These are not the invincible, georgeous, hyper-intelligent superwomen of "Hunger Games," "Alias" or "Covert Affairs." These women are fallible, vulnerable, and devastated by abuse, rape, betrayal, disbelief. Two involve imprisonment for murder. One serious mental illness. The actresses are lovely but their raw physical beauty is camouflouged by the horror of their suffering as well as the focus on the intelligence and moral character that shines through the darkness and allows the final victories, however imperfect. u
I found them to be realistic: misogyny is the most systemic, persistent, profound, and finally catastrophic evil across our globe. In our world, the renunciation of the chauvinist dimensions of traditional patriarchy has resulted in a more subtle, sophisticated and disguised attack against the very form of femininity by the Cultural Liberalism of "reproductive rights," careerism, individualism, pornography, contraception, and a faux femininism that mimics the worst of toxic masculinity. The broad brush rejection of authority-paternity-tradition eviserated both masculinity and femininity of inner form: leaving us fatherless as motherhood is mercilessly abused. It is of interest that the most impressive, admirable character in these movies, Detective Karen Duvall in "Unbelievable" is portrayed powerfully by a radiant Merritt Wever who was herself fathered (so says google) by a sperm donation to a femininist activist mother. Art copies life: giving us a fatherless world.
The male characters fall easily into three types. The worst are the vicious, sadistic psychopaths who rape, abuse, despise the woman in her vulnerability. Secondly, most are not so despicable, but simply clueless and insensitive. They exercise their under-developed male intellect and psyche with decent intentions but are so oblivious to the feminine reality that they indeliberately inflict grave, on-going harm. The best example would be the male detectives in "Unbelievable" who find no objective evidence of the rape and conclude, after learning that the victim had recently been attention-seeking, that it was a false accusation. This is not an unreasonable conclusion; but they proceed to pressure and manipulate her, in their righteous self-confidence, in a manner that is indeliberate but horrific. These may be taken as protypical of the universe portrayed in all four movies: the violence against innocent, vulnerable, powerless women is unbearable even as it is systemic, pervasive, and in part not consciously intentional. The third and best type of male in these movies is the supportive, decent, kind-hearted guy (typically, the two husbands of the marvelous protagonist female detectives in "Unbelievable") who are however entirely marginal and removed from the dramatic action. They have no influence or effect. They are on the sidelines. They are nice but, regarding the conflict, impotent. Each woman is largely on her own with some support from other women, but the men are at best useless. This is a world without real men, without fathers.
Its not easy to be a man, these days...to be a real man...strong but gentle...a gracious, protective, life-giving presence. As a Catholic man how do I respond to this fatherless, misogynist, realistic universe.
First, it is salutary for us men to contemplate a woman's agony. Women suffer more than men: they are more sensitive, less crude; they are empathetic and open to the pain of another; they are instinctively generous and make themselves vulnerable. By nature the man is more isolated, thick-skinned, selfish, indifferent to the other. The male has greater physical and social power. The undeveloped male psyche is clueless and insensitive about the female heart, intellect and soul. The mission of the man is to cherish, protect, revere, and provide for the woman (with child, elderly, sick, etc.) but the disordered orientation of the sinful male soul is to lust, power, and contempt for feminine "weakness." In this Christmas season, as Catholics we ponder the words of Simeon to Mary, that "a sword would pierce her heart." They are not spoken to Joseph nor to Jesus. So as we consider Our Lady of Sorrows and our Lady of Mercy, we men need to dilate and soften our closed, hardened hearts.
Secondly, it is humbling to see how marginal and weak we men can be, but that can also lead to humility. Humility is the primary masculine virtue (in my view, even prior to chastity and courage) as it allows us to represent Another, our heavenly Father. Dependence upon our own agency, virtue and autonomy is catastrophic. Here our model is, of course, St. Joseph. He himself is marginal to the Christmas story. He never says a word. He doesn't initiate but he obeys. His silence, his responsivness allow the working of God's providence. This should encourage us men, not to be assertive or aggressive, but to be docile, responsive, trusting, and allow the Holy Spirit to work through us in all gentleness and strength.
Third, it is good for us to consider women in their interiority of truth, goodness, beauty. We men are easily distracted, even mesmerized by physical feminine beauty. But contemplation of radiant inner femininity does not come without a long internship of restrain, prayer, listening and glancing more deeply at her. It is an inspiring, even sanctifying exercise to consider the generosity, courage, resilience and intelligence of women around us, even on Netflix.
Moving through the Christmas season and into the New Year...may we draw closer to the Holy Family, to the fatherly Joseph and the motherly Mary...bring some light to this dark misogynist dystopia...as we allow ourselves to be renewed in our own femininity and masculinity!
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