job). Within seconds he gained my affection and respect: this could be my own son, friend, nephew. His forgiveness is authentic and impressive. He seems to be grieving in a normal manner. He is resilient and rebuilding his life. He retains and protects joyous memories of wife and children. We hope the best for him with his new family.

Yet, as a Catholic, I am saddened that he divorced Lindsay and has now remarried civilly, outside of the Church. 

We know as Catholics that even such a horrific act does not nullify the marriage. Annulment refers always to a defect of the marriage at its origin. Lindsay is now and will be Clancy; the bond is undissolvable. 

This is not to moralistically judge Patrick. He is doing amazingly well in my view. 

But this is to see the objective nature of the thing. 

Spiritually and ontologically, they are still married. But Lindsay has now factually lost her husband. It is understandable of course. Emotionally it is inconceivable that they would continue normally as husband and wife. Perhaps this loss is another aspect of "retribution" that she will pay. The "apostolic pardon" removes temporal punishment due to sin in purgatory, but not in this life.

I am sad for Patrick that he is not receiving the comfort of the sacraments. This is not surprising. The reporting is that they valued their faith but attended mass sporadically. In this they resemble about 80% of American Catholic who refrain from Sunday Eucharist. They are the norm.

This is, of course, a diluted, weakened Catholicism. It is my observation that the vast majority of Catholics are non-observant, yet attached to their faith in a variety of ways, many healthy but often sentimental, superficial and emotional. Sunday mass really is the litmus test for a Catholic. Staying home on Sunday is like a plant that uproots itself from the soil. So, many retain pious practices as they pick and choose what they like from the Catholic cafeteria. 

Patrick shared with Ross how he observed Callan's first birthday in NYC: he lit a candle in St. Patrick's Cathedral, whispered "I love you Buddy," walked to the street, and cried his eyes out. It was a cathartic grieving. Healthy. I am glad he had the faith to do that. But it would have been so much better if he went to confession, knelt in adoration, and then attended mass and received Holy Communion. 

I wonder: What would I do if our family experienced such a tragedy? There is only one thing I could do: Immerse myself in the sacraments. Christ in the Church is EVERYTHING! 

For Patrick I want what I want for Lindsay: in this life, communion with Christ in the sacraments of his Church.

Patrick and his new wife are impressive people: attractive, professional, intelligent, healthy, athletic, confident, charming. They will succeed in building a new life. But is that enough?

The singular sadness of my own life...of the Church of our time...is the loss of the Catholic faith, of so many, of our boomer generation and our children.

Going forward there is a possible path for Patrick. Recognizing his union with Lindsay, he might continue his partnership in a brother-sister, celibate union, faithful as father to their new child and "friend-brother-partner" to his not-really-wife. He could find a way to communicate with and support Lindsay, from some distance obviously, thus fulfilling his primal vow. He would be quite a man: faithful to two women, in a celibate virility we Catholics know well with our priests, sisters, brothers.

It is not for us to prescribe, or judge, or dispense "shoulds." 

It is for us to remember them in our prayers.

Chad Pecknold: Catholic Defender of ICE?

Significantly, Chad Pecknold is on leave of absence from teaching theology at Catholic University to become a public spokesman for the Trump administrations ICE policies. This is, to say the least, controversial. 

The US bishops have spoken with unusual unanimity, along with Pope Leo, against the current policies as inhumane. About 50 % of American agree. One study has it that 75% of those currently held in custody are innocent of any crime (other then being here illegally.)

Pecknold is a respected theologian, expert in St. Augustine, who speaks firmly on politics from a right of center position. He is closely aligned with the "post-liberal, new Catholic right" of Patrick Dineen, Adrian Vermule, Sohab Ahmari, and J.D. Vance who propose a new blended conservatism of resistance to Cultural Liberalism (anti-abortion, pro-family, anti-trans, etc.), patriotism, and working class appreciation for unions and a robust federal government to countervail big money and business. They are, on the whole, appreciative of the more Catholic-friendly aspects of Trump. 

By working in this high profile position for Trump he clearly opposes the broad Catholic hatred for the current policies. As a layman, a citizen, and even an ordinary theologian this would not ordinarily be troubling. The Catholic Church has no authoritative, official teaching on political policy. Such is open to a variety of opinions. Such is also the expertise, not of the hierarchy or priesthood, but of the laity in their roles as citizens, politicians, leaders, policy experts, governors and such. So, for a lay theologian to take a leave of absence to serve the government, even in such a sensitive area, is not problematic as such.

What sets this case apart is that Pecknold teaches in Catholic University which has "ecclesiastical faculties" to teach officially for the Church and grant canonical degrees (STD, STL) as distinct from secular academic degrees (MA, PHD). So, he has a "canonical mission" to teach on behalf of the Church. He is not ordained; is lay, not clerical; but has official, legal status to teach authoritatively in a "quasi-clerical" manner. So, his status as an ecclesial official is similar to that of the clergy. So, it becomes a problem for him to retain that status and yet participate as a political partisan, even if the moral issue was not so inflamed. 

(Sidebar: The Canonical Mission is distinct from the Canonical Mandate. Canon Law (#802) requires that all who teach theology in a Catholic college receive the mandate, indicating that they teach according to Church doctrine, from their bishop. This requires a lower level of scrutiny than does the more demanding "mission." Of over 200 Catholic colleges and universities in the USA, less than 20 require it. They are the usual suspects: Franciscan, Benedictine, Ave Maria, Catholic U, Belmont, Aquinas,  Wyoming, Belmont and (to my happy surprise) Mt. St. Mary's in Emmitsburg Md. 

Full disclosure: Fleckinstein, under his real-life name, proudly obtained and retains this mandate from when he taught as adjunct at local NJ Dominican Caldwell College.) 

Working for the Trump agenda he is clearly not "teaching on behalf of the Church." He is not exercising his canonical mission, but his ordinary prudential judgment as a layman and a citizen. But for clarity he would do well to at least suspend his canonical status, if that is possible. Ed Conlin (in Pillar seems to suggest such in a more detailed, instructive treatment of the issue.) However, in the long run, he needs to clarify his mission and vocation: to teach theology on behalf of the Church or to advocate for a political agenda. These are both callings; but they cannot be combined; just as a priest cannot be a politician. Probably he will return to his teaching within a few years. (Few stay long with Trump!)

But I fear his authority as "teacher on behalf of the Church" may be compromised, certainly for the 40% or so of Catholics that despise MAGA. A helpful analogy. Some 25 years ago when I directed our parish confirmation program, four of the 8th graders had fathers who were running against each other for local councilman. Needless to say, I did not hang a sign for any one of them in my front yard as that would have been offensive to the other three and compromised my mission. 

I have personally appreciated the judgment of Pecknold and his group as they balance the views of the American bishops and our current and recent popes. I agree with the common sense view of a majority of Americans: we need to control our borders, get rid of criminals, and leave decent-hard-working people alone. The Biden policy was as insane and dysfunctional as that of Trump is cruel. 

Social and political policy when delivered by the bishops and Vatican is always, systemically, one-sided and unbalanced. They apply the personal Catholic ethic of compassion to policy in an unrealistic fashion. I do not recall Biden being corrected by bishops or pope about his catastrophic open border policy. Clerics are overwhelmingly well-motivated, altruistic people with little capacity for dealing competently with bad actors: totalitarians, Allatollahs, border gangs, psychopaths, or pedophiles. And so they resist firm borders, capital punishment, warfare...not prudentially, but sentimentally, ideologically. They (John Paul excepting) generally fail to appreciate wholesome patriotism. 

Recall again: their competency is faith and morals, not social policy. They rightly address the moral dimensions of policy. Respectfully, but critically we listen. But we know their limitations. Political decision is not their lane.

And so, we benefit from lay participants who often appreciate the very Catholic values ignored by our prelates: patriotism, subsidiarity, freedom markets, and the just use of lethal force. We do well to pick up First Things or something by the "post-liberal Catholic right" after listening to Pope Leo or the bishops!

I admire what I know of Chad Pecknold. But we do well to pray for him. 

Trump has been the authentic champion of many of our Catholic values: unborn life, borders, family concerns, sexual values and other. But his personal depravity has spread, with a preternatural energy and efficacy, across his administration, the country and the entire globe. Tucker Carson said that he is such a strong personality that he literally casts a spell over those close to him. I think this is right...and frightening.  

I personally intend to pray fore Pecknold, along with Rubio and Vance, all talented leaders, devout Catholics, and decent family men...that God's grace deliver them from evil and help them to preserve the good of MAGA and defeat the evil of it.

The Feminine as "Holy": Mysterium, Tremendum, Fascinans

In his 1917 monumentally significant and influential The Idea of the Holy, German-Lutheran Rudolph Otto described the specifically "holy" or "numinous" as a distinct encounter, beyond the rational or ethical, with Reality as "mysterium" (beyond the ordinary, the intelligible, the profane), "tremendum" (awesome, terrifying, threatening) and "fascinans" (profoundly, intensively attractive and beautiful).

This essay will identify woman, the feminine human, as the apex of creation and the greatest manifestation of the holy, the sacred, the transcendental, the supernatural in the natural order.

Not Goddess, Divine Feminine, or Pantheism

Woman is the last and greatest creature according to the logic of Genesis where we see God moving from the least to the best in his six days of creation. Above all else, woman is:  CREATURE.  She is the greatest creature but she is creature. She is not a divinity, not a goddess.  The absolute, defining binary here is the infinite abyss between Creator and creature. Above all, we are NOT dealing here with pantheism or some "Divine Feminine."

Pantheism is the greatest metaphysical and spiritual disaster because it collapses this contrast: God is everything, everything is God, I am God, God is me. It is the leveling of all to the natural, the denial of the truly supernatural. It is the narcissism of Carl Jung, the hatred of Judaism/Christianity by Joseph Campbell, the "panentheism" (a camouflaged simulcrum) of Richard Rohr, the impersonal and morally ambivalent "force" of Star Wars, and the ecofeminism that despises anything paternal or masculine.

The hierarchy of being runs from the least, inanimate material like sand or stone, through the vegetative, the animal, the human, the angelic, and the divine. Question: are angels higher in the hierarchy than humans? 

Yes and No. They are pure spirits, intellect and will, unburdened by flesh with its finitude, temporality/spatiality, mortality, fragility, vulnerability and (post-Adam and Eve) sinfulness. In all this the physical/spiritual ("angimal") human is decidedly inferior. But in terms of relationship and destiny...and beyond the agonies and travails of the present era... humans are superior. We are made in the image of God, sons and daughters, to govern creation. We are joined intimately to the Trinity in the divine/human person of Jesus. God did not become an angel. But even more infuriating to Lucifer and his legion is that a singular human, a woman, Mary, is Queen of Heaven and Earth. The angels and humans all pay her homage. So the human woman has greater eternal glory than the greatest of angels (Lucifer himself.)...always as CREATURE.

Feminine Superiority as Receptive

The (primarily spiritual, but also physical, emotional, intellectual, social) superiority of the female over the male is her greater receptivity. Her entire being...body, heart, intellect, spirit...is supple, docile, sensitive, fluid, receptive, responsive, welcoming, integrated, and embracive. She receives (as she herself attracts) her lover, bridegroom, husband, seed of life, child, the stranger, the suffering, the spiritual and God's very Self.

The human person is bipolar, with feminine and masculine oriented towards each other and equal in ontological dignity. But there is immense dissimilarity. Each has superiorities: the male more physical muscle, emotional steadiness, abstraction in thinking, capacity for detachment, sense of personal boundaries. The female lives longer, has enhanced sensitivity, compassion, emotional intelligence, spiritual receptivity, innate generosity, capacity for communion with another, inclination to self-gift. The male is more vulnerable to violence, lust, discouragement, selfishness. The female more prone to anxiety...so, so, so vulnerable to anxiety! There is the mutuality in attraction: sexual, romantic, intellectual, emotional. There is the complementarity, strong in Catholic thinking about marriage where ideally the two balance, fulfill, correct and enhance each other. But this complementarity is not perfect by any means: the two do not make a perfect whole. Even in the Garden there surely was asymmetry between male and female. But more so in our lapsed condition do we misalign, misunderstand, frustrate, violate, neglect, and (YES) crucify each other. In the garden any asymmetry and dissonance was overcome as they walked together with God. But in out sinful state, this disharmony is intensified into abuse, suspicion, and hatred. In Christ the communion of man/woman is restored, even as it remains an ongoing, arduous task. 

The man can lift heavier weights and run a faster mile; but the woman is superior in the important things of the heart, soul, intellect and will. She is closer to the children, to the suffering, to God. The man's psyche is more brittle, rigid, fragmented, explosive, fragile, exclusive, selfish, defensive, violent. The average 12 year old girl has more emotional/psychological integrity than the average 18 year old boy. Because of his social/emotional/spiritual inferiority, the male needs to be socially elevated by the esteem of the woman, he requires a degree of deference in order that he may maintain some equality of influence in the family and community. Spiritually the mother entrusts her infant into the masculine arms of the father, by her evident affection, trust and admiration; so the little one inbreathes the mother's love and thereby enjoys the paternal as well as the maternal care. The maternal has priority and primacy; the paternal is dependent upon the graciousness of the mother.

Fascinans: the Feminine as Lovely

This interior womanly goodness manifests physically, emotionally, and every which way. The woman is comfort, protection, delight, encouragement...for the infant, her husband, other children, friends, and the feeble and suffering. It is above all, as Balthasar reminds us, the mother's smile: approving, affirming, luminous, inspiring. It is the harmony and clarity of her face and features; the curve and fluidity of her body and movements; the expressiveness of her face; her empathy; her boundless generosity. 

Consider the bride walking up the church aisle on the arm of her father: all eyes are upon her. She is radiant. Young and old, men and women...all are enchanted, charmed, fascinated. It is everything...her hair, dress, figure, expression...all manifesting as beauty a profound interior Mysterium of goodness.

Tremendum:  Awe and Fear

Why fear of the feminine? Why do so many primitive religions surround femininity with taboos, rituals, purification, and severe punishment? Why so much timidity, awkwardness, shame and even terror?

If we retain a primal sense of woman as source and sustainer of life, we also fear death as the consequence of the loss of her. 

When I was growing up, my mother regularly welcomed "the club," a group of five friends since early childhood. These were marvelous women: devout, intelligent, generous, modest yet elegant, humorous, unpretentious. Salt of the earth: everything good, nothing bad. Devoted to each other and the families. Irrationally, I suffered a severed timidity, a real terror at just walking into the room and saying hello. I realized at some point that my father, at that time mature, handsome, accomplished, self-confident leader of men, seemed to suffer something similar. Why? I have always considered it a temperamental weakness, timidity, fear...irrational, infantile. 

That was true. But it now seems that there was a deeper, spiritual-ontological apprehension of something deep and true: unconsciously these women awoke a sense of dependency, fragility, and vulnerability...an inchoate, noncognitive sense of dread and awe. The infant or child deprived of the mother's affection, protection, or approval goes into existential dread: the presence of death. The suggestion here is that a residue of that dread remains in the adult male and can be aroused without warning.

Perhaps this dread is in part the root cause of misogyny in all its forms...all the violence, abuse, control, escape from and neglect of women by men. 

Mary: The Quintessential Creature...Receptive of and Dispensive of God's Holiness

Our Blessed Mother is of herself small, humble, insignificant, vulnerable, fragile. But in the entirety of creation, she is the singular perfection as receptive and dispersive of God's love and grace. As such she is uniquely holy: mysterious, beautiful, awe-inspiring, numinous. 

Is she also fearsome, terrible, threatening? Not in her maternal tenderness. But she is perfectly pure and holy. As such, she is intolerant of evil, sin, unchastity. The devils flee from her presence. Evil cannot be in her presence. She it is who steps upon the head of the serpent. She above all, excepting only Jesus, even above St. Michael the Archangel, defeats Satan. In her purity, goodness, holiness she casts out sin and evil. She evokes reverence, wonder, and hyper-veneration. And profound, passionate emulation. No, we do not adore her. She remains one of us, always a creature. In all of creation and all of history, she alone is the impeccable reception and  manifestation of the Holy.

Our Singular Aspiration and Joy: that We and Ours Be Children of the Church

St. Monica, on her deathbed in 387 to her son Augustine in grief that she would not be laid with her ancestors in North Africa: "Lay this body anywhere and take no trouble over it. One thing only do I ask of you: that you remember me at the altar of the Lord wherever you may be.."

I have long envied now-recently-deceased Wendel Berry with his trans-generational sense of place in his Kentucky farm. Similarly, I am jealous of Jersey City families with whom we raised our children in that their entire families live near them, some firemen and police, in that city. Our family is scattered: NJ, Pa, Illinois, and Kentucky. We raised our family in Jersey City over half a century; none of us live there now. My own roots are deep: St. John's, Orange NJ, where my maternal great-grandfather helped build the Church, my paternal great-grandfather taught in the school, and today my priest-nephew says mass every Sunday: that is six generations over at least 140 years. We are all of us now re-rooted happily in new locations. That is fine, as long as everyone is at mass on Sunday.

I am charismatic Catholic. Involvement in a prayer group and reception of "release of the Holy Spirit" in 1973 transformed my faith and defined our subsequent family and life. With the exception of my niece's husband, no one in our extended family of about 160 is charismatic in this sense. That is fine, as long as they are in mass on Sunday. Most are.

In young adulthood, the 1970s, my 20s, our elite culture turned anti-Catholic and I became a Culture Warrior on the right and have been such ever since. Our children share our values, but none are exactly certified Culture Warriors. That is fine, at least they are Catholic.

Diplomatically, I am a strong internationalist, Catholic neo-Conservative hawk. My view of the world is structured by the Churchill/Chamberlain contrast; WWII; and the Cold War. Notwithstanding the flaws of Late-Post-Protestant-USA, she is a redeeming presence in a world of bad actors. The younger generations are not so hawkish. That is ok; as long as they are Catholic.

I consider myself a practitioner of the 12-steps. In dealing with my personal patterns of codependency and compulsivity, I have benefited from the literature, friendships and meetings including AA, Alanon, SA, EA (Emotions Anonymous), and aligned groups Suicide Survivor Support Group and Dr. Lowe's Recovery meetings. I qualify for Cancer-Surviver-Support-Group but have not participated. (Yes I am aware that I resemble here the Ed Norton character in Fight Club !😏   ) I am unaware of any family members involved in such programs. But that is fine; as long as they are sons and daughters of the Church.

Since high school I have been enthusiastic about the Catholic-Jewish dialogue, especially over the years at Seton Hall University. My children do not particularly share this interest. That is not important; what matters is their Catholic faith and practice.

I have aspired to live a radical, countercultural life of friendship with the poor...like Dorothy Day, Mother Teresa, the Friars of the Renewal, and such. We have actually lived a fairly "normie" middle class, parish-Catholic life. Our children show tendencies to non-bourgeois, bohemian Catholicism: one has 9 another 7 children, one has received 2 foster children, another lives the evangelical life of poverty/chastity/obedience, all are deeply involved in their children largely parochial schools. But we are no Catholic Worker family. That is okay. I don't so much care if we are low, middle or upper class; or even the 1%;  as long as everyone is at mass on Sunday.

I subscribe to the NY Times and have read it, religiously on Sundays, for 65 years. I watch Bret Baer on Fox News every night at 6 PM. Young people today don't take to newspapers or cable news. Not to worry. As long as they get to Church Sunday.

Our offspring are athletic; I am not. Lots of track; also basketball, soccer, football. The males love pro and college sports; I do not; so I join the women when talk turns to sports. The only thing I was halfway decent in was 3-wall, outdoor handball in college seminary. My partner, Tim, was one of the best athletes in the school so we were competitive. Athletically, those were my glory days. Today, no one in my family plays handball. I don't mind. I am just happy they all are in Church on Sunday. 

I love this blog. My wife, family and friends mostly don't care about my thoughts. But my blog is always there...waiting to receive every word. In our immediate family of 45, I am aware of one, my daughter-in-law, who may read the blog regularly. In my extended family of about 160, my nephew reads it daily. There are also two friends. And recently, my granddaughter's boyfriend. Total of 5. And then some irregulars. My "brand" is modest. I am not exactly a celebrity influencer! Hey! It is what it is! That is fine! We are all together, Sunday, at the Eucharist, wherever we happen to be.

Sure it can be lonely sometimes: no one with whom to pray in tongues, play 3-wall handball, discuss a Times opinion piece, root against the IRG, Putin, Hamas and the Cultural Conservatives, or work the steps! But you are never really lonely within the Communion of Saints: us militants in this world, the souls in purgatory and the triumphant saints!

In earlier essays, I identified seven flavors of Catholicism in our family: the Charismatic, the Notre Dame-booster-athletic-positive-confident-Americanist, Communion and Liberation, the Neocatechumenate, Ignatian Progressivism, Neo-Conservatism, and traditional Eucharistic-Marian devotionalism. These are all good options.

But no-frills-standard-generic-parish-Catholicism is simple, clear, straightforward: mass on Sundays and holydays (Don't forget holydays!), confession of mortal sin as needed, obedience to 10 commandments and 6 laws of the Church, loyalty to state of life (marriage or religious vows), reception of the Gospel from the Church, love of neighbor as yourself, and love of God...Father, Son, Holy Spirit...with all your mind, and all your heart and all your soul and all your strength. 

We happily observe our grandchildren growing and doing many marvelous things. But at the end of the day, one thing matters: To live in the heart of the Church and travel the road to holiness.